Return from mat leave gone wrong

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I need some advice. I'm to embarrassed to talk to anyone in real life other than DH.

Before going on mat leave, I was a very high performer, far exceeded all my targets and was looking at promotion. When I got pregnant, I worked extra hard as I was conscious i didn't want to lose out (for context). I came back from mat leave in June and it's all gone horribly wrong. June coincided with our annual reviews meetings. So in my meeting I asked about promotion next year (June 2026). Everything was going well until that point, I was getting lots of praise. The mood changed. The senior partner went on a rant as to why I'm not prepared to promote. Ok....Then 2 things happened:

1. I struggled a bit in the first few months to put in all the hours needed. It was an adjustment, I wasn't actually doing anything wrong or causing problems but I couldn't do overtime or go the extra mile. My baby wasn't sleeping, so I wasn't sleeping, and then he got extremely sick and ended up in A&E in week 3. I caught up and was back to my former self after the first 2-3 months. Some managers were very understanding and said of course there will be an adjustment period. But some people decided I wasn't reliable enough anymore and took work off me, so now I don't have enough work to meet targets.

1. This senior partner has made it his mission to point out every single mistake I make. 90% of the time, they are not mistakes at all or they are not mine. I was just sat down this morning for a half an hour lecture about a mistake a paralegal made and how it was ultimately my fault as my instructions were not good enough. The paralegal has not made a mistake, and neither did I. No mistakes were made whatsoever. He completely misread an email and is making it up. I cannot emphasise how completely made up it is.

I stood my ground but he ended the meeting saying him and the rest of senior management are keeping a close eye on me as my work is not up to standard. I spent the rest of the day in my office teary and wobbly (nobody saw anything, I have my own office).

I'm devastated. I don't know what to do. Do I stick it out, redeem myself and hope to get promoted in a few years? I should move on, but I feel I would be throwing away years of hard work and built up goodwill.

My DH is concerned they're looking at firing me altogether. The market is slow and the firm has overhired in the last 18 months.

To be clear, I won't be making any claims or going to HR. It's career suicide. The senior partner in question holds a huge % of equity in the firm as well so there is no point.

I’m so sorry. I used to be in law and I saw this happen all the time to women in my team returning from mat leave. It’s so wrong. I would be inclined to look for a position elsewhere, even though you shouldn’t have to. Sending hugs x

How long were you on maternity leave for? If you’ve just had a year off Personally - and many wouldn’t agree with this - the same month I returned from leave I wouldn’t be asking about promotion within the year? Did you work with this particular partner before or is he new?

if promotion requires over time etc which you can’t now do because of family commitments then I’d look for a job elsewhere which is more family friendly and doesn’t have such high performance targets to achieve promotion? And in the meantime I would follow up every criticism or where they have said you have made errors with a formal reply in writing stating how/why the error was not your responsibility so at least if you have a communication trail if this looks to be heading to dismissal?

I think if this senior partner is a permanent fixture at your firm, this issue isn’t going to go away.
Time to explore elsewhere, I would suggest - though I do get that it is hard as a new mother.

I ended up moving teams within 6 months of returning from mat leave, because of a nightmare boss. Quite frankly I had enough on my plate to not put up with being badly treated at work.

DH has just escaped a toxic workplace after being there FOREVER, and it is such a pleasure for him to now be working somewhere where people behave professionally and actually give a crap about people.

@traintonowheretoday I was off for 10 months. It was the annual review meeting. Literally the meeting of the year where you talk about targets, your goals, where you want to go and your opportunity to talk about promotion and how you're working towards it! You even have to fill in a personal development plan before going in.

I will ask you — even though I can guess the answer - if you are a member of a trade union? This sounds like you are being treated differently because of your maternity. You work in law - you know this is illegal. If you are a union member, get their advice very soon.

No, I'm not part of a union. I wouldn't want to make any claims or complaints, I'd be better off leaving and finding somewhere else.

Did you work closely with this Senior partner before maternity does he know your works prior to mat leave? If not its gping to be an uphill struggle as it seems like he's marked your card in a way. But twats like this only understand 2 things 1. Stick to the policies and hr bits in place all the way ( which you've said no to) 2. Silently look elsewhere or shift departments in you can so your not under his lead etc. Depends on the size of the firm how easy that would be to do though. Ultimately he's on a power trip, prob has to have a cull and your i.t for now..which is crap.

Also in your return to work etc there should be certain support policies in place by hr look them up so you know what's what before they try to pull anything sly. Personally I'd move sideways elsewhere for now in house or elsewhere.

