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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think this isn't a reasonable suggestion from DWP

178 replies

Jenneypops · 28/10/2025 14:18

Claiming universal credit as husbands hybrid role went fully office so he's looking for a new role and we qualify for support as low incomes.

We are in Staffordshire his office was in London. The staff member asked why he's given up his job instead of moving to London.

That is not a reasonable suggestion in my opinion, and it was delivered with a very snotty attitude. Why are some people on jobs to help people they clearly don't want to be or are useless at? No consideration for the fact we could never afford the rent there etc.

OP posts:
LaserPumpkin · 28/10/2025 14:21

I think it’s reasonable for her to ask.

There are things he possibly could have considered to make it work in the short term while looking for a job more locally - I don’t know whether Monday to Friday lets are still a thing, or it’s possible to get cheap hotel / hostel accommodation, even in London.

Lolalovesroses · 28/10/2025 14:23

I think it’s a perfectly understandable question. Many people either commute to London or live in “ digs” there. My father had to do it for many years when we were younger. The whole family would not have to relocate he could do it as a temporary measure until he found a new job.

Jenneypops · 28/10/2025 14:24

OK. I'm sure everyone will think its reasonable then that he went to London to live in a hostel to do a barely minimum wage job and leave his family rather than look for a new job and claim support he is entitled to due to national insurance payments he's been paying for years.

I don't but maybe I'm wrong.

OP posts:
Octavia64 · 28/10/2025 14:25

People do relocate. It happens.

she’s perfectly reasonable to ask.

i have kids and a mortgage is a good reason not to.

purplecorkheart · 28/10/2025 14:25

I don't think it is an unreasonable question. I had a friend in similar circumstances and he stayed away during the week in Digs while job hunting for another role. He did this as he was in a niche industry and at the time the job market was poor.

Jenneypops · 28/10/2025 14:25

My dad also worked Mon to Fri in London when I was growing up. He didn't pay a 2nd rent to do so though.

OP posts:
LaserPumpkin · 28/10/2025 14:26

If he’s in a barely minimum wage job then surely he could find a minimum wage job locally quite easily?

fishtank12345 · 28/10/2025 14:26

Jenneypops · 28/10/2025 14:24

OK. I'm sure everyone will think its reasonable then that he went to London to live in a hostel to do a barely minimum wage job and leave his family rather than look for a new job and claim support he is entitled to due to national insurance payments he's been paying for years.

I don't but maybe I'm wrong.

Its ridiculous. You are right. Some people are just so out of touch with reality.

Sidebeforeself · 28/10/2025 14:26

Oh stop it. There’s a distinction here and you know it. She wasn’t saying he should move she was just gathering information. I presume he explained your situation.

Jenneypops · 28/10/2025 14:27

He already has! Starts in 2 weeks. She wasn't interested in the actual specifics though 🙄

OP posts:
JenniferBooth · 28/10/2025 14:27

I can see why this isnt feasible Second rent? I take it you are in social housing

Jenneypops · 28/10/2025 14:28

She absolutely was saying he should have moved. She was not gathering information.

OP posts:
JHound · 28/10/2025 14:29

It’s a fair question to ask.

All he needs to do is answer why it’s not feasible.

Sidebeforeself · 28/10/2025 14:29

Jenneypops · 28/10/2025 14:28

She absolutely was saying he should have moved. She was not gathering information.

Well you didnt word it like that in your OP. And anyway, you can still just explain why its not feasible.

Gabbycat245 · 28/10/2025 14:29

I personally think it's a ridiculous question, but I also think my view is coloured by my own experience of the job centre. I am a professional who has always worked (except while studying - obviously did not claim any benefits during this time). I found myself without a job unexpectedly and the ridiculous 'advice' dished out by the JC who knew nothing about my field of work blew my mind.

BriefEncountersOfTheThirdKind · 28/10/2025 14:29

Staffordshire to London can be about a 2 hour train journey, staying in a Travel Lodge during the week if needed

Even if just short term whilst he looks for something locally

They have to ask the question to see why he's made the choice he has

LaserPumpkin · 28/10/2025 14:29

Jenneypops · 28/10/2025 14:27

He already has! Starts in 2 weeks. She wasn't interested in the actual specifics though 🙄

Good for him! At least you / he will soon be out of DWP’s clutches.

