To not allow 14 y/o go camping with friends no adults

[steadyinvolvement]

My son’s friends have been going camping together for years without adults and I’ve always said no. I’m talking in fields locally sometimes on near a local area forest where people have literally gone missing. But im the only one who doesnt allow it. I feel really bad and also like im crazy.

Today he’s asked again this time the kids are going to a field in the Lake District about 50 minutes from us, I have no idea if there would be signal and it just seems so insane to me. But out of a group of 9 boys I’m the only parent who says no!

I thought it was illegal to leave an under 16 overnight without an adult? Or have I misunderstood?

Scary thought. Immediately made me think of this story. Boy found dead at makeshift Cumbrian campsite is named - BBC News

Well, for a start, there's a huge breadth of experiences between sitting at home looking at screens and wild camping with no adults an hour from home at the age of 14 for the first time. Not least, the DoE which isn't completely unsupervised.

This seems nuts that all these parents allow it. If his friends are nice kids, I’d consider if I could go and camp nearby so he can go, but the friends may all hate that too.

Definitely sign him up for the D of E. The rest of this is rubbish. Camping without adults in November is not necessarily wholesome, kids can get up to a lot, and it’s too unsupervised. What if their idea of wholesome fun is climbing without a rope or equipment because who needs a rope at 14? It’s hardly off for a couple of hours bike ride.

I think this kind of independence is really good for boys that age. It makes them feel empowered and confident.

There is no reason that kids that age are unable to manage the camping aspects of a trip like that. Kids younger than 14 were managing camping activities a few generations ago so I wouldn't worry about that element.

Ultimately I think this is the kind of activity that allows kids to really grow and be resilient problem solvers and mature. I'd be thrilled to ave my son have friends who did this kind of trip.

Obviously if you suspect it's a drinking/drugs event or something like that it's a differernt story.

But for DofE kids do unsupervised camping? So...?

Yes, you have misunderstood.

They can drive at 16, have sex, leave home to live alone, and be employed. One hopes they'd have been left alone without an adult some time before that.

It seems wrong to say yes as you wouldn’t leave a 14yr at Home overnight with no adults

so to allow to sleep in the open where anyone could attack /hurt them - to me seems insane

let alone doing it when 12

yes kids walk to school on own but that very diff from spending the night outside with no Adults

If he was 16 or 17, maybe. But 14 is definitely too young, especially almost an hour away from home.

NSPCC guidelines state an under 16 year old is unlikely to be mature enough to be left alone overnight. It may not be illegal. But if something happened to said under 16, the police would take a very dim view and the parents / caregivers could be prosecuted.

I agree with you op. I’m so surprised parents allow this these days. Back in the day, yes.

I have a 15 year old who is pretty sensible but over the last year or so, a fair few of his friends have been experimenting with drinking and smoking weed etc.
Maybe these are a bunch of particularly wholesome boys but it seems likely that there may be some drinking etc. and I would worry if there was no adult nearby just in case something went wrong.
I would possibly allow it but not an hour away in November with no phone signal.

Our oldest just turned 15 been doing camping with mates for a good couple of years, quite often we will pop by with some goodies just to check there ok about 30mins away or other parents will. There always having fun larking about in the trees etc..I would much rather that than standing in parks and street corners drinking, fighting etc because there bored

• Have they got suitable equipment for the weather conditions?
• Do they know how to use it properly? (Eg not using a stove in a tent)
• Will they have signal?
• Will an adult be on hand to rescue them if required?

I wouldn't be happy with this at this time of year tbh. Summer maybe. Realistically the worse that will happen is they will be cold, wet and miserable, but people do stupid things in those conditions.

It depends a bit on the child. Mine went camping with friends at 16 and possibly 15(can’t remember exactly). As long as I was happy with the group and arrangements I would probably let them go at 14.

This depends on your son. You know him. His friends, how well you know them. Their parents, just as important, how well you know them. It depends on how they would respond to peril predictable and unpredictable. If things went awry 21st century parenting mores would have you harshly judged. If things went well he would be experiencing a resourcefulness and capability few British children his age are exposed to. You can’t be an adventurous child as an adult. However, many children don’t respond to danger, whether from peer pressure, environmental challenge or 3rd party threats as well as adults.

They died in a car crash though. It wasn't really anything to do with camping. And they were 17/18

Really? What happened?

Or are you talking about the boys who sadly crashed their car? Nothing to do with camping.

A group of 14 yos won't be driving themselves so that risk is not there.

🤣

I can’t believe the other parents are being so irresponsible!!!!

I think it depends on the child... my first thought would be not till 16 however I think my son may be OK at 14 as he's a very sensible lad. And if I knew the other boys and they were similarly sensible.. I think it's quite a wholesome activity.
I'd demand it was within 30 mins away and there was mobile phone signal though.
My son camped at 11 in a field with his mates unsupervised however it was land owned by a parent within walking distance of their home. They had mobile phones with signal.

What do you think might happen to them?

Jump in a lake, cramp up and drown. Jump off a bridge into a river and break something. Try to use petrol to start a fire and pass out from the fumes and die (like the boy in my previous link) or end up hospitalised (like the other boys in the link). Get drunk, pass out, and choke on vomit. Get drunk, pass out, and succumb to hypothermia. Experiment with drugs, pass out... Well, you get the picture.

I have a 14 year old. Idk, I think in a group of 9, if I knew the others and they were experienced in camping and generally sensible, in an area with good mobile coverage, I MIGHT allow it.

They can do all those things whether or not they are camping, though.