Do people really think their friends don’t notice re-gifted toiletries?

[MoustachaNatasha]

I know this will sound ungrateful, and I know the obvious answers are “just stop doing gifts,” “be glad you got anything at all,” or “maybe that’s all they can afford.” I get all of that, but that’s not really my question.
I always put thought into gifts I think my friends will genuinely like, but every year I seem to receive a random mix of toiletries or odds and ends that I can’t use, and feel too embarrassed to re-gift. Some of them are literally the free gifts you get when buying full sizes. They go straight into a cupboard and today I’m bagging them up to donate to my DD’s Christmas fair. It even crossed my mind that I’ll probably end up receiving something back from there in the next round of gifts.
So my actual question is: if you re-gift toiletries, do you honestly believe the recipient won’t notice, or do you just not care if they do?
Genuinely curious how others see this.

Edited as a pp had already asked you

Exactly! feeling like someone is offloading an unwanted item makes you feel like they are giving you any old rubbish.

I would rather they didnt bother at all than pretend (lie) they bought you something just for you.

"I was given this deodorant as part of a set...you smell badly, so I thought you could use it"

My husband's nan regifed a bath set to me we gave her one year...

I try to put thought in gifts, but to assume that people don't is unfair. I don't live near family members who I buy for, and I don't know the contents of their bathroom/wardrobe/jewellery boxes/larder/drinks cabinet and it is hard to buy for them. I usually end up asking them what they want for Christmas instead.

As we get older most of us don't need any more "stuff" so it makes them even more difficult to buy for.

Nonsense. The whole point, in this scenario, is that you are not valued and that the donor does not care, but wants a bit of social credit for giving a gift (and is probably hoping to get a reciprocal gift that isn't your unwanted tat).

Spot on!

I have managed to whittle it down to exchanging gifts with just one friend. I put a lot of thought (and money) into her gifts. She buys me what she would like herself. I have never seen her wearing or using my gifts. I use hers once so she can see them and they are put on eBay. Problem is last birthday she bought an experience for me and knows the person who will carry it out, this experience is my worst nightmare. She doesn’t want to stop exchanging gifts and it’s too awkward for me not to give her one.

You need better friends or start a) not giving gifts b) give crap gifts back.

i regift but nothing like what you’ve spoken about, unless it’s new and presented in undamaged packaging then it not given as a gift. I will pass it on but only to someone who wants it e.g I will offer it and say I was given this, it’s not my thing do you want it? But most things these days I donate to a community food bank. I know one of the organisers and will always check they want it. I also give open things but again I tell them what’s been opened.

I think regifting is fine if you get something that’s not you but you know someone who would love it, but regifting crappy bits because you don’t like them without thinking about the recipients is crappy.

Just stop doing gifts!

Honestly @Pushmepullu imv you have to tell her it’s your worst nightmare and would she mind if you exchange

I would have had to keep that going as long as possible!

I stopped buying presents for friends and most of my family years ago. We do experiences instead. We've all got enough stuff.

But I had one friend who uses to regift little samples to some friends that didn't want them. If I don't like a gift I'll donate it or give it away but not as a present.

This is brilliant!

@MoustachaNatasha your friends don't like you. I would stop all gift exchange. Just tell them you have too much stuff and don't want to take part anymore. I don't have anyone to buy me nice gifts either

I believe the idea of buying gifts is to actually put some thought into giving something the recipient would appreciate.

Well that raises several points, @Fluffyholeysocks The rituals, psychology and etiquette of gift exchanges go back hundreds of years and have been extensively studied. The purpose of gift giving is to maintain a relationship, for various purposes, and the idea behind the gift is to provide something that fulfils an obligation and satisfies the expectations of the recipient.

Clearly these objectives are not achieved on many occasions. And it’s often not true that “it’s the thought that counts”

Yeah, like a PP, I regift to people I don’t like if it’s something I absolutely won’t use myself.

My favourite was a Secret Santa regift of a pair of hideous earrings to the work bitch. She didn’t even have pierced ears 🤣

Why do you give gifts to people you don't like? If you haven't got something bad enough to regift do you deliberately go out and spend money on things to upset,insult people? That seems incredibly odd.

That’s the way secret Santa works in my experience. You cannot refuse on the basis you don’t like the person whose name you pulled. I guess you could refuse to participate completely but I really enjoy Christmas 🎄🤶

To be fair, I don't think I'd want any of her little samples as a gift either! Best save them for your GP

Perhaps I'm very unusual, I don't buy Christmas gifts for friends and haven't since high school (in my 40s now). I usually buy for my parents, sister, wife and daughter and a few token other ones which are more 'end of year thank yous' for people like eg daughter's teacher etc, my assistant at work etc.

Also I would much rather receive no gift or one smaller / cheaper gift than a larger / more expensive looking item that is clearly a regift or from a 'present box' type arrangement where the giver has a drawer of items they've bought cheaply, but clearly aren't specifically for anyone. I have an aunt who will send 7 or 8 gifts that end up at the charity shop / for the school fair. I'd much rather a very cheap single gift eg a chocolate orange.

I mean, this just makes you sound like a horrid person really.

Regift or send to raffle or pop into charity shop: all are good options, don't know why you're being a bit funny about it. I'd rather someone passed it on if they didn't want to use it themselves and I never think any less of someone who clearly thought of me enough to bother bringing me something.
I tend to use up any small items for cracker fillers, stocking fillers or lucky dips. So rather than taking yet another giant tub of chocolate into nursery I'll find loads of mini things like toiletries etc and wrap them all and make a lucky dip instead.

One of my old friends used to regift for every occasion. Birthdays, Christmas! It was honestly just complete tat and actually quite insulting. She had clearly gone round the house looking for things to put in a box. I ended up having to take it all to the local tip, as was complete rubbish and I’d accumulated so much.
I’d spend ages looking and thinking about gifts which had meaning. I would much prefer not to receive anything, then a box full of tat which had no thought.

A friend gave me a gift someone had given her. I kneew because the signed gift card was inside.