To think man I’m dating was wrong to ask this? Or is it ‘normal’ these days and I’m just prudish

[GabbyK]

Man I’ve been on 6/7 dates with and all going well.

I was at a works do last night, posh hotel so dressed up. Sent him a photo of me once I’d got ready.

He replied ‘where’s the money shot’

I asked what he meant and he said ‘your tits obviously’

I haven’t dated for years so don’t know if this is just how things are now..but was I wrong to be taken aback?

What a strange response! Wouldn’t a normal reply be ‘you look great!’ Not ‘get your tits out!’ or words to that effect. Obviously you know what he’s like in real life but I’d be upset at not receiving a compliment on being dressed up and sharing a picture where I think I look good.

@GinaDavva what are you talking about? Nuns don’t have boyfriends. Stupid comment.

@GabbyK I would dump him immediately and not waste any more time on him. So he was just joking, yeah, he was just showing you who he really is. Don’t lower your standards.

What nunnery have you been in?

Money shot may now have porn connotations, we don't know if he knew that. It can just mean the best bit, was often a glamourous actresses face, think Marilyn Monroe, or a dramatic scene in a film (not porn) he may well have just been saying you have lovely breasts, in a rather crude way. A bit crass but not necessarily a deal breaker. What's he like usually? Was he put out by you going to the posh do without him?

It is ok to have standards and self respect. It is ok to expect that any man you are considering romantic entanglement of any kind with must respect you and see you as a whole person not just a chance at sexual gratification for them. It is not "prudish" to refuse to be objectified. If that's normal for him, he'll need to stick to women with no self respect in future. Hope you find a decent one next time, but it's better to be single than to put up with that kind of thing.

Neither I would.

Honestly, this is NOT normal. Or at least not with the men I've dated! I've dated as a woman in her 30s on and off (in between fairly serious relationships) since 2018 and I have never experienced anything like this - nor most of the other negative experiences like dick pics, unsolicited rude comments etc. Probably because I've got zero tolerance for anything like that so if I even get a hint of anything too sleazy/sexual/casual from a man's pics (selfies in bed, topless pics etc) then I just move past them. And then I do the whole messaging back and forth for a good few days before agreeing to meet. (Also I don't give them my number unless/until I have met them in first and want to see them again.. another little thing that seems to put off some men but that's a bit of a red flag to me again - yes the dating apps are a bit annoying to exchange messages on, but moving to whatsapp removes all my control/safety of keeping my number safe and (usually) being able to report something abusive/sexual on the apps.

Not saying that OP has done anything wrong here, but I do think she should look back on their communications and past experiences and see if there's any red flags there that you might have missed that you can look out for next time. (Assuming you're not ok with this language and you dont want to carry on seeing him!)

Edited to add that I mean the combination of the money shot message plus the tits comment is what I personally would think is unacceptable. If it was just the money shot comment then maybe I'd think he meant something like others have mentioned - a nice clear photo of your face for example if you'd just sent him a group pic or whatever. Like the PP commented before - the best photo of Marilyn Monroe or whatever. I definitely think the meaning of "money shot" has adjusted somewhat over the years from the porn comment.. just like all language has.

Or he just meant, get yer tits out luv!

Yes it is a deal breaker for lots of women. We've all said it on this thread, why are you dismissing that?

That would dry me up like the Sahara. I’d get out now.

Hang on… you think there might be a group photo featuring your tits later on at a work event?

Where do you work, as this might be driving his response (which is otherwise gross)

I’m a man and that even gives me the ick!

Why would he want her to get her tits out at a posh do, probably with lots of other men there? He might have just meant a shot showing the neckline of the posh dress revealing a bit of breast and cleavage. The conclusion jumping is mind boggling, I guess it's people's experience of some very dodgy men.

This. Dump him immediately.

I've no idea why you're pretending you're confused. OP states this in the very quote you've used.

but said I wasn’t comfortable taking one just for that reason and he replied to say he was just joking

That'd be a massive turn off for me. Just no. Even him saying 'your tits' like your breasts are some inanimate object or something.

Perhaps some wouldn't mind this type of talk but it's not for me.

I’m not pretending to be confused - I really am confused!

I get she isn’t comfortable taking one for that reason, but she’d send him a group one?

I would rather be surrounded by cats than ever date a man who says stuff like that.

This. He'd be going on his own. Yuk !!

Well he's saying he fancies you and is so aroused by your breasts he orgasmed over a picture of them. I guess in a sexual context it's meant to be a compliment?!

Maybe it came (no pun intended) out of the blue a bit and he's testing the waters for dirty texts/pics. If you haven't done that yet. Not that you should if you're not comfortable.

I dont understand OP's response either. Thought I was the only one.

So many low class men out there.
What a way to talk to anyone.
So rough.
He certainly isn't trying to impress you is he?🙄

😩🤣🤣🤣🤣

Ew, says so much about him

🙄