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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not allow 14 y/o go camping with friends no adults

129 replies

steadyinvolvement · 30/10/2025 14:54

My son’s friends have been going camping together for years without adults and I’ve always said no. I’m talking in fields locally sometimes on near a local area forest where people have literally gone missing. But im the only one who doesnt allow it. I feel really bad and also like im crazy.

Today he’s asked again this time the kids are going to a field in the Lake District about 50 minutes from us, I have no idea if there would be signal and it just seems so insane to me. But out of a group of 9 boys I’m the only parent who says no!

OP posts:
Rose213 · 30/10/2025 18:17

I think you should let him go. As long as he has no additional needs and is relatively sensible I think you are just robbing him of experiences and friends tbh.

ForPlumReader · 30/10/2025 18:32

ScaryM0nster · 30/10/2025 15:21

It might help to think about things from different angles:

eg.

If not now, then when? If not this, then what? If not with them, then with who?

It can help calibrate your thinking. So if this one, you’re thinking he's too young now. In four years time he’ll be 18 and can do it anyway. What does he need to learn life skills wise to hit the point where it would be ok. What stepping stone activities might be suitable? What check in arrangements might help?

(And tough as it is, on the going missing front, a group of teenage boys is about as low risk as it gets unless their plan is to play extreme hide and seek. A significant proportion of people who go missing in woodlands do so deliberately of their own accord rather than it being a third party).

Totally agree. I'd let mine if it was with a reasonable size group of close friends.

NerrSnerr · 30/10/2025 18:37

Netcurtainnelly · 30/10/2025 16:06

No way. A couple of years ago 4 boys teenagers went camping and they all died.
One of the boys mothers didnt even know he was camping, he'd lied to her.

To be fair they died in a car- not actually camping and I assume this group of 14 year old boys are not driving there.

BauhausOfEliott · 30/10/2025 18:39

Don’t kids camp unsupervised when they do Duke of Edinburgh Award exhibitions?

If the other kids have been doing this for a couple of years without anything bad happening, I’d let him go. They obviously know what they’re doing camping-wise and as a group of nine teenage boys they are not going to be at risk from other people.

StewkeyBlue · 30/10/2025 18:40

‘A field in the Lake District’ ?

So presumably they have permission from the field owner?

In which case if it is near the farm I would feel better about it.

If it is wild camping in the Lakes above the highest intake wall, definitely not. The Mountain Rescue Teams are run ragged atm with young wild campers in high winds snd rain.

If in a field right by a farm and with permission; yes
If in someone’s out of season orchard by the farm: yes

Out in the wilds / forests : no. And mostly it isn’t legal without the landowners permission.

I think YHA campsites allow 14 year olds?

NerrSnerr · 30/10/2025 18:41

If they were a decent group of boys I would consider it. Sounds like these boys have been doing it a long time without incident.

Pharazon · 30/10/2025 18:42

How far from a house? Mine have been doing this since about 11 but always 5 minutes from the nearest friend or relatives house. They spend half the summer camping out at night.

StewkeyBlue · 30/10/2025 18:43

Don’t kids camp unsupervised when they do Duke of Edinburgh Award exhibitions?

Bronze, there is an adult there overnight.

Silver is for 15+
Gold 16+

Also, they use campsites.

Swallows and Amazons really couldn’t happen these days, could it?!

BauhausOfEliott · 30/10/2025 18:46

MigGirl · 30/10/2025 17:18

Explorers scouts are allowed to do this from 14, but they will have been camping regularly for years with leaders before this, they would be camping on a scouts campsite (so someone would be close to check on them). A leader has to give them permission to do so first, so only those who are experienced, know what they are doing and can be trusted are allowed to.

I wouldn't let them just randomly camp anywhere. Wild camping is also illegal in the UK, which is odd as DD did it as part of her Gold DfE.

Wild camping is legal in Scotland - but there’s also right to roam there, so you can walk and camp on land without the landowner’s permission.

If your DD was in England, I suspect your DD was actually camping on land where the landowner gives permission. So, wild in the sense that there are no facilities, but on land where the owner has given permission for people (either individually or just in general) to hike and camp.

Nestingbirds · 30/10/2025 18:58

No, on someone’s land somewhere where a parent can loosely check yes, but not on their own.

In your place I would be organising something very cool, maybe a theme park or similar for the day.

Sometimes as parents we do have just to follow our own instincts. These things are always fine until they are not.

BunnyLake · 30/10/2025 19:00

Thankfully having to do CCF and DoE at school put paid to my kids ever wanting to go camping for fun. It’s a dilemma though isn’t it when you’re the only one saying no. My instinct would have been a no as well but I would have been feeling bad just like you. When do they want to go, this is a terrible time of year to do it and I’d say no to that at least with a view to him going in the spring/summer.

Freeme31 · 30/10/2025 19:01

The camping happened near us and the local community hated it, they would wander the streets, leave a mess. Dog walkers couldn’t take their dog for s walk in the woods a gang of 9 is intimidating. Police would be called, Your a parent for a reason not their friend.

FKAT · 30/10/2025 19:02

I think it very much depends on the 14yos and what the plan b is. 50 minutes away wild camping near lakes and mountains, probably not. 50 minutes away in a pre-booked campsite no problem.

