This is a scam isn’t it?

[Namechabgeforthissss]

I’m pretty sure it is but I’m actually quite surprised by the tone of the messages now. I moved into a lovely neighbourhood and one of the neighbours same age kids as mine, same profession as mine too so we had a lot in common. I thought she was a lovely person with a lovely family so I wanted to get to know her more.

It started off with just a simple text asking if I wanted to make extra money on the side which I said I don’t have time right now as I’m still settling into new home and new job. Few weeks later another one and to be polite I asked details and she said I just need to give her £800 to become her partner on the business and then sign up at least 4 more people and I can earn £1200 a month! I told her again really politely I don’t have time do I won’t sign up. She’s messaged me again a few more times including this morning at 6am! Saying she really wants me to have this opportunity as it won’t come again. I obviously know it’s a scam but it’s put me off getting to know her better. Our kids are in same school so I wanted the kids to get friendly but I’m feeling like completely blanking her now. It’s such a pity as I think it would have been nice for the kids. Am I right to avoid her?

husband said it’s a pyramid scheme. I obviously will not be giving her any money on any grounds or signing up to some weird partnership

I frankly don't understand your problem. It doesn't matter if it's a scam, saying to her "Thank you for the info, but I'm not interested" should end the drama.

You’ve got your head switched on OP but I feel bad for the people who are vulnerable enough to get sucked into this, or feel intimidated by her into complying.

We have a UW ‘salesman’ on our local , I challenge him and get accused of being mean.

Years ago a colleague tried to get a group of us signed up for a pyramid scheme. I politely declined. At the time I thought if I wanted to be a salesperson I would apply for sales jobs..

Well now you know that you should wait and focus on other shy people. The first people to welcome and fuss over you are usually crazy/predatory/outcasts—that is why they target you. You can approach people sliwly and gently and find your people.

It’s very obviously a scam. I would confide in her you have no money and she will lose interest fast!

I agree , at the time the people I knew who had signed up were the skint people desperately hoping for an income boost. They ended up with a stash of crappy products they couldn't flog.

You just need to give her £800. Right. And people really fall for this?

Don’t even become friends with her.

It's clearly a pyramid scheme. Like juice plus, younique etc

Your mistake was engaging & trying to be polite.
Done now, she caught you off guard. It’s a tactic.

Next time, a straight “no thanks” & stop messaging.

Utilita Energy maybe. We got an approach from someone I vaguely know whilst both visiting my sick relative.

Tell her firmly but politely, NO!
But I would be curious to learn how many more neighbours she has approached, successfully or unsuccessfully. And now I’m itching for the OP to find out 🤭

People "fall for it" often because like the OP they are ignorant of such schemes or are separate for money or are chronic people pleasers.

Some might just be stupid but there are several other reasons sadly

Tell her you’ve got a better scheme and if she gives you £1,000 and signs up only 5 more people then she could earn £1,500 a month! Only tell her that you’d be grateful if she’s careful who she approaches as although it’s a good deal, it might get caught under the Consumer Protection from Unfair Trading Regulations 2008.

https://assets.publishing.service.gov.uk/media/5a7dde59ed915d2acb6ee9f3/Pyramid_selling_advice_for_the_public_and_communities.pdf

It’s really disappointing to move somewhere new and find that the friendly neighbour/ school mum with whom you thought you’d clicked and made a friend was just being friendly in order to make money from you. But as that is exactly what’s she’s done you shouldn’t feel bad about withdrawing from her and seeking friendships elsewhere. Guaranteed she’s tried everyone else in the local area and at the school gate and you don’t want to lose the opportunity to make other friends because you’re seen to be associated with her, they will all run a mile thinking you’ll be asking them for money to join a business partnership too.

OP it doesn’t matter. A legitimate business person wouldn’t offer a stake in their business five minutes after meeting you. Shut it down with a firm no and then block and delete. If you don’t you’ll be pestered until you give in. That’s how it works - any perceived doubt will be exploited until thy wear you down.

This is the tone and push back you need to take with this woman.

Just say “Good luck with whatever you are doing, but before we waste any more of either of our time I have no interest in your scheme, whatever it is”.

