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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think this isn't a reasonable suggestion from DWP

178 replies

Jenneypops · 28/10/2025 14:18

Claiming universal credit as husbands hybrid role went fully office so he's looking for a new role and we qualify for support as low incomes.

We are in Staffordshire his office was in London. The staff member asked why he's given up his job instead of moving to London.

That is not a reasonable suggestion in my opinion, and it was delivered with a very snotty attitude. Why are some people on jobs to help people they clearly don't want to be or are useless at? No consideration for the fact we could never afford the rent there etc.

OP posts:
CocoRats · 28/10/2025 18:43

Bromptotoo · 28/10/2025 15:29

Why did you not move is a reasonable question.

Couldn't afford it is a reasonable answer.

Exactly

Katemax82 · 28/10/2025 18:46

Unrelated but my midwife asked why I hadn't considered giving birth naturally to my breech baby!

ItWasTheBabycham · 28/10/2025 18:55

It’s a reasonable question, if the taxpayer is picking up the slack for his choice. Why can’t he relocate?

XenoBitch · 28/10/2025 18:56

ItWasTheBabycham · 28/10/2025 18:55

It’s a reasonable question, if the taxpayer is picking up the slack for his choice. Why can’t he relocate?

Would you relocate to London for a min wage job that you are leaving in 2 weeks anyway?

cityanalyst678 · 28/10/2025 19:07

My husband spent 20 years of our marriage working 7 weeks away/ 3 weeks at home.
I had 3 children and a part time job, which became full time. We have never claimed benefits.

AndeanFlamingo · 28/10/2025 19:15

TyroleanKnockabout · 28/10/2025 15:23

Oh god. I have my first interview with the job centre tomorrow, but I now have a job lined up in my field starting in a month which took a lot of effort to get. I’ll be so pissed off if they say this to me!

I have the same situation but they've been fine with me. My start date does look like it's going to be pushed back by a couple of weeks but I don't get the impression they're going to be difficult about it, they just seemed pleased that I'd been proactive and that they didn't have to do much with me.

NoSoupForU · 28/10/2025 19:18

People just lack any sort of common sense, as evidence in comments here.

Commuting from Staffordshire to London to do a job which pays a low enough salary to qualify for universal credit would be ridiculous! I'm pretty sure there wouldn't be money in the pot to pay for room rentals etc either.

XenoBitch · 28/10/2025 19:19

cityanalyst678 · 28/10/2025 19:07

My husband spent 20 years of our marriage working 7 weeks away/ 3 weeks at home.
I had 3 children and a part time job, which became full time. We have never claimed benefits.

My ex did too. He would spend weeks at a time in Europe, come back for a long weekend and go back.
But he was on very good money, hence no benefits.

Unless your household was on a low income, then you would get no benefits. It is nothing to do with working away.

But why would someone work away on a low income when pretty much all they earn would be on their accommodation? It makes no financial sense.

VeterinaryCareAssistant · 28/10/2025 19:22

BriefEncountersOfTheThirdKind · 28/10/2025 14:29

Staffordshire to London can be about a 2 hour train journey, staying in a Travel Lodge during the week if needed

Even if just short term whilst he looks for something locally

They have to ask the question to see why he's made the choice he has

The hotel fees would take up his wages.

NoSoupForU · 28/10/2025 19:24

BriefEncountersOfTheThirdKind · 28/10/2025 14:29

Staffordshire to London can be about a 2 hour train journey, staying in a Travel Lodge during the week if needed

Even if just short term whilst he looks for something locally

They have to ask the question to see why he's made the choice he has

Return train journey would be around £100, and a cheap hotel in London would be £150 for 4 nights minimum for the shittest grot hole. He'd then also have to pay for meals, with no facility to cook. So you'd be talking around about £350 a week as a very conservative estimate. On a salary which qualifies for universal credit.

VeterinaryCareAssistant · 28/10/2025 19:30

Wonder how many women whining about "tax payers money" are stay at home mums, never working and paying tax themselves, that are happy for their NI contributions to be paid by the government as child benefit claimants.

It's not the end of the world if families claim a bit of UC. We should be more concerned about politicians wasting tax payers money for personal gain.

TyroleanKnockabout · 28/10/2025 19:34

AndeanFlamingo · 28/10/2025 19:15

I have the same situation but they've been fine with me. My start date does look like it's going to be pushed back by a couple of weeks but I don't get the impression they're going to be difficult about it, they just seemed pleased that I'd been proactive and that they didn't have to do much with me.

Thank you, that’s reassuring!

Unpaidviewer · 28/10/2025 19:38

Leaving a job without having another lined up is crazy to me.

