Feminism sold a lie - Women, today, are worse off than ever

[ConservativeC2]

Listening to the women I work with, it's been interesting to hear their views about feminism and they are not happy. We are all millennial age so not too young, not too old and I keep hearing that it's the millennial generation of women that have absolutely lost out the most.

I think feminism initially promoted some idea of independence, equality and choice. Phrases like 'men hold all the money and power' at the time were very emotive whilst not entirely true. The correct statement then (and still now) is some men hold all the money and power. Most men back in the 50s-70s worked very long hours and spent pretty much all their money on their family. It was hard for everyone, but I think women were more empowered then than now.

In contrast to today, most of the women my age have to work. Whilst feminism promotes choice, most of them do not actually have a choice today. Most men today do not earn enough to run a household which means most women have to work. The worst part is they still do a larger share of the domestic work and childcare. So I think women now have it worse than ever - it's not just me, my female colleagues feel the same way. They've come to point in life where they want to start a family but they know they will have to come back to work.

Now it's all to do with feminism. There are other factors which has driven up the cost of living (inflation, property prices, profit extraction from multinational corporates etc).

Because their knowledge of the time in question is limited to the anecdotes of the women in their families. They think because their nan didn't work or their mum worked part time, this is how it was. If you were actually there living it then you observed a much wider range of lifestyles. You knew that the shops were full of women working on the tills, hospitals were full of women nurses, you were taught by female teachers. That we had a woman prime minister....

If you think strangers would care about your children better than yourself, I don't have anything to add, sorry.

@Ubertomusic For me what is most important is that my daughter sees me as an independent woman who works to provide for her (alongside my husband). I would hope she will do the same.

I suppose that's OK but I, on the other hand, couldn't care less if my DM was independent or not. I'd rather I could spend more time with her when I was a child.

Well, yes. You're obviously right, but it's so ridiculous for people to make sweeping statements about how much better things were in the past without having any idea of what they're actually talking about!

Strangers don't have to care about your child to care for them. All they have to care about is doing their job as a professional, whether that's teaching, nursing or childcare.

@Ubertomusic You wouldn't want your own daughter to get a decent job and be financially independent? Why not?

"Strangers" is such an emotive and misleading term in any case. I mean, it's not as if working parents are just thrusting their dc into the arms of any random passers by. Most people invest a huge amount of care and thought into selecting childcare for their kids.

Because she’s got different priorities and would rather she had her own children and spent time enjoying motherhood free from badgering about a job, which is just a job after all.

@ThankYouNigel So.how is she paying for her own kids?

Feminists supported mothers by fighting for maternity leave and childcare. We aren't turning up on your doorstep asking why you aren't back to work yet.

It's not about the job. It's about the options the job provides. It's also about the protections that have been enshrined in law. Without your own income, you're vulnerable. And if women's rights were rolled back a few decades, a sahm without money could be left in dire straits.

Their Dad can provide for them whilst she focuses on nurturing them at home. Many women are still perfectly happy and understand the benefits of dividing up responsibilities clearly. Way less conflict and arguments, everyone knows what they are doing. I would never marry a man who didn’t understand that.

The failure of older Mumsnetters to see the unique challenges faced by working mums of today is quite upsetting to be honest. Absolutely zero fucks given. I’m saying this as someone without children.

@ThankYouNigel You're sexist then.

You underestimate massively how resourceful women are, especially housewives, which is misogynistic in itself. Plenty walk back into the workforce if life demands that they must, even though it’s far from their ideal life. Plenty also re-marry with ease.

Thats economics- not feminism.

You want to go back to the days where a woman couldnt have her own bank account? Or had to ask a male person to sign things for her? Or resign her job when she got married?

I'm not an older mumsnetter, maybe only slightly; I started having kids young and still have a little 8 year old at home. I am well aware of the challenges faced by mums of today. I am one! But anything implying that feminism is the issue here and that MEN have the key to all our problems makes me break out in hives. We must push for better childcare provisions and MORE equality in the workplace, not less.

I really don't get this "most women were housewives in the past" bullshit. There's not been a single generation of women in my family who haven't worked as mothers.

The only difference is now we can choose our careers and demand fair pay.

Nope, for some couples mum is the breadwinner and Dad stays at home. It’s a model that works brilliantly for many, rather than both running around trying to work, clean, parent, etc. Each person has less to do overall and way more free time to relax, recharge, do what they want. I would never in a million years try and do 2 people’s work, whether paid or unpaid.

I think you're safe.
Most women wouldnt marry a man who expected you to stay in the kitchen.

@Paganpentacle I think some women would actually like it if they had to resign from their job when they got married. It would give them a real excuse not to work.

I burnt mine thanks to Germaine Greer in the 70’s…. I don’t think anyone could cope with me ripping mine off now…😳😳😳

I'm a knife wielding alcoholic..... should I be allowed to look after children?

It has nothing to do with "understanding". It is about beliefs.

You're entitled to your beliefs and to live your life as you see fit, but please don't try to patronise other women or imply that your way is somehow better because you and your H "understand" something that others haven't quite grasped. We understand your position, we simply don't agree that your approach to organising family life is better because it is notin line with our beliefs and values.