Do people really think their friends don’t notice re-gifted toiletries?

[MoustachaNatasha]

I know this will sound ungrateful, and I know the obvious answers are “just stop doing gifts,” “be glad you got anything at all,” or “maybe that’s all they can afford.” I get all of that, but that’s not really my question.
I always put thought into gifts I think my friends will genuinely like, but every year I seem to receive a random mix of toiletries or odds and ends that I can’t use, and feel too embarrassed to re-gift. Some of them are literally the free gifts you get when buying full sizes. They go straight into a cupboard and today I’m bagging them up to donate to my DD’s Christmas fair. It even crossed my mind that I’ll probably end up receiving something back from there in the next round of gifts.
So my actual question is: if you re-gift toiletries, do you honestly believe the recipient won’t notice, or do you just not care if they do?
Genuinely curious how others see this.

It's horrible to think of all the tat being produced and passed round. If we've been invited round to a friend for a meal or something we'll take wine/cheese/biscuits, but otherwise we don't really 'do' presents apart from grandchildren. We give our adult children money which is specifically for something special like a meal out/weekend away which we then babysit for. I just hate waste. Friends know this so wouldn't gift or re-gift.

This actually made me feel really sad! I wonder why 'Rachel' never even opened her gift.

Sorry, have I misunderstood? Your children buy you beautiful expensive presents that you can’t afford and you give them away to other people? Just why???

I’d wager that it does though. If all you’ve done is grab a random unwanted item out of your cupboard you’ve put no thought or effort into it at all. It’s rude. Just buy a gift or don’t give one at all.

Theres nothing wrong with passing on items you don’t want to someone who does, but don’t make out you’ve put any thought into it!! As a number of examples on this thread show, some people haven’t even bothered to check the gift enough to take off the label from when it was gifted to them!!

Stop buying for her! Please!

Whilst I absolutely agree with the sentiment that regifting is rude, the items you’ve described sound like they’re only fit for the bin, why on earth would you donate them to the Christmas fair?! Who wants a candle that’s so old the scent has gone, or perfume in a tatty box?!

JillMW · Today 14:53
My offspring arrive with beautiful expensive gifts that I could never afford. I take great joy in regifting to friends who I know would love the item. Usually I say but sometimes if I am expectedly going somewhere with a friend I might take them a bottle of Boli or a nicely packaged scent/ candle that I know they like and then I would not say as I usually leave it on their hall table as I leave.
i have friends who leave random gifts, sometimes with a raffle ticket attached. Lovely friends whom I love because of their personalities..

Don't know why people are saying this is sad @JillMW I think it's a lovely thing to do!

My 'friend' regifted my husband and I a board game for our wedding with the note still attached from when they were gifted it so I truly think some people just don't care

1. I don’t regift freebies. Exceptionally bad - unless I’m literally saying ”have this, I got it free”
2. I cannot remember ever regifting unwanted gifts but might it pass it on "would you like this, it’s not really my thing ” and not for a birthday or Xmas.
3. The ONLY time I "regift" is for my bookclub secret Santa/birthday gifts with a good book.

Unwanted toiletries or whatever get given to charity shops, given freely to friends who do like them or, donated to raffles.

My in-laws are the worst for regifting. My MIL doesn’t like me so her regifts have an extra element of passive aggression. So things like out of date chocolate, random shit from car boot sale, clothes that probably were her mother’s and the wrong size.

My DH gets broken power tools (FIL hoards tools), or if one actually works FIL will see it at our house later and take it back.

The DC get random shit from charity shops that were only bought because it was particularly cheap, and we know this because FIL tells us, not because the DC would like it.

I leave our gifts to them to DH to sort. After he gave them a well thought out hamper which must have given them the idea the next Christmas to give us a cardboard box with a few things from their fridge, he gave up and didn’t get them anything last year.

However, I also have to say - I once was also the ”I put a lot of time and thought into my presents” person but honestly, it’s all I can do to keep myself together most days and I just do not have the capacity to pour my energy into present buying or wrapping any more. So sorry for this but sometimes life smacks you in the face and it’s shit, but you have to take care of yourself and not worry about what people think. I’ve told friends not to bother and we’ll all just have a nice trip together instead.

Appalling OP. I'd rather not bother and just accept they're not gifters. Suggest a nice meal/day out instead.

This is incredibly bad form. It would be better for her to just suggest/agree not to buy gifts!

I cannot even.

The amount of toxic energy it would take to do this????? Awful.

Try having an early January birthday… all I ever get is regifted chocolates and toiletries…

The thoughtlessness, definitely.

Not a bad thing if you know the person will love them. I think you're in a minority, in that the examples on the thread are mostly pretty dire

Good for you that you have £10 plus to spend on the shit tonne of friends, family, work mates, kind neighbours etc who need gifts.
It’s hard when you are given decent gifts that would save a fortune ( especially if the recipient has more than enough stuff already).
Decent perfume in a tatty box is still decent perfume.
I understand a “ no thought” gift isn’t as nice as a thoughtful one but I realise people give stuff because it’s considered rude not to give gift.

This just comes across like you’re tight.

why on earth let them waste their money? They play off their gifts as your own? This is bizarre.

Heck cut out the middle man (you) and ask them tk send them directly to your friends. May as well get some of the credit for spending their money on your pals intentionally.

@bonbon249This is funny. You could go back and forth like a tennis match for years. Save a whole lot of bother too!

I have a friend lien that too. Once she even forgot to remove the small card-like thing in the gift box that was addressed to her from another friend 🤦🏻‍♀️ I hate gifts like that- I’d rather get nothing than performance garbage.

Absolutely get this, and have gone on to post that I am not in the OP mind space of thoughtful gifts either.

I have no issue with the regift - it's more about matching the gift with a recipient who'd actually want it.

My family set a £10 limit too. Often it's a jokey item. I'd be very happy to receive something homemade but I'm pretty crap at that stuff too.

I save up for beauty advent calendars, then re-gift the contents- usually several at a time, and in nice toiletry bags.

Im a bit worried that this will be viewed similarly now.

I think it's the thoughtlessness, and clearly you're gifting to friends you'll know will like and use the presents, so I'm sure it won't be x

I just don’t know how people are not embarrassed.

I could never ‘regift’ something, I’d either just take it to work and see if anybody wanted it, or donate it to the church fete. Bin if it was particularly bad.