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AIBU?

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Original poster

Would you go to Canada for a week during child's GCSE exams?

156 replies

Dramatic · 31/10/2025 17:28

DH's friend lives in Canada. He is getting married next June and has invited me and DH. We have 4 kids, ages will be 19, 16, 14 and 6.

I don't know this friend well at all, met him once at a party and barely said two words to him so I'm not too fussed if I miss the wedding but I would love to go to Canada.

My 16yo would be in the middle of her GCSEs and so I'd told DH I don't think I can leave her during such a stressful time, our youngest DD has also never been left for more than one night.

He says they'll be fine and I should go, they'd be looked after by grandparents and eldest DD. We don't usually have the opportunity for long haul holidays. Would you go?

OP posts:
BoarBrush · 31/10/2025 19:47

For one single exam you know she'll walk through, yeah maybe. But for 3-4, absolutely not.

My dh had bought tickets for my favourite band (they typically only visit the UK every 5 years) thinking that dd would be finished her Nat 5s, she still had one exam on the day we would have to travel home. I insisted we cancel, she insisted we go as it was just religious, moral and philosophical studies and would be a walk in the park.

StewkeyBlue · 31/10/2025 19:48

Where in Canada is the wedding? Canada is a huge country (obviously) with so many fantastic places, but if the wedding is in the middle of a dreary industrial town in the middle of Ontario (for example) you might not see much. And the wedding would take up a lot of the time, so a wedding might not be the best way to see what you would like to see if Canada.

I am another who would not consider leaving my Dc during GCSEs. No way.

user1492809438 · 31/10/2025 19:52

No and don't think much of your DH attitude either...clearly not going for parent of the year.

TheatreTraveller · 31/10/2025 19:56

No absolutely not, and my DH wouldn't contemplate going either. We're not martyrs by any stretch but our kids come first always.
I also wouldn't consider leaving a 6-yr old for that long.

Runningismyhappyplace50 · 31/10/2025 19:58

No, I would not (possibly if it was half term). Eldest did his GCSEs this year and it was full on and stressful.

tattychicken · 31/10/2025 19:59

Nope.

outofofficeon · 31/10/2025 20:13

No way

Kdubs1981 · 31/10/2025 20:15

Nope

CagneyNYPD1 · 31/10/2025 20:46

Nope. The week “off” from the exams needs to be a combination of rest, structure, downtime and revision. You want her ready to go again for that final push. Momentum can be easily lost. Neither DH nor I would have considered this.

Riverswims · 31/10/2025 21:30

you’ll also be destroyed by the flight back, we were then got a bug from the plane so not much support when you return either

AliTheMinx · 31/10/2025 21:33

No. Definitely not.

Tiswa · 31/10/2025 21:55

To be honest @Dramatic it was fairly obvious that he wasn’t her biological father!

BaconCheeses · 31/10/2025 21:57

Tbh if I was going as far as Canada, it would be on my schedule, not to fit in a load of someone else's wedding who I barely knew.

DH goes alone, then go together properly.

Original poster
Dramatic · 31/10/2025 22:08

Tiswa · 31/10/2025 21:55

To be honest @Dramatic it was fairly obvious that he wasn’t her biological father!

In his defence he works away so missing things like this is a regular occurrence for him

OP posts:
moneyadviceplease · 31/10/2025 22:30

Absolutely not. My youngest is doing GCSE’s this year and I’ll not leave him from April until at least a week after they finish

Tiswa · 31/10/2025 22:34

Dramatic · 31/10/2025 22:08

In his defence he works away so missing things like this is a regular occurrence for him

Show quote history

I think he is still underestimating the impact - he must have been there when your eldest was going through it

I missed a wedding last year the same weekend

JudgeJ · 31/10/2025 23:30

moneyadviceplease · 31/10/2025 22:30

Absolutely not. My youngest is doing GCSE’s this year and I’ll not leave him from April until at least a week after they finish

Poor lad! I recall when I was teaching more than one student complaining to me that their parents, usually their mother, driving them mad with constantly trying to be 'helpful' and 'supportive', as one lad said to me 'I'm taking the exams, not her, all she's done is make me feel more stressed'. It does seem that parents get themselves very involved in their child's exams and I don't think it's always useful, but it makes them feel better parents!

ErrolTheDragon · 31/10/2025 23:34

Another no.
My brother’s wedding was the weekend before dds GCSEs so I just went away for one night, DH stayed at home with DD. No way would one of us let alone both have gone abroad for a week during her exams, and certainly not for essentially just a holiday as you don’t really know the people.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 31/10/2025 23:37

Absolutely not.

The key thing, I found, during my dd’s GCSEs last year was to keep everything as calm, normal and ordinary as possible. For life outside of the exams to be predictable and samey during the exam period.

I did a bit of testing her on certain subjects but I think a parent’s main contribution is to make sure there are no avoidable distractions in the home life.

ThatsNotAKnife · 31/10/2025 23:42

No.

No5ChalksRoad · 01/11/2025 00:12

Of course you should go. Your kids will be fine.

ClareBlue · 01/11/2025 00:15

Will you be able to really enjoy the trip knowing your daughter was in the middle of a stressful situation made harder because she might feel you have prioritised a wedding over her.

DelphiniumBlue · 01/11/2025 00:16

No, not during GCSEs.

childofthe607080s · 01/11/2025 00:17

No

showyourquality · 01/11/2025 00:18

No

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