Would you/have you spent hundreds on a prom dress?

[Dramatic]

My daughter is in year 11 and a lot of her friends have already started shopping or already bought their prom dresses. Some have spent hundreds (£350-£500) and their parents have actually taken out payment plans or loans to get them....this seems insane to me? Are shops just ripping people off? Just seems like a ridiculous amount of money for a dress to be worn for a couple of hours.

When I got my 18yo her prom dress we went to an ex display shop and paid around £50 for a gorgeous dress.

They might not say, but kids know.

I think it depends if your dd has finished growing yet. Most teens will need at least one evening dress. Taking out payment plans seems daft though, there are plenty of beautiful prom dresses on Vinted.

I paid £185 for a suit, decent shirt and silk tie for my ds, but all can be reworn for interviews, weddings etc.

As far as 'competition' goes I'd say at DDs school formal it was the other way about. Major kudos went to the cheapest finds like the fabulous £15 vinted gown. DD would have loved to have been able to get a cheaper dress to fit.

Thankfully the kids weren't sneery about the price of anyone's dress - they all looked fantastic - but I can see some adults can be a bit snotty and pious about anyone spending big money on it. Not a fan of that.

I'm from America, for my prom my boyfriend, friends and I decided to just go in clothes we already had to a local mini golf place. Let the herd go to school organised fun we had a great time!

Prom is vapid consumerism., people fall for it.

Absolutely not. I think that DD’s from ClubL or something like that and her shoes were new look. I’m sure the dress was about £35 she looked amazing. I don’t think any of the girls wore anything more fancy and that was at a private school

Dont spend a fortune - bear in mind, at our school everyone got bored at the formal prom after 2 hours, came home, got changed and went to after-prom party at someone's house which they all enjoyed a lot more.Same happened last year as well.
£80 dress from an online shop, more like an evening dress and £40 on a dress for 'after prom' party. Both can be worn again for an evening do or a party. Had nails done but did own hair and makeup.

because as above poster said, its an environmental nightmar, all plsatic tat destined for landfill. no one 'needs' any of that.

My sister did this for her daughter, I have a DD the same age. We hired one for £80, was an absolutely lovely dress. But I wasn't spending hundreds of pounds on a dress that was only going to be worn once.

My friend spent £400 on her daughter’s dress with the intention of reselling it, she trashed the dress. My DDs dress was £90 from Miss Selfridge in John Lewis 10 years ago.

No. My DS1 didn't attend a school that did prom. My DDs did, but thankfully they were quite happy that some of the local charity shops do a special event each spring where they put out their prom-style stuff. DD1 bought her dress at a charity shops, got her jacket second hand online, and bought her shoes new. DD2 bought her suit at a charity shop, she did garden work to earn the money for a £40 top hat to go with it, then later decided with her friends not to go, and they all wore their outfits to the cinema & bowling instead. For my DDs, I think the leaving day event was a much bigger 'key social event' and celebration of their hard work than prom - DD1 ended up leaving hers early and only about half her year went. I'm not sure my DS2's secondary does a prom, but I imagine he will be more the type to do something else.

I grew up in the US, went to multiple proms (I was a beard for a few guy friends) as well as not-prom gaming parties, and I find the British twist on it very, very strange. The US version is a tradition from some elite Universities of a taste of post-uni life come down to some high schools as a taste of post-high school adult life. That's why on so many US shows it's associated with having sex or ending up at an all night diner at 2am. I have work colleagues who are spending the large amounts discussed in this thread with the hair, nails and makeup professionally done their 12 year old's middle school prom, I've heard of others doing it at primary, and while I get it's just very different over here, I can't shake the idea that it's meant to be a taste of adult life and why is this the taste we would want them to aspire and see in their adult life.

Payment plans: if you need a payment plan for that level of dress then you can't afford it. It's hardly an essential. They can have a sensibly priced dress.

I agree, my 2 were at Private and the there was a real lack of peer pressure around expensive things (few exceptions to be fair). There was a LOT more bling at the local comps

Well in which case the pressure is from themselves not others which again I would say is a Parenting issue
If another girl hd wanted to Google DDs dress and then get upset at how much it cost that is nothing to do with us

Our local comp is rife with people trying to outdo each other. I wish the head would put his foot down.

No one needs to go on several long haul holidays a year but plenty of mumsnetters do by all accounts ,as I said I dont have daughters and my son refused to go to his prom, my youngest is disabled and whilst his special school does have proms it will be low key
But I can't see the problem if people have the money
This thread also has a lot of undertones of sneering at people who go do spend a lot for their child's proms.

Unheard of when I was at school in the 70s.
DS wore a suit for his Bachillerato presentation and after party in 2010.
Proms are just another American import most people could probably do without but feel forced into spending cash they haven't got to ensure their DCs fit in.

Agree. It says more about those people than anything else. Imagine not being comfortable with your own choices so you have to sneer at others.

My children are privately educated and , as with everything, there's a whole mixture in terms of expenditure. Just as there is at state schools I imagine.
If DD wants to spend a lot on a dress I shall let her because I can afford to and because she likes clothes and fashion. She's very creative and loved design and art and playing with colour and shape

DD bought one second hand for 70. We were prepared to pay for alterations but it actually fit like a glove. It was a vintage style dress. I paid for her hair to get done... 30 quid and she got some shoes from ASOS for 30 quid. I gave her 30 quid for some new makeup (which she is still using 18 months later) and she bought some vintage style jewellery at a charity shop.
She and her friends are quite arty and enjoy shopping around for unique items.
No lycra in sight 😂
Total spend 160 plus I gave her 20 quid to spend.
It's a state school in quite a naice catchment area and very few went overboard with limos etc.

As for the pps making out that prom-craziness critics are miserable fun-sponges...no-one's suggesting the kids shouldn't have a party and a celebration.

There's just no need to spend a grand on kitting out your daughter! Why would anyone do that when they will look lovely in an outfit costing less than a tenth of that amount? It can only be motivated by one-upmanship which is both unkind to other less affluent youngsters and pretty vulgar.

I'm just shocked that parents encourage extravagance and excess. You'd think they'd be the sensible ones - I could understand teenagers having crazy ideas.

Well yes, I am an odd puritan. And proud to admit it!

Ages a poster on MN said she set a £10 limit and got her daughter to choose a lovely dress on Ebay and there was a lot of choice. I got a gorgeous dress a couple of years ago for £3 on Vinted so a cheap dress can be done. Also some charity shops have Prom dress sections.

Only if you buy into the hype. Ridiculous.

My daughter bought her dress and shoes on Vinted for a total of about £20. She's only ever worn them once. Other girls at the event spent hundreds.

I have no problem spending money, but I prefer doing stuff to buying stuff