Is my 6 year old strange?

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Came back from MIL’s home and I’m still seething about a comment she made: she basically said my son is funny (she meant weird funny) as he plays with dolls and has a kitchen. She asked me why he’s like that. I just smiled and said he’s caring and likes looking after his babies and he will be a wonderful father one day.

I just feel a little worried about her comments and really upset with her. Is my son strange? Did anyone also have sons who played with stereotypical “girl” toys? How did you manage comments? Did it upset you?

I’m not sure if it’s actually by Barbie but they do the whole set of dolls on Amazon! I’ve seen them on instagram as well but would likely trust buying from amazon more!

Not strange at all. At 6 he will still be role playing what he sees others do. If he sees other dad's (in real life or on the tv) pushing their baby's pram/pushchair, and putting them in or out of a car seat, why shouldn't he be the same. He has probably seen men cooking too. Nursery's, childcare settings, reception classes etc will have things such as dolls/pushchairs, kitchens, cars, construction areas etc and they will all be used by boys and girls. Lots of big brothers like to help look after a baby brother or sister, just of lots of big sisters do. There is nothing wrong with showing that you care for others. Men can be great nurses, teachers, carers, cooks etc even if some may still think of them as more women's job. In the same way women can be doctors, mechanics, plumbers etc

I'm not sure it is generational. My mum's nearly 80, she was a hippy in the 60s and is completely unbothered by people being gay.

Most boys like some traditionally girly things.. more or less depending on the child.

I'm not one to deny that there are average differences between the personalities of boys and girls. We aren't all blank-slates that are interchangeable, and most parents see early on the "average" differences between little boys and girls at that age.

But those differences are "average" differences, generalizations, and it is very very unlikely that any boy or girl will conform 100% to the most boy or girl expectations (unless they are forced by parents...)

My son is a good example, in most ways he is as "boy-ish" as they come. Swords guns, soilders, heros, battles, monsters, mess, mud, football etc. all your stereotypes...

But then on the other hand he loves making jewelry and playing with sparkly gems, and his right now he really likes pink+purple things... He asked to go to a little craft place that makes bracelets... all girls except him. had a great time. (then came home, and back to monster battles...)

For older generations, I would just smile and ignore.

Nothing wrong with it at all.I m 64 and look after my 2 grandchildren ; 1 m ,1 f.Both preschool.
At playgroup/ nursery all the children are encouraged to play with any toys and if you observe you ll notice plenty of boys love to play around the toy kitchen.
My son would play with his little sisters toys more than she would when he was a young child;
put on her play jewellery, comb little pony's hair, loved her little kitchen and dressing table.
I d have a word with MIL...very poor attitude and example she s setting to your son.
Explain to her that in childhood ,play is about experiencing and learning and interaction with other kids, enjoying and learning how to share toys.
The toys or playthings are not what's important.
It s the enjoyment and fun that is.
She must be very old fashioned and fixed in her thinking.

My DS14 always gravitated towards 'girls' toys, wore princess dresses when dressing up at home, grew up to have mainly girl friends and is a very sensitive, artistic and creative kid who can be quite stereotypically feminine. There's never been any suggestion of gender dysphoria but I'd be supportive whatever.
I've never encouraged or discouraged, just let him be who he is and to be proud of what a wonderful kid he's turned out to be. I think problems can start when you try to force children to play with toys they don't want to or to act differently, it gives them the idea that they aren't ok to be who they are. I have another DS20 who has always been into football, toy guns/action figures etc and that's ok too.

He is fine . As a child I invented a new name for me (Luigi) , wanted a motorcycle and wanted to be A boy even. I hated and never played with dolls. It was a phase . I am 44 now and look , nothing happened.

It's just some people get stuck on gender stereo type play.
They seem to forget men cook and clean and raise babies too

No of course he isn't strange, and his future sexuality has nothing to do with what kinds of toys he plays with!

I think I would tut or laugh and say "Don't be silly Mum, are you stuck in the 1950s? All the boys play with toy kitchens etc today - look at Gordon Ramsay, Jamie Oliver etc." Just gently mock her idea as being out of touch and she might realise what she's saying.

My brother is gay. He has a twin sister and me (female) so there was a whole range of toys at home, including toys that are more stereotypically for girls. He never played with dolls or Barbies and loved typically “boy” things like trains, cars, action figures (that he would pretend to have battles) and football. Still gay.

I have one of each and my DS will play “babies” with his little sister for hours - it is so sweet. They have both loved the play kitchen. DS wanted a pram when he was small and I remember my PILs insisted on buying him a blue one so it would be more boyish. As a 2 year old, he had seen both me and his dad regularly pushing him in the pram so why on earth would he assume it was a toy only for girls?!

Toys are for all children and the toys you play with have nothing to do with your sexuality. Perhaps you could explain this to your MIL and DH.

My ds is 20. He enjoyed playing with a buggy, rag doll and tea parties when little. He moved onto superheroes and scooters later on. Also, had an little electric motorbike. He did gymnastics, judo, karate, beavers, tech club, karate, swimming and theatre club. Kids don't have to be and shouldn't be defined by gendered activities. We never thought of anything ds did or liked as anything more than his interests and activities.
Ds is absolutely fantastic, very "male" and has lots of good qualities and is keen for a family of his own one day. He'll make a great dad.

Years ago, my mum once told me off for buying a nephew a child’s cookery book-“I know what you’re trying to do “. He’s grown up now and as it happens, is straight. If he’d been gay, she would likely have blamed me! Just ignore and carry on doing things your way.

Nice casual bit of ageism there.
I could say you're not very outward-looking, as you put it, you seem to club everyone together over a certain age.
I'm 63 my son had a pram a doll and a kitchen.
I could say your generation are bloody rude, but then I wouldn't as I treat people as individuals maybe you should try it sometime.

That's madness,an interest in cooking being encouraged and hinting it could make him gay.
We all have to eat male or female 🤯😂

My little brother had a play kitchen, ironing board and Hoover 35 years ago. He’s now about 10ft tall and in a very successful career and relationship (and employs a cleaner 😆).

Very normal for boys to play with dolls, and anyone who says a kitchen is a girls toy is a massive sexist idiot.
Any child can play or like or wear whatever they like.
And as for the “gay thing” toys don’t turn children gay, you know that’s absolute rubbish.
Let your son be who he is

ps my brother had a doll and played “tea parties” a lot with me when we were kids - he is not gay, not that it would matter if he was.

Just ignore her, literally the moment she opens her gob, zone out.

Just say oh right and change the subject.

Not every boy is made the same, you're raising an individual.

A relative of mine was born over 100 years ago into a rather poor family. He was given ONE present for every birthday and Christmas. Every time, over several years, he asked for a doll. He got his dolls;the family considered it a little unusual, but hardly weird. He grew up just fine; was a devoted husband and father; and lived to be 93.