To think this was overly vulgar of DH?

[Dockerty]

Our downstairs bathroom is at the end of the hallway and unfortunately faces the front door. DH is well aware of my bowel issues (chronic constipation) and if ever I feel the urge to go I really must go.

So I went to toilet last night and heard a knock at the door. I heard DH answer it and he then shouts:
”Dockerty, Dorothy is at the door for you - come on - snap it off”

I was mortified - baring in mind when you leave the bathroom it’s in full view of the front door. I was flustered, annoyed and embarrassed, flushed the toilet, opened the bathroom door and DH says to Dorothy “Get your gas mask out” and laughed. Dorothy smiled in a nervous kind of way. I said to her “sorry about that” meaning DH and she said “I can’t smell anything”.

Honestly I know it all sounds daft but how bloody childish to make a big thing out of someone’s toilet habits? WIBU to be pissed off at him?

This👏

It’s the behavior of a nasty little boy, not a full grown man.

My husband once said something similar and my "Dorothy" was less reticient and told him off. He was quite contrite and hasn't said anything like that since.

So silly and childish. If you have an upstairs bathroom, much better to make a dash for that.

I would have been furious, embarrassed and very upset.

Tell Dorothy and everyone else you know to text you bf they come over and your husbands an asshole.

Divorce him. It's an indication of him holding you in extreme contempt and disdain.

You deserve better. He's disgusting.

He could have just said to Dorothy, sorry nows not a good time could you pop back in half an hour.

I would be hard pressed to ever disrobe near or have sex with him again. Imagine what he is thinking about your other body parts/bodily functions?

That kind of sneering contempt (even when thinly disguised as jocularity) runs very, very deep.

That in my book would come out of an Old Balkan chauvinist but apparently the male weirdos are the same on each and every continent

I wouldn't say it was vulgar but I would say it was rude, disrespectful and an absolutely disgusting way to talk about your wife. What the heck?
This cannot be an isolated incident OP, you said he was horrible before but does he show this level of disrespect to you in other ways? I absolutely could not live with that.

He does not respect you, you've told him off before but he's chosen to ignore it. I couldn't put up with his childish insulting behaviour. Another manchild

Not even just funny, but actually hysterical?

You would seriously divorce your husband for making a joke like this? 🤣🤣🤣

There are probably a couple like that in one branch of my Balkan family. If the men in the rest of the family had tried that they wouldn't have survived the wrath of the aunties. (I once had the pleasure of seeing one of the aunties turning her SIL into a quivering wreck. He'd made the mistake of commenting on my poor command of the language. The last I recall, he practically wept: "I'm sorry! How was I to know she was born in the UK?")

The same could be said for the Scottish side of the family - which probably proves your point.

Yes, it's the funniest thing I've ever heard

You win the internet today 😂😂😂

Disgusting man ..does he often try to humiliate you

Perfect response.

No. Sorry. It was just a joke to convey what I imagined Dorothy would think of the situation.

It’s actually deeper than that. That’s the problem, it looks to be funny but it’s not, it shaming her and humiliating her in front of others and that makes him feel like he’s some big man but it doesn’t. It just makes him look like a fool. It’s a disgrace how men treat women, and I’ve seen the opposite but it’s mostly men. They’re just big ball bullies and they wonder why their wife’s want nothing to do with them. Oh, geez, hmmm, he treats me a piece of garbage. It’s horrible. I hope it changes for the next generation after me.

I’m sure this isn’t the only thing he humiliates her for but I didn’t say such thing. I’m just saying that he’s a bullie and trying to embarrass his wife about her bathroom habits which freaking so out of line it’s not funny. Where do you draw the line. When asked and pleaded to please not do that bc it embarrasses me and he continues in his big bravado voice. The fact that he even said something to his mother about it shows a deep disrespect on his part to her. You like men like that, you have fun. I’ll take a pass.

He wouldn't have been sleeping in my bed that night. He is disgusting.

Oh, bless you!

Obviously it's not the funniest thing I've ever heard. That would a drastic overreaction. Just as those calling for divorce is. It's not that deep. The op should tell him he was out of order, she doesn't like it etc etc and move on

Of course it’s not just men who treat women like that! It’s exactly the sort of thing I could see myself saying if this was my husband, and he would find it funny as well. Most people in the real world don’t have the bizarre views that people on Mumsnet seem to hold ablut men.

He was horrible, but using the downstairs loo for a poo when there are other people in the house is a bit grim OP, could you really not have gone upstairs? He might also have been grossed out or embarrassed that the neighbour might smell it.