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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think this isn't a reasonable suggestion from DWP

178 replies

Jenneypops · 28/10/2025 14:18

Claiming universal credit as husbands hybrid role went fully office so he's looking for a new role and we qualify for support as low incomes.

We are in Staffordshire his office was in London. The staff member asked why he's given up his job instead of moving to London.

That is not a reasonable suggestion in my opinion, and it was delivered with a very snotty attitude. Why are some people on jobs to help people they clearly don't want to be or are useless at? No consideration for the fact we could never afford the rent there etc.

OP posts:
Chinsupmeloves · 28/10/2025 20:20

XenoBitch · 28/10/2025 20:11

For my DP, I am not sure of the distance but the train fair alone would wipe out a lot of his pay ( he does the occasional site visit), and his rent where he lives already takes up half of it.
But he would have to leave his job if it came to having to go to the office. His support network is where he lives.

Ah I see, thank you, just my curiosity. My DH wfh mostly but if he has to go the office or do visits he gets paid for travel/overnight. I don't working in the public sector, completely different world! Xxx

RubySquid · 28/10/2025 20:21

Sounds like a question more than a suggestion tbh

youalright · 28/10/2025 20:25

Jenneypops · 28/10/2025 14:24

OK. I'm sure everyone will think its reasonable then that he went to London to live in a hostel to do a barely minimum wage job and leave his family rather than look for a new job and claim support he is entitled to due to national insurance payments he's been paying for years.

I don't but maybe I'm wrong.

You're not wrong people on here will tell you You're wrong but would never do it themselves. Asking a person to leave their home and family is unreasonable

Jhgff · 28/10/2025 20:33

VeterinaryCareAssistant · 28/10/2025 19:30

Wonder how many women whining about "tax payers money" are stay at home mums, never working and paying tax themselves, that are happy for their NI contributions to be paid by the government as child benefit claimants.

It's not the end of the world if families claim a bit of UC. We should be more concerned about politicians wasting tax payers money for personal gain.

A SAHM mum isn't reliant on the tax payer but instead on her husband. I was a sahm mum and raised all our kids. Never took a penny in benefits. DH earned too much.

JenniferBooth · 28/10/2025 20:34

MaidOfSteel · 28/10/2025 17:11

That’s quite an assumption!

Im so sick of clearly middle ‘clarse’ attitudes on benefits threads.

I think YOU are making the assumption Feel free to AS me btw I was only asking because if the OPs DH did what was suggested some nosy arse neighbour would probably ring the HA and say hes not living there anymore. Because the way SH works is that you actually have to live in it. I know that from a. reading up about it and b. LIVING IN IT MYSELF And some of those nosy arses will be MNers.

RubySquid · 28/10/2025 20:37

Jhgff · 28/10/2025 20:33

A SAHM mum isn't reliant on the tax payer but instead on her husband. I was a sahm mum and raised all our kids. Never took a penny in benefits. DH earned too much.

Not the case where the husbands earnings are low enough to get topped up but if the wife also worked they would earn too much. I'm those cases it is " taxpayers money" supporting a sahm

Bluegrassdfly · 28/10/2025 20:39

XenoBitch · 28/10/2025 19:52

Because they would be paying the same, if not more, to have accommodation in London than they would be earning. What would be the point of that?

Why the hell would you claim benefits for 2 weeks of unemployment. The entitlement from some people on this thread is off the scale. No wonder the welfare bill is through the roof!

XenoBitch · 28/10/2025 20:39

Jhgff · 28/10/2025 20:33

A SAHM mum isn't reliant on the tax payer but instead on her husband. I was a sahm mum and raised all our kids. Never took a penny in benefits. DH earned too much.

I have had posters on here berate me for being on benefits when they are either a SAHM or not a net contributor (but married to someone who is).
As an individual, they are just as much a "drain" as I am. But they think being bankrolled by their DH excuses them.

JenniferBooth · 28/10/2025 20:40

childofthe607080s · 28/10/2025 18:06

the whole get on your bike for work all over again- tearing apart families and support networks , and the difference in house pricing is obscene / even a room to rent only works if you are on big money

And then moaning including getting moaned at by the NHS when there is no one available or living close enough to care for elderly relatives
Cant have it both ways.

XenoBitch · 28/10/2025 20:41

Bluegrassdfly · 28/10/2025 20:39

Why the hell would you claim benefits for 2 weeks of unemployment. The entitlement from some people on this thread is off the scale. No wonder the welfare bill is through the roof!

Because they are already on a low income, so would struggle even more with no money at all for those two weeks.

RaininSummer · 28/10/2025 20:43

The DWP employee would have had to ask your husband why he didn't move as they would need full information to consider otherwise he could have lost benefit for three months because he left his job. So what you think was a stupid suggestion was more likely a question asked which probably protected him from sanction.

RubySquid · 28/10/2025 20:43

XenoBitch · 28/10/2025 20:41

Because they are already on a low income, so would struggle even more with no money at all for those two weeks.

What about the OPs wages?

Marble10 · 28/10/2025 20:43

I think it’s definitely reasonable to ask why anyone has left a job. Presumably he knew it was a London based firm when he started and he was commuting to London at some point in his job and was happy with that?

