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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not allow 14 y/o go camping with friends no adults

129 replies

steadyinvolvement · 30/10/2025 14:54

My son’s friends have been going camping together for years without adults and I’ve always said no. I’m talking in fields locally sometimes on near a local area forest where people have literally gone missing. But im the only one who doesnt allow it. I feel really bad and also like im crazy.

Today he’s asked again this time the kids are going to a field in the Lake District about 50 minutes from us, I have no idea if there would be signal and it just seems so insane to me. But out of a group of 9 boys I’m the only parent who says no!

OP posts:
Zov · 30/10/2025 16:05

100% absolutely no WAY.

Netcurtainnelly · 30/10/2025 16:06

No way. A couple of years ago 4 boys teenagers went camping and they all died.
One of the boys mothers didnt even know he was camping, he'd lied to her.

Theroadt · 30/10/2025 16:19

I would say min 16, but when my son & pal wanted to do this at age 16.5 (they wanted to do a long hike just the two of them & rough camp half way) the other parents refused. I thought that was babying both lads, frankly, but it’s a very cery common view ime. At age 14? No.

Sasha07 · 30/10/2025 16:19

If they're going to the Lake District, do they know there's rules regarding where they can camp? It's not allowed near lakes etc. I live a little closer to it than you seem to so sorry if I'm stating the obvious. As far as I know though, the ones who do risk it (I think a couple of people have been asked to move along if not above the highest wall etc) they usually leave by daybreak.

It's hard. Especially with boys. Then with boys who are established in what they get up to. I've always tried to be aware of who is going, how many are going, are they confident in themselves to know how to safely put a fire out (though that's not allowed, some will always ignore the rules) are they strong and will protect eachother if anything happens? Do you trust the kids to stay as a group and look out for eachother? All the lads in both groups have always been tall and strong, I didn't feel like they would be an easy target for anyone messing about.

I've been lucky with my son's. I know and have seen how protective and mature they are towards eachother. They've all grew up together. It didn't sit right but sometimes I wanted them to have the experience, I don't want them to be held back like I was. Lying to my mum as she would 100% not allow something. My son's always tells me where, who, what time they expect to be back and more importantly, if I text them, they have to reply. Maybe his first time should be closer to home though. For your nerves to settle and for him being closer should anything spook him/he didn't realise how freezing cold it gets, etc.

Gair · 30/10/2025 16:26

Netcurtainnelly · 30/10/2025 16:06

No way. A couple of years ago 4 boys teenagers went camping and they all died.
One of the boys mothers didnt even know he was camping, he'd lied to her.

The young men did not die because they were camping, they died in a car crash. Are you suggesting that no teenager be allowed to camp because 4 died tragically in a car crash during their trip? I imagine that the 14 year olds will not be driving to their chosen camping area! I will be less worried about my son camping (which he already has some skills in) than him driving tbh.

OP, is your child sensible? Are his friends sensible? How well do you know the other boys? Do you know the other parents? What is the procedure on these trips if there is a problem? Obviously, your child your decision, but there are much more concerning activities for 14 year old boys to be getting involved with than a camping trip. If the distance away is the issue on this occasion, then maybe ask if there can be a closer to home trip to help you feel comfortable for his first trip.

Letting go is very very hard, but if there are no particular red flags or other issues such as SEN or bullying in the group, then it's worth considering exactly why you do not want him to go. Best wishes.

Gair · 30/10/2025 16:28

Great advice and perspective from @Sasha07 !

madaboutpurple · 30/10/2025 16:28

In my opinion teenage boys are not as mature and as wise as teenage girls. If I was deciding it would be a no from me at that age. Would he be with older ones and drinking?

momtoboys · 30/10/2025 16:31

Not a chance we would let him go.

Coconutter24 · 30/10/2025 16:31

steadyinvolvement · 30/10/2025 15:12

16 feels right to me. These kids have been doing it since they were about 12.

Show quote history

Tbh have a 16 year old and no way would I allow it

Lucy5678 · 30/10/2025 16:37

Would I leave my 14 year old in my house alone overnight? Absolutely not. Would I leave him in my house with his mates overnight? Even less likely. So there is absolutely no way I’d allow camping with his mates a hour away unless there was a responsible adult or it was part of an organised activity like DoE or Scouts.

DarkPassenger1 · 30/10/2025 16:44

Torn on this.

As a 13yr old I was off doing this, we drank a lot, smoked a lot of weed, and much shenanigans was had. I remember a friend chucking an empty vodka bottle on the fire assuming it'd melt, it exploded and we were all so lucky we didn't get blinded by shards.

As a parent... would I let my 13yr old do this? No. I wouldn't. Not at 13yr. Maybe 14-15yr, with a chat beforehand about being safe, not drinking too much, looking out for friends, keeping their phone charged and contacting me if they need me.

