Kids clubs and birthdays

[autumngirl714]

How do you approach children’s after school clubs when they clash with close family birthdays?

Do you let your child miss their club so the family can get together, or do you skip the celebration to keep to their usual routine?

In my family, we tend to miss the club, we’re quite a small family, so it feels important to make the effort and be there for birthdays. My sibling, though, always prioritises the clubs, even for milestone birthdays or the younger cousins, which I find a bit of a shame.

Curious how others balance it, do you think it’s fine to miss a week, or is keeping to the routine more important?

Miss the weekly club in my opinion, birthdays are important!

Might be different if an important match/performance was coming up though…

Can't the birthday celebration just be moved to a different day?

There’s clubs pretty much everyday between the cousins! I also don’t think a family member should have to celebrate their birthday on a different day because someone has cubs or swimming or something like that. It seems abit selfish to ask (at least I wouldn’t expect someone to do that for us!).

It's hard to say. We don't have a big family or many clubs so we do miss club on the rare occasion it's a clash. If I had a bigger local family I might have to accept that we can't all make every birthday.

I organise celebrations when I want and if people can’t make it then that’s fine -
I don’t work round other peoples kids clubs!

I guess I just don't see why it matters if someone has a birthday get-together on a Wednesday instead of Tuesday.

Pre-paid clubs would take priority for me.

I organise birthday celebrations precisely what suits my immediate family (partner and children)

if that works for extended family - great
if not - 🤷‍♀️ no biggie

How old are the children op?

So your issue is your sibling’s kids go to clubs on your kids’ birthdays?

It’s fine to miss them, if you want to, but she is NBU by still sending her kids to clubs.

Birthdays can be celebrated with family at weekends.

I am going to guess your child is an only child and considerably younger than siblings

Children all under 8. But the situation is the same for all our family members, even the grandparents. None of the clubs are competitive or in any teams. It’s just things like cubs or music club or swim practice etc.

Me and me parents have always made a massive effort on birthdays, it’s the may we’ve been brought up. We only have eachother, and my sibling. I for example am a single mum. When my sibling chooses to take her kids to swim practice in my children’s birthday it means it’s just me and the grandparents. I just think it’s a bit sad. I get we have different values though and I’ve never voiced it outside of this thread.

No I have 2 children and they’re all the same age, 2 older cousins and 2 younger ones.

Good! Keep it like that!

Just celebrate with cousins at the weekend. My child wouldn't want to miss a hobby.

Do you really think a cousins' birthday should take priority over a regularly booked, pre-paid and pre-organised activity?

That club attendee enjoys and likely wants to go

I would be celebrating with cousins at the weekend. The end.

It depends on the club. But my daughter would hate to miss a week of girlguiding as it might mean she doesn’t then meet the requirement to get the badge they’re working on that term

Never attempted to do anything for a birthday on a weekday beyond our immediate family. So no wouldnt expect someone to cancel a Wednesday club for a birthday tea. I'd just do it on the weekend.

Depends on the club & the child. Dance exam / comp coming up, would have been frowned upon to miss. DC would have then been anxious so probably would have avoided that. Football practice would be fine to miss.

Also probably depends on the celebration, one off chance to see a show / go somewhere really cool, probably miss, have cup cakes at auntie jeans, probably not miss.

I think it's unusual to have birthday parties for school age children after school - precisely because it's quite likely that they will have clubs etc.

If I was having a mid-week family party I would not expect people to drop pre-arranged plans (which includes clubs). If I really wanted everyone there, I would organise it at a weekend.

Sorry I would be celebrating with cousins and even the grandparents at the weekend or a convenient weekday.
I wouldn't want my children to miss clubs I have already paid for as like someone else has said, this could mean they miss out on getting a badge (cubs and scouts) or not having met the number of lessons for grading (karate).
Even if it's their birthday my children will still go to the club (and usually if they say something they will get sung to) and we do something when we have more time on a Saturday or Sunday.

Was your sibling brought up in a different way to you then?

I think "the way I've been brought up" if it means that you must drop everything because "family" is not a healthy dynamic. And what's wrong with your child just having their grandparents round (and presumably having a fuss made of them)?

Birthdays are celebrated on weekend evenings.
During the week nobody is available before 7pm the absolutely earliest (we all work), so would be pointless to do anything.

It’s not birthday parties as such. It’s just normal birthday cake with family.

Also I get we’re all of different opinions, that’s fine. But I don’t understand why SOME people need to have such a patronising tone in their replies. It’s just a discussion about my thoughts, we’re not saving lives!