VeterinaryCareAssistant · 28/10/2025 19:40

TennisLady · 28/10/2025 16:42

Mumsnet for you! Wonder how many posters suggesting it would live in a travelodge Monday-Friday away from their family and a pay cut for doing so.

Bet they'd be happy for their DHs to live away and earn a low amount.

They'd have to solo parent which many on MN seem to find so difficult...

XenoBitch · 28/10/2025 19:46

Unpaidviewer · 28/10/2025 19:38

Leaving a job without having another lined up is crazy to me.

They do have a job lined up.

Unpaidviewer · 28/10/2025 19:49

XenoBitch · 28/10/2025 19:46

They do have a job lined up.

Sorry missed that drip feed. I still dont understand why you wouldnt make it work for 2 weeks until starting a new job.

VeterinaryCareAssistant · 28/10/2025 19:52

Jhgff · 28/10/2025 18:38

OPs family are working and in receipt of UC?

As are the majority of UC claimants.

XenoBitch · 28/10/2025 19:52

Unpaidviewer · 28/10/2025 19:49

Sorry missed that drip feed. I still dont understand why you wouldnt make it work for 2 weeks until starting a new job.

Because they would be paying the same, if not more, to have accommodation in London than they would be earning. What would be the point of that?

Chinsupmeloves · 28/10/2025 19:59

It's probably more about validation for leaving the job, which i believe means you can't claim UC for a certain period?

Of course the question sounds ridiculous as moving to London with the prices 🙄

Too far to commute and too much to stay to work. Hopefully you and DH can find new jobs soon, meanwhile applying for benefits you just have to go through the motions with eye rolls as the same criteria will be applied to everyone. Xx

Chinsupmeloves · 28/10/2025 20:04

XenoBitch · 28/10/2025 18:21

You get sanctioned if you leave a job without good reason if you are on UC, so I guess they asked to find out why. Your DH's answer is perfectly reasonable though, plus he has a new job lined up anyway. Nothing wrong with claiming UC until then.
The work coach is not living in reality if they think someone should move to London for a minimum wage job, never mind what impact that would have on you and your own job too, and childcare etc.
My ex rented a flat Mon-Fri with a colleague when he lived miles from a job. It was about the same distance as your DH is from his work. But he was on about 3xNMW so he could afford it. It makes no sense at all to spend all your wage on commuting/accommodation.

My DP is in a 100% WFH role, and if he suddenly had to commute to the office, he simply could not do it. Half his wage would be on commuting alone, never mind the time too. He would have no money and no life.

I wish your DH good luck in his new job.

How far commute would he have to do? Just wondering what those who wfh and have to go back to the office consider a long travel? Xx

TennisLady · 28/10/2025 20:07

cityanalyst678 · 28/10/2025 19:07

My husband spent 20 years of our marriage working 7 weeks away/ 3 weeks at home.
I had 3 children and a part time job, which became full time. We have never claimed benefits.

Did he earn little more than minimum wage and have to pay money for the train and hotels out of that?

RubySquid · 28/10/2025 20:07

Katemax82 · 28/10/2025 18:46

Unrelated but my midwife asked why I hadn't considered giving birth naturally to my breech baby!

It's only recently that's not been done actually.

Icecreamandcoffee · 28/10/2025 20:08

Its not an unreasonable question. He left his job as he didn't want the commute. A lot of people were able to wfh during covid, expected it to be a long term thing and moved hundreds of miles away from their office. I have lots of friends who have made such a move, 1 to Scotland, another to Wales, one to Devon, 1 has even moved countries and now lives in Germany. All worked and lived in London before covid. Many people who have made such large moves are extremely unhappy about hybrid and back to office mandates but did not ensure the wfh arrangements were a permanent change in contract.

TennisLady · 28/10/2025 20:09

Icecreamandcoffee · 28/10/2025 20:08

Its not an unreasonable question. He left his job as he didn't want the commute. A lot of people were able to wfh during covid, expected it to be a long term thing and moved hundreds of miles away from their office. I have lots of friends who have made such a move, 1 to Scotland, another to Wales, one to Devon, 1 has even moved countries and now lives in Germany. All worked and lived in London before covid. Many people who have made such large moves are extremely unhappy about hybrid and back to office mandates but did not ensure the wfh arrangements were a permanent change in contract.

It’s a massive shame that some companies are going backwards and limiting themselves to people who live within commuting distance rather than talent based elsewhere.

XenoBitch · 28/10/2025 20:11

Chinsupmeloves · 28/10/2025 20:04

How far commute would he have to do? Just wondering what those who wfh and have to go back to the office consider a long travel? Xx

For my DP, I am not sure of the distance but the train fair alone would wipe out a lot of his pay ( he does the occasional site visit), and his rent where he lives already takes up half of it.
But he would have to leave his job if it came to having to go to the office. His support network is where he lives.