Morningsleepin · 30/10/2025 19:07

ScaryM0nster · 30/10/2025 15:21

It might help to think about things from different angles:

eg.

If not now, then when? If not this, then what? If not with them, then with who?

It can help calibrate your thinking. So if this one, you’re thinking he's too young now. In four years time he’ll be 18 and can do it anyway. What does he need to learn life skills wise to hit the point where it would be ok. What stepping stone activities might be suitable? What check in arrangements might help?

(And tough as it is, on the going missing front, a group of teenage boys is about as low risk as it gets unless their plan is to play extreme hide and seek. A significant proportion of people who go missing in woodlands do so deliberately of their own accord rather than it being a third party).

I agree with this. He will need to learn to deal with a lot before you release him into the wilderness of being adult.

Kindnesscostsnothingtryit · 30/10/2025 19:12

I've had exact same argument with mine who wanted to camp in remote areas. We're on edge of LD so i know how poor signal can be. I've always just said a hard no and I wasn't popular but he just blamed me to his mates and that was that. Hes now 16 and has been camping a couple of times this year but only in fields adjacent to friends' gardens ironically!!!! They definitely try us!!

DrCoconut · 30/10/2025 19:19

MigGirl · 30/10/2025 17:18

Explorers scouts are allowed to do this from 14, but they will have been camping regularly for years with leaders before this, they would be camping on a scouts campsite (so someone would be close to check on them). A leader has to give them permission to do so first, so only those who are experienced, know what they are doing and can be trusted are allowed to.

I wouldn't let them just randomly camp anywhere. Wild camping is also illegal in the UK, which is odd as DD did it as part of her Gold DfE.

My DS goes camping with explorers but there are definitely adults in the vicinity all the time even if the kids are largely self managing on camp. That seems like a good compromise to me. No way I'd allow unsupervised camping at 14 and I'd guess the law may take a dim view of it, especially if anything went wrong.

Beammeupbob · 30/10/2025 19:19

Netcurtainnelly · 30/10/2025 16:06

No way. A couple of years ago 4 boys teenagers went camping and they all died.
One of the boys mothers didnt even know he was camping, he'd lied to her.

A few years ago some little girls went to a Taylor Swift holiday club and died. Awful terrible things happen but thankfully that's not the norm. I would let him go. You say these other kids have been camping together for a while so they're obviously sensible kids.

mindutopia · 30/10/2025 19:26

Whose field is it though? You can’t just go camping in someone’s field. 🤷🏻‍♀️ So it will either need to belong to someone (who I assume is around) or it’s a campsite and there has to be and adult somewhere.

That said, my dd is 12 and she has camped in our field with friends or in the neighbours’ field. Obviously, adults were within walking distance (5 minutes or so away). It’s been fine. We do trust her and she’s sensible and it’s far from anywhere the public would have access to. But I wouldn’t drop her off 50 minutes away by herself to squat on someone’s land, no.

Happyhappyday · 30/10/2025 19:47

I definitely did at 16/17 and more like a 2 hour drive into proper wilderness. We did a multi day kayak trip at 16/17. We were very outdoorsy though and did not drink.

CurlewKate · 30/10/2025 19:51

Netcurtainnelly · 30/10/2025 16:06

No way. A couple of years ago 4 boys teenagers went camping and they all died.
One of the boys mothers didnt even know he was camping, he'd lied to her.

Could you explain why you think the appalling tragedy of 4 boys dying in a car crash is remotely relevant to this thread?

Zippedydodah · 30/10/2025 21:33

How are these boys getting to where they’re camping?
My DCs did camp out from about 12 years old but it was on our land and a discreet eye was kept on them. They were out of sight but within a few minutes walk of the house so very different to being 50 minutes away with possibly no phone signal or within reach of help.
I certainly wouldn’t have allowed mine to do this.

FunMustard · 30/10/2025 21:35

I have an extremely capable and sensible 14 year old, and absolutely no way.

TheOccupier · 30/10/2025 22:30

What a sad thread. A teenage boy wants to do wholesome outdoor things with his friends instead of sitting at home looking at screens and his mum won't let him. Of course he should go camping. Sign him up for Duke of Edinburgh award as well, he sounds like a great candidate!

Beamur · 30/10/2025 23:16

I think 14 year olds are capable of camping without adults.
But, wild camping in November is not for the inexperienced.
I'd say it has to be either on a proper site (in which case they might insist on an adult present) or somewhere with permission and they have to be somewhere with mobile phone signal in case of an emergency. That would be the non negotiables for me.
Plus at least one of them knows basic first aid.

thecatfromneptune · 30/10/2025 23:20

14 too young. As others say, it would be a 16+ activity for me. If it was down the road or in a garden no probs, but 50 mins away in an unfamiliar area…people still do often get into serious trouble in wilder places like the Lake District, and 14 is too young to be relied upon in an emergency. It’s not just your son, it’s that you don’t know what the other kids are going to do or how reckless they could be. Prime age for trying out drinking and stupid stuff like swimming in unwise places too! Would be a hard no from me.