Who decides when a child needs a coat on?

[girlfriend44]

Waiting for the bus today. There was a child with his grandad.
The grandad wanted him to put his coat on, but he didnt want it on

An ongoing bottle ensued between the two. The mum was there as well with other children but didnt get involved.
The coat went on, then it was flung to the floor.
Grandad was met with much opposition from the child who didnt want the coat on.
Eventually grandad won, the coat went on and stayed on.
I heard the grandad say come on your not with your mum now you know, your with me,.This implied to me he was stronger than than the mum and he knew it.

It got me thinking though, who decides when a coat goes on?
Should the boy hace had the choice or was grandad right?

I’m assuming this is a joke…

Mine never wore coats at school and they rarely wear coats now. We only need the heating on in deep mid winter. I think they just have thick blood 😂. Some people just don’t feel the cold.

I think key stage 1 you need to try and get the coat on, but over 7/8 they are old enough to feel the cold and decide!

Unless it's pouring rain and they would be soaked for nursery, or start turning blue, it's not a battle I would fight.

It's a perfect example where natural consequences are felt immediately, 90% of the time they get cold and ask for their jacket 10 min down the road.
Sometimes they don't, and I truly think they just aren't cold.

I was the child who never wanted a coat on. I was just always warm, and even as an adult, I don't own a winter coat! The most dressed I get is an extra t-shirt beneath a jumper and a scarf in winter 😂

I think it very much depends on the age of the kid. For a toddler/young child it's non-negotiable. I would not be making a 10 year old wear a coat. I'd bring it (well make them carry it anyway) and getting cold would be the natural consequence.

Rain is different and I would enforce a coat. Kids aren't stupid. If they're cold, it won't be long before they're asking for a coat.

Why would it be non negotiable for a toddler? There is no safety issue, both my 2 yo and 3 yo can tell me when they're cold 🤷

I’ve always been a naturally very hot person, I always feel hot whatever the weather, have been known to drive in Winter with car windows open/air con on, etc.

My eldest is exactly the same. Of course he has a warm Winter coat, but he’s like me- once we start walking we both often take them back off and carry them. No biggie- I understand how hot he feels.

Conversely, I know many who always feel cold who would probably be horrified seeing him without his coat on 🙈😂

I hate seeing parents force coats and hats on their kids. Let them make their own decisions, if they're cold they will put it on.
And I can't believe in 2025 people still think you can catch a cold from being cold.

Well it would depend on the weather for me. If it was like 1 degree, I'd enforce the coat, or if it was snowy. I wouldn't on a slightly chilly but not freezing autumn day. If I noticed red fingers I would put the coat on as it's an early sign of frostbite. And if they were out for an extended time, I'd insist upon the coat.

Tbh I'm thinking of my 16 month old who I don't think has the capacity or ability to let me know yet if she wants a coat!

Unless it's raining quite a lot or very very cold, if they're old enough to protest, child decides. It's not worth an argument. No harm will come to them for feeling the cold before they decide to put their coat on. My 3 year old refuses a coat all the time, what happens is she spends about 5 mins in the cold, realises putting her coat on is a good idea, then puts it on.

Once old enough to remove the coat, they're old enough to decide.

It is my job as the parent to provide things to keep them safe and healthy, it's up to them whether they take it.

So I always take their coat with me (until about age 9 when they can decide, after discussion) but then they can choose whether to wear it. I've not had a hypothermic child yet.

I do have a child with PDA though so I find natural consequences the best.

i never force costs on either of my kids , why? Carry it with you or bung it under the pram

it’s not lazy parenting , it respects my son runs, skips and wiggles and is a totally different temperature to me , why make a child over heat and sweat? Often kids have more layers like vests t shirts etc
If they have misjudged it and are cold 5 mins later offer them the coat

the grandad in this senario sounds a nightmare and overriding his daughter is totally disrespectful , it’s almost as if he is more invested in winning the power play than concern for the child’s warmth

That's not true, the Netherlands is similar to what you describe.

its 2025 !!!!
And we have been through Covid and yet there are still utter morons who believe you can become unwell via damp or cold

I give up …

Explain to me how being cold makes you Ill.

Life is way to short to force coats on kids

I tell my kids to put a coat on if it's cold but if they refuse (they usually wouldn't dare), then they go without and can get cold. I certainly won't be carrying it, just as I don't carry book bags, PE kit, jumpers or any other stuff.

Ah yes the good old coat battle. Youngest dc has only just (in the last 12 months) started wearing his coat reliably in cold weather. He's 17 🤣. He just never felt the cold as a child.

I encourage my 4yo to wear a coat when I think he’ll be cold but ultimately I leave it up to him.

I think a parents job is to mitigate the risk of hyperthermia as children are at higher risk, and less able to notice the signs of being cold, and take appropriate action

But I dont know how cold it was where you are or if it was damp or what other layers he had on.

My ds with autism wouldnt wear a coat ever, but he did tolerate a base layer.

This ^
So in this house it’s me.

if the kid is cold, they will wear the coat

kids are often hot

The parent. No coat no outing. It comes straight on. If too warm we layer down and vice versa. I don’t get the whole not worth getting into an argument … why does it even get to that point. Why are you letting children dictate situations regarding their welfare. It’s all about creating good habits and getting them to come around to the idea that we do certain things because we have to or there are consequences.

We brush our teeth every day twice otherwise they rot.
We have our food at the table so we don’t make a mess on the couch. Clean home is a happy home.
We wear out jacket/coat so we can stay out for longer because it keeps us warm.

I would like to know this too

Nope it’s not. Same for Scandi countries. Kids everywhere are appropriately dressed for weather.

I remember DC’s reception class sending out reminders about what was an appropriate jacket to wear etc which boggled my mind. Why on earth do parents need to be told or reminded their child needs a waterproof jacket for outdoor play in autumn ??? The same for winter coats and P.E jackets.

Surely It’s obvious @CarpetKnees meant roughly 3yo, 6yo or 9yo etc. Not when their next birthday is! “How old” as a question in this context (ie an observation about a child not known to you) is clearly seeking an approximate answer not precise.