It doesn’t surprise me about DWP not being interested in the specifics. I once had a good permanent job lined up but didn’t start for 4 weeks and DWP was still trying to insist I went for interviews for less good jobs in case they had an earlier start date.

Arlanymor · 28/10/2025 14:30

Being snotty is not on - so if someone was rude then that's not ok.

But it's part of their job to exhaust all avenues that the applicant might not have considered - such as permanent relocation, working away from home during the week or commuting. Surely as a taxpayer yourself you understand the need to have this kind of process to ensure that applicants are genuine and that they receive all of the support that they need - which includes advice, not just money.

I see you've updated to say it's almost minimum wage though - so unless it's very niche, then working in London on any basis doesn't make sense if he's not getting London weighting at the very least, which is sounds like he isn't. Hopefully he should be able to find something local for similar money.

And you've updated again to say he has a job - sorry I can't keep up with the drip feeding! That's great news.

JHound · 28/10/2025 14:30

BriefEncountersOfTheThirdKind · 28/10/2025 14:29

Staffordshire to London can be about a 2 hour train journey, staying in a Travel Lodge during the week if needed

Even if just short term whilst he looks for something locally

They have to ask the question to see why he's made the choice he has

This. I know many people who did similar commutes, some commuting in the same day. It’s not an odd question.

And given he was already commuting some days a week, asking why he quit and went on benefits instead of just commuting more days while seeking a new job is a fair question.

moderndilemma · 28/10/2025 14:30

Jenneypops · 28/10/2025 14:24

OK. I'm sure everyone will think its reasonable then that he went to London to live in a hostel to do a barely minimum wage job and leave his family rather than look for a new job and claim support he is entitled to due to national insurance payments he's been paying for years.

I don't but maybe I'm wrong.

NI payments covers all sorts - the NHS, sick pay, your state pension (if that still exists in the future), it's not a savings fund that you're entitled to get back.

BriefEncountersOfTheThirdKind · 28/10/2025 14:33

JHound · 28/10/2025 14:30

This. I know many people who did similar commutes, some commuting in the same day. It’s not an odd question.

And given he was already commuting some days a week, asking why he quit and went on benefits instead of just commuting more days while seeking a new job is a fair question.

Edited

Especially as he managed to get a new job fairly easily apparently

Arlanymor · 28/10/2025 14:33

JHound · 28/10/2025 14:30

This. I know many people who did similar commutes, some commuting in the same day. It’s not an odd question.

And given he was already commuting some days a week, asking why he quit and went on benefits instead of just commuting more days while seeking a new job is a fair question.

Edited

Same - pre-Covid one of my friends was commuting to London from the coast for five hours a day. And even when I lived in London I had two long commutes for two different jobs on the opposite side of the city... Aldgate to Chiswick Park and Aldgate to Hounslow. I really don't miss those early starts!

HoppityBun · 28/10/2025 14:34

Gabbycat245 · 28/10/2025 14:29

I personally think it's a ridiculous question, but I also think my view is coloured by my own experience of the job centre. I am a professional who has always worked (except while studying - obviously did not claim any benefits during this time). I found myself without a job unexpectedly and the ridiculous 'advice' dished out by the JC who knew nothing about my field of work blew my mind.

I came across the reverse. I knew someone who was very overweight and couldn’t walk at all easily. He got a massive car, which just helped his social life and he got a full range of benefits. I could never understand why the DWP didn’t pick up that he was a computer wiz and could easily have worked in IT remotely.

Elseaknows · 28/10/2025 14:36

This doesn't surprise me, sorry this was your experience OP. Hopefully it all works out in the end and you don't have to deal with the DWP for much longer.
People find themselves in difficult positions all the time and DWP should be more mindful of this. Circumstances aren't ideal but there is more to life than the grind. I wouldn't want to be away from my family just because it saves the JC a few quid. I'm sure the OPs DH will look for an alternative if things don't work out.

PinkFrogss · 28/10/2025 14:36

I suppose they’ll have seen it as him just quitting his job. Which I guess he did unless her terms and conditions/contract of employment changed. BTW if it did he should contact ACAS for advice.

Anyway if he’s gotten a new job now anyway I’d just forget her comment and move on.

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