To think the saying 'you lose them how you got them' is 100% correct?

[TaylorNation1998]

I have repeatedly seen throughout my life that no matter how in love two people seem, whenever a man or woman leaves their spouse to be with someone else they always, always end up leaving that person in a similar way. Aibu or is this just so inevitable with these types that it is basically a fact that once a cheat, always a cheat?

I don’t think it’s an inevitability. The happiest couple I know got together via an affair. It’s been 14 years now and they’re still like love sick teenagers.

@TaylorNation1998I don’t mind you asking but not sure my answer is very interesting!
I don’t know really? He is very doting still (after 17 years!) and his love for me feels very safe & secure.
There’s that theory that in a male/female relationship, it works best if the man loves the woman a bit more than she loves him?
That’s definitely how you’d describe us, I do love him very much but I think we’d both say he loved me more!

I'm not an idiot though and have watched so many friends go through hell, sometimes with partners who I thought were 100% reliable!

I was going to say this. If the man feels he has upgraded then he will make more of an effort to keep the new woman happy and keep her in general. A lot of men end up fathering kids or getting married to the woman that happens to be in their life at the time who pushes for these things without them being ‘the one’.

When they discover someone they perceive to be ‘the one’ it holds more significance for them, particularly if they are unhappy or dissatisfied with the daily grind.
(a lot of men also like to rewrite history and pretend to themselves they had no agency whatsoever and went along with the above scenarios bc they were forced into it and were never happy 🙄)

They offer them a ‘way out’ so the new woman is also viewed to be a saviour type.

People are not robots that are programmed to do everything the same, so no i do not think people are that predictable and I really find people that announce ''this scenario is 100% exactly the way every single man or women will do something'' shows an incredibly narrow view on the world, do you honestly think everyone is the same, really?

How I got him: fell in love aged 18. Married. 3 kids. A lifetime of adventures together.

How I lost him: He left me for a woman who lives near the golf course.

💁

I suppose your thingy would apply if he then leaves her for another woman who lives near some sort of sports facility. Still wouldn't really apply to me though...

I had two serious relationships that ended with them cheating. They both eventually did the same to the new partners. That is just my experience, and there will be exceptions, but I do think ‘once a cheat, always a cheat’.