FullOfMomsense · 30/10/2025 16:45

Kimura · 30/10/2025 15:38

Why would they want to camp in someone's garden when they've been out camping properly (the whole point of camping) for years?

Show quote history

Because one friend isn't allowed to go with them, so it might be a compromise? Or so OP can see if it's sensible enough to allow a local camp out. I don't think we need to gatekeep camping!

CurlyKoalie · 30/10/2025 16:52

Lucy5678 · 30/10/2025 16:37

Would I leave my 14 year old in my house alone overnight? Absolutely not. Would I leave him in my house with his mates overnight? Even less likely. So there is absolutely no way I’d allow camping with his mates a hour away unless there was a responsible adult or it was part of an organised activity like DoE or Scouts.

My thoughts exactly.
It all sounds wonderful if nothing dodgy happens.
Consider this scenario. Supposing the same group of 14 year olds were camping locally as part of a school or scout activity and the teachers/ scout leaders left them unsupervised overnight.
There would be uproar, cries of safeguarding concerns and quite rightly so.
What's the difference?
Parents have safeguarding responsibilities too.
Stand your ground OP.

AnneElliott · 30/10/2025 16:52

I allowed DS to camp with other scouts on the field where the scout hut is - with no adults at 14. But the scout leader checked on them before bed and then was there again in the morning. Just letting them go off all together at 14 would be a no.

CurlewKate · 30/10/2025 16:59

What are your concerns?

LlynTegid · 30/10/2025 17:03

Is it that all the other boys say the other parents are all OK, when perhaps they are not but are unwilling to say no. Stick to your guns OP.

SpidersAreShitheads · 30/10/2025 17:05

This is one of those things where there’s no right or wrong answer.

If you are comfortable with your 14 yr old doing this then great. But I think it’s a bit shitty to imply that OP is being overprotective or babying her son.

And even if she WAS considering it, camping in a remote area an hour from home isn’t the ideal way to start.

I think as PP have said, it’s fine unless it isn’t. And if it isn’t, I’m not sure 14 yr olds have the skills to deal with the situation. But I completely accept that some parents may be more relaxed.

NSPCC suggests children under 16 shouldn’t be left alone overnight and I think that’s a good bar to follow.

CosySeason · 30/10/2025 17:05

Not a chance would I allow this and I don’t care if anyone says I’m overprotective or spoiling their fun. My child does so many other great things with their friends but this would not be one of them.

Tangerinenets · 30/10/2025 17:06

No definitely not being unreasonable. 14 is too young g to be 50 minutes away without any adults. I can’t believe his friends have been allowed to do it for years, that’s wild .

Checkneck · 30/10/2025 17:15

Definitely stick to your guns OP. As you can see by the pole, the majority of us would say no in that situation. It would worry me that all of his friends parents said yes, because the type of parents that would be ok with it are usually the ones who don’t give two shits in general and would let there kids roam the street day and night without a care. There’ll likely be alcohol involved too and setting up a fire and at 14 they’re too immature.

You’ll get people on here arguing they was camping for a week on their own at 10! Aye, and you’re very lucky you’re here to tell the tail. There was a thread the other day about leaving a 15 year old alone for a week and most were saying no, but of course there were the ones (as above) saying it’s fine etc… it’s obviously not fine and they’d get prosecuted for neglect if something happened. My point is it’s all ok when it’s ok but things go wrong and that’s what you’re trying to protect them from.

ldnmusic87 · 30/10/2025 17:18

I would say no, but this would depend on what type of teen he was, and his friends.

MigGirl · 30/10/2025 17:18

Explorers scouts are allowed to do this from 14, but they will have been camping regularly for years with leaders before this, they would be camping on a scouts campsite (so someone would be close to check on them). A leader has to give them permission to do so first, so only those who are experienced, know what they are doing and can be trusted are allowed to.

I wouldn't let them just randomly camp anywhere. Wild camping is also illegal in the UK, which is odd as DD did it as part of her Gold DfE.

Brenda34 · 30/10/2025 17:32

There are 14 year olds and there are 14 tear olds. You know your DS and his friends.
I'd be tempted to say yes and stay in an air bnb fairly close by just in case - more for my own peace of mind than anything else.

Breathein · 30/10/2025 17:35

Absolutely not, not in a million years!

BriefEncountersOfTheThirdKind · 30/10/2025 17:42

I don't know about Scouts (they are likely the same) but older Guides can plan and run camps adjacent to their leader run Guide camps, so the leaders are really just on call and 14 year old Rangers can work on their permit to take girls away on their own with an adult within 30 mins on call....

So, yes, you've probably been a bit cautious if they have experience