Any more from her “we’ve had that conversation, nothing to say”

On no account ask her for further details etc.

As others have said it’s a scam, and she’s been scammed so it’s useless trying to reason with her.

There is good research to show those who have been scammed find it very difficult to understand the situation as it means recognising they fell for a lie and this diminishes their self-worth. So a victim of a scam is more likely to fall for it over and over again.

So there is no point reasoning with this person. You just need to say no, and keep to it.

(as an aside, certain companies, masquerading as a political party, have been using this tactic for years, hence the fervent support they receive which verges on religiosity)

We've got one too. If I happen to be on the local FB town page and I see a new post, I can almost smell him rushing to get in there with his spiel. Last time he did, he posted a carefully cropped pic of UW being crowned a best buy. I "innocently" asked him for the source link which - oh no! - he couldn't quite find right then, but it was in xyz magazine...

I "helpfully" found the article and posted the link for all to see, including the full screenshot and context. I'm surprised he hasn't blocked me tbh, because it's not the first time I've done something similar, along with some other local bloke who also finds it sport.

I was approached like this once, by someone I barely knew which was why I didn't feel too worried about being a wee bit rude. She'd got my number from when we shared livery with our horses, so a 'business opportunity' was not uppermost in my mind.

I told her that I was not interested - probably a bit curtly, but I think she was just messaging absolutely everyone in her address book, it was nothing personal,

Tell her clearly that you're not interested then ignore

She's desperate to sell it to you because otherwise she's out of pocket, by loads! £800?! I'd have told her straight I simply don't, and will not ever, have that kind of money just lying about.

I feel sorry for her and her desperation but if she did this to me I'd get very blunt very quickly.

Thing with making friends later in life is if people don't already have their close knit group it's probably because no one wants to be in a friendship with them.

If they do have their close knit, solid, groups or single friends, then like all of us, we'll spend any free time with them, and free time is rare when you're a working parent.

I've got friendly with a few mums over the years and they've all turned out to be varying degrees of nope eventually.

Your DH is absolutely right - it's a pyramid scheme.

Yes, I'd avoid her.

I'm a retired teacher and a few of my earliest pupils became friends IRL and FB friends. After my DH died, a few more got in touch via Messenger and became FB friends. Following that, I accepted a few more requests.

About three of them keep trying to sell me candles and other bits of rubbish. I just ignore.

I briefly went out with a man who did the Amway pyramid scheme, many years ago. He didn’t try to recruit me for some reason, but he told me the “tricks of the trade” he had for recruiting people, and it was so devious.

He had a proper job as a sales rep for hospital equipment, so he’d regularly go to hospital canteens for food. He was very attractive and personable, and he’d chat to the staff at the till, saying things like “busy day isn’t it. You lot work so hard here don’t you, I bet you wish there was an easier way to make money. If I hear of anything I’ll let you know”. Then he’d go back a few times and gradually reel them in.

He also tracked down old school friends and acquaintances and called them, claiming he was working in their area, and wanting to meet to catch up, then he’d try and recruit them.

He showed me some of the sales material he had. Audio recordings telling him he was amazing and special and deserved good things. He was encouraged to visualise the things he wanted and display photos of his aims. He had a photo of a fancy golf club that he wanted to join in his car, to motivate him.

It was a bizarre cult even back then, pre internet. It’s scary to think of the power pyramid schemes have now.

@Namechabgeforthissss agree with others re Utility Warehouse.

Have a look at their blurb and do steer well clear

She might not be horrible .

MLM / pyramid schemes are not the same as setting up a fake company, taking orders and the. Disappearing with the cash, no orders despatched.

In theory they could work for a certain number of levels. People get signed up in carefully designed marketing (persuasion / semi brainwashing) techniques.

There is a product on offer… but you are now responsible for making your ‘investment’ back by getting more customers. Chances: low. As this woman is finding out.

She’s been gullible, lured by ambitions promises, and is following the script she has been given by the company.

In a year she will have come to terms with her own £800 loss, learned a lesson about her own naivety.

You obviously had more sense than to think £800 in a neighbours enterprise is a good idea so not sure why you are being so wide eyed about the whole thing.