Do people really think their friends don’t notice re-gifted toiletries?

[MoustachaNatasha]

I know this will sound ungrateful, and I know the obvious answers are “just stop doing gifts,” “be glad you got anything at all,” or “maybe that’s all they can afford.” I get all of that, but that’s not really my question.
I always put thought into gifts I think my friends will genuinely like, but every year I seem to receive a random mix of toiletries or odds and ends that I can’t use, and feel too embarrassed to re-gift. Some of them are literally the free gifts you get when buying full sizes. They go straight into a cupboard and today I’m bagging them up to donate to my DD’s Christmas fair. It even crossed my mind that I’ll probably end up receiving something back from there in the next round of gifts.
So my actual question is: if you re-gift toiletries, do you honestly believe the recipient won’t notice, or do you just not care if they do?
Genuinely curious how others see this.

Think how hurt the giver would be if they knew you'd given away their gift.

Even if it's not 100 percent what you'd have chosen for yourself, can't you just use it anyway? Someone recently took the trouble to give me a winter hat for my birthday, and it's not really my taste, but it's warm and I'm going to use it this winter anyway. She chose it for me.

I don't get the toiletry hate. At least they're consumable.

I don't think I've ever had anything regifted, not that I've noticed anyway. I don't think I've ever regifted anything either although I did give a box of chocolates as a prize for the hospice raffle this week, got too many chocolates for my birthday last week and thought it was a good idea to remove temptation.

I don’t use cheap toiletries or gift sets ( ie soap and glory etc). I would prefer that people just didn’t get me anything but some people insist. I keep them all in a bag and use them when the kids need something to donate to raffles or someone unexpected turns up at Christmas etc.

MIL always gives me a Boots set with the sticker on that means it was the "get one free". And I always donate it. My new year tradition!

It’s not. It’s rude to the child giving her the gift , they’ve bought it for her , not to give away. They’ve put thought into it . It’s also sad as iit screams martyr/people pleaser, I’m not good enough for these gifts or you deserve them more than me.

If you are buying loads of presents for neighbours , work colleagues then that’s on you. There is no need to do that. You are creating this by telling yourself you have to do it. These people do not all need presents. I’d dig into why you feel the need.

Actually you’re right. Some of it isn’t even fit for the school raffle, and that stings even more. What annoys me is my own reaction: I feel flooded with shame when I open these gifts, yet I still put on gratitude. Then I overcompensate, I spend time, money and thought on their gift, only to get another piece of garbage in return. This year is the last time I’m putting myself through that.

Does this mean you’re getting them gifts this year! 😮 Please don’t!

Honestly, you will feel so liberated. Don’t even tell them, just give no gift. Send cards if you feel need to. Send them early so they know no gifts with be forthcoming,

Yep, they are dicks 😀

I am wondering why you have continued to remain close friends with these people op?

Why is this good enough?

Have they commented on the presents having stopped? Do they still persist?

Gifting is such a con ( not to kids / family members etc )
We buy a gift for a friend , they buy one back . Nothing is gained . Just get yourself something you like .

" Its the thought that counts " is often quoted . I don't need a thought . I know my friends like me so that's enough.

I'd rather spend my money in December on buying a few extra items for the foodbank .

We’ll find out this Christmas…

I could fill a thread about their behaviour- Christmas regifting is just the tip of a really shit iceberg

Someone cares enough to give you something. That really should be enough for you. Regifting means not wasting things too. If youre not a xhild then be thankful you are valued enough to be given a gift.

If I don't like it then I won't regift as I think the other person won't like it as well. I'm a primary school teacher and in the past I used to get loads of hand creams , candles, toiletries etc (amazingly the last few years the parents have done a collection and have given me vouchers - so brilliant). I really appreciated the gesture but every year I ended up with lots of unused stuff and it's such a waste. I just gave the stuff away to friends and family asking them first if they wanted them and not as a gift.

Why not buy something they would actually like?

A friend once moaned to me about a wellness box she had ordered for herself when ill (bit like a beauty box) saying there was a hideous cheap pair of ugly grey nylon socks included. Guess what I unwrapped a couple if weeks later at Christmas.

Laughing at this thread because my husband received an, obviously re-gifted, Lynx deodorant and body spray last Christmas 🎄 He is 49 and was not impressed... 🤣

I don’t know, she used to be in and out of my house all the time, it wasn’t unusual for her to come for coffee nearly every day then she stopped. I did ask if I’d said something, she said no. Then in January she crossed the road to avoid speaking, i know she’d seen me, she was only a few feet away!
I was very hurt but 🤷🏼‍♀️

I strongly disagree. A gift that’s obviously a cupboard clear out doesn’t feel like being valued in the slightest. It feels like the exact opposite. it feels like being palmed off. I’d honestly rather receive nothing than have to fake gratitude for something that carries no thought.

Agree, its like you don't matter enough to give it thought, oh it'll do it's only x. Unwanted gifts should just go to charity shops or raffle prize collections. Bayliss and Harding exists purely for the passive aggressive to buy for people they don't really like.

I always get stuff like that, and I take it to the women’s shelter along with anything like PJs I don’t like.

If you are worried about the environmental impact then don't pour perfume down the sink. It's expensive and can easily be sold on if you don't want it.

When the DC were small and were attending constant birthday parties I regularly regifted unwanted gifts (usually doubles of things we already had). Seems perfectly reasonable to me and ten to fifteen years ago that was considered completely normal on here. Far better to regift than to throw away.

As far as gifts from friends go, I don't exchange gifts with friends, beyond small food or drink gifts when invited over. My family exchange books from our Amazon wish lists so no problem there. DH's family are the biggest issue because they are believers in choosing a perfect meaningful gift for the other person. Except, nobody does that, their own taste always intervenes. So, e.g. my family all have Amazon wishlists but I can predict what each person will buy me from my list based on their own tastes. My Mum is particularly bad for this (last year she complained my Amazon list was 'boring') and so my tennagersà now generate a 'suitable for Grandma' wishlist of things they know she'll be happy to buy.

I very rarely regift but I do end up getting loads of toiletries that I can't use. I end up just donating them to school/scout raffles the next year.

Got a regifted toiletry set in work once in a secret Santa. We knew who we had to buy for. The set was dusty and the date was so old I put it straight in the bin. The woman was on my team of 10 so we all earn the same n I was very offended