Who decides when a child needs a coat on?

[girlfriend44]

Waiting for the bus today. There was a child with his grandad.
The grandad wanted him to put his coat on, but he didnt want it on

An ongoing bottle ensued between the two. The mum was there as well with other children but didnt get involved.
The coat went on, then it was flung to the floor.
Grandad was met with much opposition from the child who didnt want the coat on.
Eventually grandad won, the coat went on and stayed on.
I heard the grandad say come on your not with your mum now you know, your with me,.This implied to me he was stronger than than the mum and he knew it.

It got me thinking though, who decides when a coat goes on?
Should the boy hace had the choice or was grandad right?

choose your battles. My daughter wears skirt and short socks to school. Never wears wooly tights and usually carries her coat

DS (and friends) made a point in primary school about wearing shorts all year round. By year 4 I had given up suggesting trousers!

DD hates to wear a coat and jumper. It’s one or the other. She will run to school in shorts and t shirt on PE day except on the coldest days. I do take her coat but that’s mainly so I don’t look like the bad parent.

From about age 6 or 7, child decides IMO.

Just read that they’re 8-12! I’d let the kid decide and suffer the consequences if it was really cold. Weather at the moment isn’t worth the battle imo. But I would ask them to carry it.

if it were tipping it down I’d also be saying wear it or you’ll be doing all the wet washing/drying!

theres a consent issue here too - not sure if there was much of a physical tussle?

Think you quoted wrong. I said nothing about Covid.

Well it depends on whether the child is disabled as well. I remember the looks my poor dm got as I was autistic and couldnt abide being remotely too warm. It would feel wrong and i'd feel overwhelmed and panicky.

Now ive got my diagnosis, I understand it, but back then, i was seen as weird and 'estatey'

But if youre sure your kid isnt feeling that way, you should do your best to wrap them up

Grandad wants the best for the child he's not fighting with the mum there. Did you read something sinister into the situation? It's cold, coat goes on, all adults would agree. I'd make my kid wear it, whether I'm granny or mum or grandpa.. The kid has not a choice in the matter, parenting isn't a democratic thing at that age. If kid is kicking and screaming I'd just wait and be patient until he wears or we go home with some consequences such as no TV etc.

I far prefer cardigans too & sweatshirts are ok if the fit is right. I can't wear hoodies as I hate the way the hood feels so bulky!

Can't wear dressing gowns either!!

We are foster carers (also an ex infant teacher). One young lad refused to wear trousers for all of y5 and 6, he wanted shorts wasnt happy eith fabric over his knees. He also refused a coat and sometimes his jumper even in winter. He did have to wear his jumper to walk to school in winter. However i always sent them in with him so if anyone challenged why this child wasn't wearing appropriate clothing, they could see it was his choice

Yep, this!

Why stand in the hall for 20 minutes having an argument about it? Just leave the house, taking the coat with you and it usually goes on soon enough!

This is my son. Shorts and polo shirt all year round. Jumper and coat in his bag.

Occasionally he'll go to the other extreme and have hat, scarf and gloves on with his big winter coat in July.

Wish people would just not be so judgemental. I feel so guilty when mine won't wear a coat, but especially if we're just going to get in the car and take it off again (car seat safety), I really don't see the point. I remember hating being told to wear my coat for even the shortest trip outside. I can feel if I'm cold and decide for myself, I could as I kid too.

Another depends on the age - I have a 4yo and make sure wearing sensible shoes/clothes, but with her coat I'll suggest she puts it on but if she doesn't want to it comes with us until she agrees it is actually cold. This is only if it's dry though - if it's raining coat goes on, no arguments (though to be fair, she doesn't argue!). I remember we went out last winter, we got out the car and I asked her to put her coat on...

'I don't want to wear a coat'
'You'll get cold'
'I want to get cold' 😆

just wear the coat, otherwise the adult will end up carrying it

If i think there is a chance of hypothermia me other wise child, dont see why people male battles with children when they dont need too

Grandad was right: in cold weather children need coats on and they need to be zipped up.

But please explain scientifically why a child has to wear a coat, what will actually happen if they dont

why dont you do your research?
being cold makes you more susceptible to falling ill

Of course you can get ill from being cold... its called Hypothermia. However not wearing a coat in October isn't likely to be that level. Being out all night in the rain in October in a tshirt maybe. The initial symptoms are shivering and lips going blue.

By Primary age a child should be able to tell if they are shivering they need an extra layer on.

If we are not speaking of hypothermia levels then I very much doubt this, same as you wont catch a cold from having wet hair or swimming in the rain

no but it lowers your resistance

I imagine the coat went on and off all day.

Depends on so many factors, age being one of them. Also, what was the child wearing underneath? Just a t-shirt? Jumper? Was the child sick? Just been running around?

How cold was it where you were yesterday? Was It really coat weather? It was about 12° and sunny where I was. Ended up taking a jacket for my 9 year old to wear on top of layers, but it was his decision whether to wear it, I wouldn't have forced him, despite feeling the chill myself.

You would have to be exposed to a virus to get ill. Not wearing a coat won't make a child fall ill. If they are freezing and exposed to a virus (unlikely if they are outside!) then being cold might very slightly increase the risk of catching it but if a child is playing outside or walking somewhere outside then catching a virus is highly unlikely.
They are far more likely to get ill warm inside amongst others than cold and outside.

Hypothermia is a different level of cold. I would be concerned about a small child/baby not wearing a coat if it's freezing as they struggle to regulate their temperature, but an older child is active, they move around, they know if they feel cold. They're not going to get hypothermia in the UK in October by not wearing a coat! Being out in the fresh air is good for kids.
Coat obsessives drive me mad. Let your child make their own decisions!

We once had a parent complain to the school that they were keeping water bottles outside in cold weather during playtime, as the kids were being forced to drink water that was too cold and would give them a cough! The mind boggles!
In the end the bottles were moved inside so the children couldn't easily access them during play, all because of this one cold fearing parent.

The coat fight is self fulfilling as well - the only angry, shivering, coat-refusing children I've ever seen are those whose parents have made body temperature a battle ground and therefore they would the freeze rather than admit they're cold.

Kids who are allowed to take their coat if they are warm will usually not have a problem with putting one on when they're cold.

child can make that decision generally - they’ll put it on if they’re cold.