Feminism sold a lie - Women, today, are worse off than ever

[ConservativeC2]

Listening to the women I work with, it's been interesting to hear their views about feminism and they are not happy. We are all millennial age so not too young, not too old and I keep hearing that it's the millennial generation of women that have absolutely lost out the most.

I think feminism initially promoted some idea of independence, equality and choice. Phrases like 'men hold all the money and power' at the time were very emotive whilst not entirely true. The correct statement then (and still now) is some men hold all the money and power. Most men back in the 50s-70s worked very long hours and spent pretty much all their money on their family. It was hard for everyone, but I think women were more empowered then than now.

In contrast to today, most of the women my age have to work. Whilst feminism promotes choice, most of them do not actually have a choice today. Most men today do not earn enough to run a household which means most women have to work. The worst part is they still do a larger share of the domestic work and childcare. So I think women now have it worse than ever - it's not just me, my female colleagues feel the same way. They've come to point in life where they want to start a family but they know they will have to come back to work.

Now it's all to do with feminism. There are other factors which has driven up the cost of living (inflation, property prices, profit extraction from multinational corporates etc).

Embarrassing and depressing, isn't it? OP seems to think women sat at home in lap of luxury living on their partner's income out of choice, not because they were summarily dismissed from work upon pregnancy, limited as to their occupational choices, etc.

OP had another thread that got deleted

She posted different comments which implied that she'd never read any history and doesn't realise that working class women have always worked. It makes me wonder what world you live in @ConservativeC2

maybe watch Mad Men. Not fully accurate but it shows you what shitty life choices women had mid last century

but also, does anyone think men lead magical perfect lives? Why would feminism promising equality lead to perfect lives? Life isn’t perfect - it can be made better but no one is going to give you your perfect life except yourself so work for it! Living in the UK you have a much better chance of living a good life than in other places so take that opportunity as much as you can

Good for her 🙄

The problem is, it's still not 50-50.

My poor sister has a husband who expects her to work full-time, refuses to entertain part-time working when she had a child (it wouldn't be fair!), yet she is still expected to do most of the housework and cooking.

He doesn't see the problem.

Men nowadays expect us to work AND do the majority of childcare etc.

Tbf that applies to all ages when it comes to things they never experienced the lack of. Like abortion rights, or communism, or “we want the army in the streets” Covid brigade. It’s easy to dismiss rights you always had.

This is why so many of my generation don't live with another man after they're divorced or widowed.

What would’ve happened if she just… didn’t? Or left him?

Agree.

I don’t recall feminism ever having been touted as saying women can have it all.

What you described as feminism is my take on what it is.

I’m a millennial myself and definitely do not want to return to the days where being married was more about survival than actually liking or loving your DH.

Granted, there were movies depicting women seemingly having it all, but I also recall those women either had support systems and/or were exhausted and self-medicating.

There were also the movies where women gave up their careers to be sahm only for their husbands to cheat and then they find themselves again and their husbands suddenly want them back.

There’s a reason Prozac was nicknamed mummy’s little helper

How exactly do we rage against the system?
Write to your MP
Write to a newspaper
Form a lobby group with other women
Vote for a party you think will support women
Organise or join a march
Start a petition
Stand as a councillor
Join a union
Join FiLiA
Join the National Council of Women
Join FAWCETT
Join the Women's Institute

You have a lot of choice. It will be work though and that's what you don't want.

Why did she have a child with such an arsehole?

It's everyone's helper now.

"It's all her fault" all over again.

Reminds me of that thread ages ago where women were asked if they would remarry and a large majority said they would not be keen on it especially living with a man again.

But it sounds like she is still married to him?

I just wouldn't accept a situation in which my DH wasn't pulling his weight at home. I don't know why so many women seem willing to put up with this?

This is all your sister’s choice.

She could refuse to do full time or refuse to do the lion share of household labour.

Or leave him.

Did they have an equitable split before marriage / children?

It isn't "all her fault", but it is ok to recognise that women have agency in these situations. Thanks to feminism, they do not have to stay married to shitty misogynistic men.

You are talking absolute drivel. Before 1975 women could be and were denied mortgages without a male guarantor. How the heck is that having any power. You seem to be mixing power and being fortunate. Some women were fortunate that their husband or father didn't want to control their freedom, others were not but both sets of women had no power over their situation.

No. Seriously, why would you, if you find yourself with a man who expects you to do most of the housework and cooking, further embed yourself in that situation and add to it by having a child?

It's not her fault he's an arse.

She doesn't have to tolerate it. If she does, then that is a choice.

Have to say that's mainly what I'm hearing. "How do we rage against the system" from the generation that's glued to social media! I'm glad there aren't any suffragettes alive today to hear all this bleating about having to work full-time instead of part-time and how wonderful it was when women just stayed at home and played with their babies whilst their self-sacrificing menfolk went out to work to meet all their needs without complaint.

I've said this before elsewhere but it's really making me question this current trend of TV and film where groups historically without any real political agency - women, people of colour, disabled people - are portrayed as if those things made no or little difference to their options. I see the value of making those groups visible given that they've been present throughout history and massively overlooked, but I am also wondering if people who don't have lived experience of how things actually were when you were part of those minorities are taking that as an accurate portrayal of how things actually were and just not grasping how terrible it was to be legally and socially subordinate.

I’m not brainwashed. Women want to work and earn and realise their potential . I agree they need more support when raising children but that should be the focus of change. Affordable childcare and decent maternity packages and maternity rights.

You can crack on with living like your ancestors if you like. I am sure it’s doable with benefits. You won’t need electricity or a car or appliances or holidays or TV so it should be cheap.

If you mean life was better in the good old days you’re just bemoaning modern life. It’s not feminists’ fault you don’t live in Milly Molly Mandy’s village.

They didn't afford it though. My Grandparents in the 50s never had holidays - it was a day trip to the beach. A car was a luxury and they were extremely frugal.

Yes houses were cheap but they were extremely basic compared to now - tiny kitchen, outside loo, no central heating.

Oh and my Nan also worked outside the home once the kids were at school.

What you've described would only be for professionals and high earners.

It was not just for high earners, but people did make do with much less.