Annoyed at friend who smokes and takes half of the party with him out?

[Meowmeowgirl]

Don’t get me wrong people who wanna smoke can smoke, not my lungs who gets ruined anyways, buuut, when me and my partner host parties we always have a friend who smokes. We are a group of 8-10 people and ONLY he smokes. The annoying part «heey u guys join me out for a smoke» like 4-5 people he brings with him out at our door since we don’t have a garden. And then the party inside kinda dies, and we not talking about them hanging out there for 5-10 minutes but sometimes even for 30 min and 1 hour to smoking, the rest just joins him without smoking, Wich is ridiculous in my opinion. Like why join a party if u just gonna spend most of the evening killing ur lungs outside the party. When he can’t join then they stay inside and no one goes out besides when we are ready for town. I feel i get extra annoyed at this when its my birtdhay celebration and i only see them here and there because most of them joins him out. And then makes me feel like my party is shit or sthm

How often do you have parties for this to bother you so much?

why don’t you join them?

I suppose it’s similar to a house party when absolutely everybody stands in the kitchen chatting.

Why are you so annoyed with him rather than the non smoking twerps who go outside with him?

I tend to just let people smoke inside at parties, in one room so people can avoid the smoke, in part because of this (it doesn't bother me, but it would annoy the neighbours if people kept going out and chatting loudly)

Maybe make up some fussy neighbours, and say please just smoke and come back, and say just one person can go with you

People wouldn’t go outside with him if it wasn’t a more enjoyable prospect than staying indoors. I’m guessing people like to go outside because if there are lots of people inside, it starts to feel a bit crowded. Or maybe it’s just easier to chat outside without shouting over noise or something.

It’s odd that you have enough big house parties for this to be a recurrent problem tbh.

Locking everyone inside so the party doesn’t die is clearly the only solution.

He must have some charisma if he attracts the company of non smokers.

This is also annoying when you go out and you end up outside all night coz the people you go out with smoke so they want to find a table outside so it’s either that or stand inside by yourself whilst you wait for everyone to finish their smoking outside but then they meet up with other smokers and start having their own party in the smoking area and forget about you sat inside waiting like a lemon …

I learnt long ago that the party is better out in the smoking area coz people are chilling and chatting so if you can’t beat them join them outside :)

Maybe... maybe your party is just a bit shit and they like to go with him because he's the life of the party?

@BriefEncountersOfTheThirdKind bruh free shots n drinks and led lights and own little dj set, then i dunno🤣 we dont have a patio, but he has this bossy energy so some may go with him because of that or he dosn’t even ask and just says «okay ya coming with me!»

@Pippa12 because live in norway where its cold asf at evenings to want to hang outside like an idiot who dosen’t smoke

You clearly have an issue with smokers so you're going to have a problem with him

Also, shots and drinks can surely be taken outside and the music still heard? That's not going to affect how good your party is mood wise without him

Maybe stop inviting him and then see if people even turn up?

Didn't ya know only cool people smoke😎

Ouch😂

@BriefEncountersOfTheThirdKind
When he can’t join people still join, and they don’t even go outside😆

So just stop inviting him if you resent him so much

Smokers know how to party don't ya know. I used to be a smoker, now vape. It's amazing the difference in vibes. Party at home or out at a pub, too loud to talk, go outside and it's buzzing with conversation.

It's because smoking is cool and all the most interesting people are smokers.

If people are choosing to go stand outside in the dark and cold he's obviously more fun and interesting than whatever is going on inside.

I quit smoking 2 weeks yay me 🤗 and the freedom I feel to be able to socialise or have a glass of wine 🍷 in the evening without freezing my arse off is immeasurable. I would take not having to go outside as a major win .
Btw, most non smokers who wanted to keep me company out on the balcony/smoking area,wanted a cheeky blast of mine.

That should have been 2 months ago 🫣 not 2 weeks.

smokers are cool and the best parties are always in the smoking area. Everyone knows that!

@Doingtheboxerbeat ahaha i guess it feels nice 😆 well i would understand more somewhat if it was the other smoke we where talikng about 🍁 but its only normal cigarettes

@ilovepixie could not say the same about that in my place 😆 no patio or garden just a door and the slighest uncomfy stairs to sit, especially in the cold, its inside it happends

I used to hate this when out and about for drinks or dinner with a group of mostly smokers.. And then they would come in absolutely stinking. Luckily most people have stopped now.

Yes this is annoying. I used to be left sat on my own in the pub whilst everyone went outside to smoke. Ok it's an addiction, but does it make you a selfish arsehole? Just go out on your own!

Is it a communal stair ? Do you have neighbours?
How do they feel about the smoking and noise from the guy and his pals sitting out there?
The cigarette fumes must be horrible.