To think this was overly vulgar of DH?

[Dockerty]

Our downstairs bathroom is at the end of the hallway and unfortunately faces the front door. DH is well aware of my bowel issues (chronic constipation) and if ever I feel the urge to go I really must go.

So I went to toilet last night and heard a knock at the door. I heard DH answer it and he then shouts:
”Dockerty, Dorothy is at the door for you - come on - snap it off”

I was mortified - baring in mind when you leave the bathroom it’s in full view of the front door. I was flustered, annoyed and embarrassed, flushed the toilet, opened the bathroom door and DH says to Dorothy “Get your gas mask out” and laughed. Dorothy smiled in a nervous kind of way. I said to her “sorry about that” meaning DH and she said “I can’t smell anything”.

Honestly I know it all sounds daft but how bloody childish to make a big thing out of someone’s toilet habits? WIBU to be pissed off at him?

He's an idiot.

Have you packed yr bag, got yr finances lined up and changed the locks yet, thats usually the default response on here! LTFB!!!!

I didn’t laugh out loud but I smiled

Has he always said stuff like this?

😂

Somebody needs a strong laxative in his tea.

That's horrible. What an arsehole.

Oh, there's nothing wrong with finding toilet humour funny. I quite often do. But it's about context. I'd make the 'snap it off' joke to my partner or my siblings if we were the only people present, but I wouldn't shout it to embarrass them in front of someone we didn't even know that well.

Exactly, as long as you know your audience.
I'm not comfortable with it, DH is aware that I don't have a sense of humour around toilet activities, he learned early in the relationship. 😆

Most decent men would have ushered her into the kitchen and put the kettle on or banged some pots to cover up where you were.That said you've nothing to be embarrassed about.

usual question from me. What does he bring to the party?

Wait! What?! Seriously, is that really you 'Dorothy'??

How long have you been married to that idiot?

If he was normal and he suddenly had a personality change, I wouldn't put up with it.

If he has always been like that, YABU to have married him in the first place

Honestly I’m not going to say leave him or not, that’s ultimately your decision. What I would say is you can take away the power from him, as he only does this because he knows it gets to you. He’s purposely trying to get you irritated, he might be telling himself he’s being played as opposed to rude. So I’d rather not give him the satisfaction of giving him the reaction he wants, so that eventually he’ll get bored of making those remarks. I think loads of men think toilet habits are an easy way to embarrass women and he’s playing into that rhetoric

🤣 It's funny cos it's true.

on the other hand, why exactly would anyone want to stay with someone who is showing them no respect, embarrassing them and making them feel awful?

Is that a normal situation in a relationship?

Some people have very low standards if they believe it's acceptable in any way. Having disagreements is one thing, being treated like dirt and humiliated another entirely.

It's tricky. The ideal is to just never get into a serious relationship with someone who humiliates you like this. In the dating phase you should bin off anyone you get any red flags from.

But once you are married with kids and shared finances etc it becomes a lot less clear cut. Is one comment enough to break up a marriage? Most would say no. But then what about two comments? 10? 50? Where do you draw the line and say enough is enough.

There's no obvious right answer imo.

I'd be livid!!

But they do because no matter how gross and lowdown and disrespectful the man, there are always women who will nevertheless go lower and service, sleep with, bear the children of, do the housework for and share their money with these disgusting creeps.

If men had to up their games in order to enjoy sex, domestic life and shared financial partnerships, perhaps they would. But they clearly don't as there are plenty of women with zero standards who will put up with them.

I agree. He was extremely vulgar and caused embarrassment, I'd find that hard to get over

However I would have gone upstairs to do a poo, even with an urgent one you generally have time to get to the loo. Downstairs lavatories, in the hall, near sitting rooms and the front door, are for wees only, the exception being if you have the place to yourself.

Never mind, it's all over now. Forgive him but don't be in.a hurry about it, let him know he was in the wrong.

there are enough posters on here proud of their "toilet humour" and calling everyone who doesn't find poo and farts hilarious "hyacinth bucket".
There's a thread in active right now.

so I am not sure it's fair to pretend that being gross and lowdown and disrespectful is a male thing. Some women "put up with it" simply because they are the same, and enjoy it.

I would be mortified. But I wouldn’t poo in the downstairs toilet. We have an upstairs only poo rule in our house but that’s mainly because the toilet is next to the kitchen.

😂

I'm sorry but Id find that hysterical. Apparently my sense of humour is in the minority then.

Most people who are fine with toilet humour don't use it to embarrass and humiliate others, though. That's the issue with what the OP's partner did.

It doesn't actually matter what type of humour it was - the problem is the motivation behind his behaviour. It would have been just as bad if he'd embarrassed her like that over something completely different.

👏 😂