Feminism sold a lie - Women, today, are worse off than ever

[ConservativeC2]

Listening to the women I work with, it's been interesting to hear their views about feminism and they are not happy. We are all millennial age so not too young, not too old and I keep hearing that it's the millennial generation of women that have absolutely lost out the most.

I think feminism initially promoted some idea of independence, equality and choice. Phrases like 'men hold all the money and power' at the time were very emotive whilst not entirely true. The correct statement then (and still now) is some men hold all the money and power. Most men back in the 50s-70s worked very long hours and spent pretty much all their money on their family. It was hard for everyone, but I think women were more empowered then than now.

In contrast to today, most of the women my age have to work. Whilst feminism promotes choice, most of them do not actually have a choice today. Most men today do not earn enough to run a household which means most women have to work. The worst part is they still do a larger share of the domestic work and childcare. So I think women now have it worse than ever - it's not just me, my female colleagues feel the same way. They've come to point in life where they want to start a family but they know they will have to come back to work.

Now it's all to do with feminism. There are other factors which has driven up the cost of living (inflation, property prices, profit extraction from multinational corporates etc).

Unfortunately I didn’t have a fucking crystal ball and most women don’t know how bad it’s going to be until the children actually arrive

How can anyone say equality has been bad for women? Who could look at their teenage daughter and hope they don’t get an education; have the right to buy their own home; leave a bad marriage; earn the same as a man doing their job; be protected from sexual harassment at work and sexual violence at home.

who could tell a little girl she shouldn’t dream of being a doctor; or a pilot; or a police officer; or a coder; or a DJ; or a high court judge.

OP you are nuts

...Your grandma is your only ancestor?

So your version of feminism is a man needs to be a bank?

And men's only choice is to be a cash cow? So women can stay home and play house?

Yes yes yes

Well you’re not handcuffed to him for life, what steps are you taking to address these issues? If you’re going to roll over and take it, a crystal ball wouldn’t save you in the first place.

You. Dont. Want. To. Work???

So you're lazy?

Really?

No clues at all?

Yes let’s blame the woman and not the entitled men!!!
We need to stop saying well the woman needs to choose better and starting saying the men need to do better!!!

I see your brand of feminism assumes that women want to have children…

And by leaving him the she be doing just as much bloody work without the income he brings. How does improve matters?

Of course pink jobs are massively easier now. Washing machines. Tumble driers, dishwashers. Air friers, microwaves. Childminders are now not only for the super rich like on Mary Poppins. Thr government even funds a lot of it to make it accessible to us.
Think that past poster and you have forgot about those things when trying to make that argument

I read she didn't want to work AND do all the other stuff

How would I know what he would be like as a father before he became a father??? Why is it my fault he doesn’t pull his weight???

I have a problem with the idea that "feminism is about choice" - as if it were a movement started to afford extra privilege to women.

I see it as being a movement of equality - women should have the same opportunities as men. Feminism hasn't "made" women work (if we must have an ism for that, try capitalism!), but has ensured where we do work we are paid and at a more equal rate.

I would personally much rather live now with my life, I think I am much freer than women historically. I don't always love the commute or office politics, and the juggling of home and work can be a challenge - but financial independence is an exceptional privilege and one denied to a lot of women previously.

This line may excuse the first child born, in general not saying you, but if a man is so useless why keep on having them?

my grandmother was super intelligent, but left school at 14.

i often think of the huge waste - all those super sharp women who could lead companies, lead countries, make scientific break throughs, make huge contributions to the economy and society just sitting at home.

they had children in their early twenties and were often empty nesters in their forties. Years stretching ahead. No options.

And let's not forget that it remained legal for a man to force his wife to have sex until 1991. OP might even have been born by then.

I agree OP that women have it tough but I don't agree they have it harder relative to earlier generations. The difference is of reality v expectation. I was raised by a feminist mother and grandmother who told me how lucky I was to be educated and how I could have it all. They had never really contemplated a different life to the one they had until times changed and they saw a different future for me. It turns out it was all bollocks, I absolutely couldn't have it all without doing it all. I realise now that their version of feminism was predicated on a class system, they envisaged me having a glittering career marrying a wealthy man all with the support of a low paid childminder and housekeeper. It never occurred to them how feminism looked to the childminder or the housekeeper.

But is appears women are only useful to care for the home and children, then grandchildren but also men are to work to financially pay for it all and have to equally care for children and the home where women dont have to work and only do half of it

seems like the dark ages to me

Sorry - I have read your post three times and still don’t understand it! Must be passed my bedtime🤣

But what you consider “average” is actually massively affluent. Back in the “good old days” you’re talking about people didn’t really eat out ( maybe as a special treat a couple of times a year), they wouldn’t have had 2 cars, or holidays ( maybe a week camping in the uk), or phones, streaming services, Amazon prime or frequent primary hauls. I’ve sas smaller and more constrained.

Plus all the other stuff amount men owning us and having no autonomy, for example my mum was 19 years old, living independently and her brother had to sing for her moped because as a women she couldn’t have credit in her own name. Life may be hard (it always was) but at least we are no longer voiceless chattels.

That's ok I cant keep up with the 50 000 different ways people define feminism so I dont get it either

Thats not everyone's experience though. My mam was born in 1926, she left school at 12 to take care of her ailing aunt. When her aunt died she did a secretarial course and got a job she loved. She married at 20, had to leave the job (that was the rule) and had a baby every year until my father died. She had no mortgage because they couldn't afford one, they rented a tiny council house, they never had a penny to spare despite my dad working long hours. There was no pension, no retirement, no house on the coast. My dd is 20, is in college and likely has a brilliant career ahead of her. Maybe she will marry, maybe she won't, maybe she will struggle to buy a house, who knows, but her future is in her own hands.

Most men back in the 50s-70s worked very long hours and spent pretty much all their money on their family. It was hard for everyone, but I think women were more empowered then than now.

Could I ask you to elaborate on this point please? As there are many reasons why I would disagree (women being unable to access their own contraception without a husbands signature, women being unable to open their own line of credit, marital rate not being recognised as a crime until 1995 for example) I'd be interested to see which ways women had more freedom or choice in the 50's-70's.