Check out Pregnant Then Screwed, which should be able to offer you advice in this scenario

@Nazzywish yes, he was my mentor and a big supporter. He was the one that promised promotion before I left. Which is why it's all so confusing.

I experienced discrimination after mat leave (worse than this) and moved to a new job. I didn't want to move, but within three months of starting the new role I had been promoted - so there was nothing wrong with my performance, maternity leave just meant my cards had been marked by a sexist boss. He's since done the same to multiple women he manages.

Personally, I think you should move. My new job didn't even know I had any kids for the first year (let alone that my child was under 1). I don't think it's worth trying to fight for a job if your boss is discriminatory to women

*also, to add to my message - my sexist boss also promoted me and was a huge supporter of me before I became pregnant... Then his attitude changed completely

I'm Civil Service and we have loads of lawyers come and work for us after having DC because private practice is so un-family friendly. Could you consider a move like that or a move in house instead?

@SecretCS to be honest, my partner is in the civil service already and, while it seems to be a wonderful place to work, living in London means we just couldn't afford for both of us to be on CS salaries...at least not without seriously downsizing.

Frightening that this is allowed to happen and you cannot have impartial support without it being held against you
I work in public sector and this wouldn't be allowed to happen

If you can't/ won't take it to HR and you don't have the bandwidth to deal with what sounds like gaslighting from your senior (totally understandable with a new baby) then please look to move jobs now before he destroys your mental health.

Does your firm offer career coaching? We were offered coaching on return from maternity leave (city law firm). Might that be something you’d find helpful?

Is this your first DC?

I think they're hypothesizing you're going to go on mat leave again within the next two years and, combined with the overhiring/slow market angle, are conspiring to get you out.

I'm not one to say throw away all the hard work you've put in and the goodwill you've created - but the partners/equity partners are unlikely to turn over and it seems like they've made their mind up on what they want to do and will stick with it. I don't see how the path they're on now will be reversed.

I'm sorry this is happening to you.

I knew it would be law before I opened the thread
Have seen it happen to so many female solicitors
You either fight for your legal rights or look for another job
You might have to downsize a bit
Its shit but it does seem,unbelievably in n 2025 , STILL the way it is

@Ledwood85 yes, it's my first baby. I have lost count of the number of times I have been asked by the partners on when I'm planning no.2 (said in a very happy, cheery note but I guess they're actually just looking ahead like you say).

what sort of promotion are you referring to? In law you are talking about counsel or partner position, surely, which means you need a business case, hours and successful pitches? If its something else like senior director etc then I think they are being unfair but if you haven’t been pulling the billable hours then I think it’s they might just think you are being entitled/ not thinking about the bigger picture?

Sounds to me like they are applying pressure to you so that you realise you ‘can’t’ be a mum and achieve highly at work, in the hope you quit because they can’t legally make you leave. Misogynistic arses.

Check out HanLaw on LinkedIn - amazing woman who will understand and be able to help you decide on a way forward.

It’s hard to comment. So hugs:

like first 2 posters wrote, from just reading your op, it was obvious your title was correct. Other than not asking for a promotion straight after long leave of any kind, why on earth didn’t you ask for a promotion before you went on maternity leave when you say you were always hitting your targets? I am a woman. I am in law. As soon as I became senior enough, one of the new dresses I started wearing was to ask for more money and promotion as soon as I felt it was justified, and not ask for any of that at my most vulnerable. I too believe you need to start looking elsewhere, and I cannot see why downsizing is a negative thing. You’ve just had a baby..

To be honest, you’ve answered your own questions there. I don’t think you have any other option but to leave as you won’t raise a complaint.

However what you don’t seem to realise is that you’re not being given the privilege to “ride it out”, they seem to be managing you out now. That kind of meeting wasn’t simply about pushing the promotion back, and merely saying you’re not ready for promotion…he’s saying you can’t do your current job and everyone is watching you. To me, that’s very clear that you’re not wanted in role now, and they’re creating a paper trail now to legit get rid of you and free up your substantive role. They’re not going to keep you on their payroll infinitely, they’re clearly starting to document these issues in an attempt to end your employment there in a set amount of time.

The only way to throw a spanner in the works of their plan would be to push back, get your point of view across in writing and complain, but you’ve already said you won’t do that. Hence why your only option is to leave.

Alternatively if you have the funds, you could seek a solicitor’s guidance or attempt to negotiate an exit agreement but that sort of thing depends on your salary/seniority.

What a joke, this happens in public sector all the time. You’re clearly unaware that public sector employers get taken to employment tribunals the most out of any other employer- and they lose the most claims too.