XenoBitch · 28/10/2025 20:46

RubySquid · 28/10/2025 20:43

What about the OPs wages?

They are entitled to UC with her wages too.

WiddlinDiddlin · 28/10/2025 20:58

Marble10 · 28/10/2025 20:43

I think it’s definitely reasonable to ask why anyone has left a job. Presumably he knew it was a London based firm when he started and he was commuting to London at some point in his job and was happy with that?

I wouldn't presume this at all, lots of people started jobs that were promised as being totally WFH, and then the company is bought out or something changes and its office based now - a lot depends on the original contract, but even if he has a contract stating the role is WFH, the company could claim that role no longer exists, they have a business need for office based workers, if he doesn't move he's out of a job.

Bluegrassdfly · 28/10/2025 21:00

WiddlinDiddlin · 28/10/2025 20:58

I wouldn't presume this at all, lots of people started jobs that were promised as being totally WFH, and then the company is bought out or something changes and its office based now - a lot depends on the original contract, but even if he has a contract stating the role is WFH, the company could claim that role no longer exists, they have a business need for office based workers, if he doesn't move he's out of a job.

If that was the case he’d be made redundant though wouldn’t he. You can’t just make a fundamental change to someone’s contact and ask them to suck it up. Employment law doesn’t work like that.

Cece92 · 28/10/2025 21:11

I mean in defence of OP post Covid my work went hybrid. A lot of my pre Covid team left and the people who filled the roles in Covid do have to travel a fair bit to the office 2 days a week as the job was remote with intention of hybrid. If we were to go back to full time office a few of them have said they wouldn’t be able to afford the commute every day back and forth my manager included. So I can understand this argument however I always prepare for going back full time as it could happen at anytime so for me it would never affect me as I stay less than 10 minutes drive from my office. It is odd asking someone why they can’t move to London but I imagine it’s part of their job so wouldn’t worry too much x

Jhgff · 28/10/2025 21:21

XenoBitch · 28/10/2025 20:39

I have had posters on here berate me for being on benefits when they are either a SAHM or not a net contributor (but married to someone who is).
As an individual, they are just as much a "drain" as I am. But they think being bankrolled by their DH excuses them.

Someone who voluntarily loves them and cares for them and chooses to pay for them. The whole marriage is a partnership thing. Taxpayers are involuntarily forced to.

Anyway OP and her DH are struggling. Glad he's got a new job.

BriefEncountersOfTheThirdKind · 28/10/2025 22:13

Elseaknows · 28/10/2025 14:53

I'm well aware but people also have to live, have a right to family life and if they actually enjoy their job they tend to do it better and for longer. No wonder we have a mental health crisis in the UK. What's wrong with having ambition? Do we have to accept anything just because DWP say so?

You want them to pay Jobseekers?

Then you do what they tell you

They are literally there to get you into work

Climbing the ladder or following your dream career is done either living off savings or by working alongside the job you have

BriefEncountersOfTheThirdKind · 28/10/2025 22:40

Karao · 28/10/2025 16:35

Trains are extremely expensive, staying in a travel lodge in london during the week is also extremely expensive. Someone on a low to average income cannot afford that. Some people are so out of touch with reality its absurd.

Trains are not extremely expensive nor are Travel Lodges if you stay just outside of main London
Can get to London for less than £20 on a prebooked train from around Staffordshire area, you'd get a railcard with that much travel too which brings it down

I'm on low income, I'm not out of touch

BriefEncountersOfTheThirdKind · 28/10/2025 22:44

popcornandpotatoes · 28/10/2025 17:07

If he's on a low wage the train fair alone will be unmanageable. Don't be ridiculous

Train fairs aren't that much from Staffordshire to London

And OP drip fed in that he was a low earner

BriefEncountersOfTheThirdKind · 28/10/2025 23:02

NoSoupForU · 28/10/2025 19:24

Return train journey would be around £100, and a cheap hotel in London would be £150 for 4 nights minimum for the shittest grot hole. He'd then also have to pay for meals, with no facility to cook. So you'd be talking around about £350 a week as a very conservative estimate. On a salary which qualifies for universal credit.

£100 is way overestimating it on train fare

Don't book central London and you can get decent cheaper accommodation

Jhgff · 28/10/2025 23:08

Commuting and staying in a Travelodge and paying rent at home as well isn't financially worthwhile

BriefEncountersOfTheThirdKind · 28/10/2025 23:14

To make it clear:

OP dripfed that the job was minimum wage whilst I was typing my initial post

A quick check shows the first train from Stafford to London Euston, which gets you there around 7am, costs about £28, less with a travel card which you would use if you were travelling often, same to return after 6pm on a Friday

£56 per week. I'm also on MW. My bus fare can come in at around £25 a week, colleagues who drive can be paying £9 a day for parking, sometimes 6 days a week (so nearly £60) plus their petrol

£56 isn't a huge amount in travel tbh

And I also say this as someone whose been on UC, and been told I would need to commute up to an hour for work which could easily cost the same amount

Zenwalnut · 29/10/2025 14:05

So he has a full time job lined up.

Why are you applying for a benefit that will take many weeks to process?

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