Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is my 6 year old strange?

118 replies

Namechabgeforthis · 21/10/2025 21:54

Came back from MIL’s home and I’m still seething about a comment she made: she basically said my son is funny (she meant weird funny) as he plays with dolls and has a kitchen. She asked me why he’s like that. I just smiled and said he’s caring and likes looking after his babies and he will be a wonderful father one day.

I just feel a little worried about her comments and really upset with her. Is my son strange? Did anyone also have sons who played with stereotypical “girl” toys? How did you manage comments? Did it upset you?

OP posts:
Original poster
Namechabgeforthis · 21/10/2025 22:13

I just find it so adorable he loves his little baby so much! He’s so careful with it when he puts the doll in the car seat.

OP posts:
SilenceInside · 21/10/2025 22:13

I would be concerned about the sexism and homophobia from your DH and the idea that you’re somehow to blame for the normal development of your child. Did you know your DH had those kinds of views?

Nayyercheekyfeckers · 21/10/2025 22:14

Just tell her that he wants to be like Gordon Ramsey when he's older as he likes to play with kitchens too (then teach him some swear words to yell as he's cooking). That should shut her up.

Thejoyofdecluttering · 21/10/2025 22:16

Does your DH have sisters? Our 6 year old loves to play with his sister’s dolls when she’s not there.

JeminaTheGiantBear · 21/10/2025 22:19

My youngest son at 5 had a bright pink toy stroller he used to push teddies around in, a toy washing machine that he loved, a toy hoover he ‘hoovered’ with virtually every day (actually it did collect some fluff so this was quite useful) and lots of toy kitchen things and a toy cooker and food he would serve to us.

These were all things he chose himself, whereas his brothers were obsessive about toy cars (hot wheels!) in which he had no interest.

More than 10 years on that younger son is now mad about cars (real ones) and his eldest brother refuses to learn to drive but enjoys making cakes.

Your son is perfectly normal! And your MIL was cruel and silly. Please don’t let her make you self conscious about your dear boy who sounds really lovely.

Also tell your husband to get a grip! Kids have different interests at different stages. Your son won’t be playing with a toy kitchen at 11 - any more than my youngest at that age was still wheeling his pink stroller about. (A very entertaining image given by that stage he was really into football.)

Your son will quite naturally become interested over time in a whole range of things. Trying to direct his interests now, to ‘nip in the bud’ the games he likes playing, just out of some really old fashioned & restrictive idea about what is suitable for a boy, will just upset him & be completely pointless.

fratellia · 21/10/2025 22:21

Some of my older relatives are sadly very old-fashioned and rigid with their beliefs, I just ignore it and tell myself it’s their problem not mine.

Edenmum2 · 21/10/2025 22:23

I have a girl who likes to play with typical ‘boy’ things…my parents think it’s quirky and cute BUT I know my Dad would grumble if she was a boy playing with ‘girly’ things. It’s just some people who are stuck in that way of thinking. It sucks.

of course your son is not strange. Men cook right?? Why is a kitchen a girls toy? I’d be delighted if he was my son, he sounds great. I’m sorry that your MIL is a bit of a prick - but that’s her problem. And if your son asks about why she’s saying these things….just tell him that she has silly ideas about stuff but to not ever let that change him.

Edenmum2 · 21/10/2025 22:25

On another note - your DH sounds like a complete dick and I would be very concerned about what kind of toxic masculinity he’s planning to infiltrate your son with in the future

outerspacepotato · 21/10/2025 22:28

You might have a future chef or line cook in the making.

Lots of men enjoy cooking. Your MIL is weird and has some sexist stereotypes. Same with your husband, ew.

Criteria16 · 21/10/2025 23:07

Ignore! Your response was perfect. My DS at that age liked pink and green, dresses and dinosaurs and was obsessed with soft toys. Few years later he likes rainbows, Hot Wheels, Sonic and says his soft toys are his children. They get put to bed, he changes their nappies and cuddles them.
He’s just his very own person!

petermaddog · 21/10/2025 23:13

my brother stole my babies and put the inwith the gijes he had,he is the best dad and granddad.single parent too
also when was 3 would run naked down thestreet giggling and he knew i was the that had to chase him

IdRatherBeTalkingTudors · 21/10/2025 23:21

Absolutely nothing wrong or weird at all! My DS loved princess dresses and sparkly shoes until he was about 7, then out of nowhere became OBSESSED with football. They just are who they are!

Mama2many73 · 21/10/2025 23:26

Ofcourse its not an issue but I dont think it's just her generation as I've met many people male and female who think the same(your husband may secretly agree due to his comments)
I was an early years teacher and i once had a parent approach me and told me to stop his son playing with dolls and pushchairs. He must have been observing us on the playground . I asked why ( i knew exactly what his thinking was) and he said he 'didn't want him turning out like 'that'!'. I replied 'what ? Like you? Being a dad?' He spluttered a bit and i was sure he was going to say 'im not gay!!' but I pointed out that hes copying what he sees around him and dad always brought him to nursery with baby brother in his pushchair.

RoseAlone · 21/10/2025 23:27

My boys all had a mixture. From kitchens, dolls and prams to train sets and building sets. Your relative is the weirdo.

mikado1 · 21/10/2025 23:39

Mandylovescandy · 21/10/2025 21:57

Mine love pink and sparkly things and used to love dressing up in dresses. They played with dolls and kitchens as well as cars and train and Lego. The only thing that bothers me if someone else would pick on them for it, like some school friends teasing them about the colour of their stuff. Don't care if anyone comments to me

At a certain age I started to say 'You know some people might day pink is for girls which is very silly, but would it bother you?' I hated saying it but felt it was a preparation of sorts. He always replied 'No I don't care' and that was that. He's a sporty, v masculine teen now and still wears his pink! As many do (popular team strip!).
Great response OP. I said the same to my friend who was worrying about kitchen for a 2yo!! She said her husband might not like it.. I said why has he never made dinner? (He regularly cooks). Point was taken. Kitchen was bought.

80smonster · 21/10/2025 23:42

I used to cut the heads of my Barbies, does this make me a serial killer? Or was I just kidding around?

LadyMacbethssweetArabianhand · 22/10/2025 08:04

hiddeneverythin · 21/10/2025 21:55

No - it’s just that generation are not outward-looking. Nothing strange at all

Give it a rest with 'that generation ' crap!
Her mil could be in her 40s or 50s. I'm in my late 60s and don't think like that.
I think it's more of a mil problem. She obviously has stereotypes about what boys should and shouldn't do. I would ignore her.

sunshine244 · 22/10/2025 08:11

You have a dh and mil problem...

It is good to encourage nurturing types of role play. Otherwise how will boys grow up to naturally take on roles like parenting and housework.

My son's were never integrated in dolls, but looked after their cuddly toys in similar ways. They had a dolls buggy to take them around, and used to make slings too. They loved their play kitchen and baking with me,.and that interest in cooking has remained now older.

clinellwipe · 22/10/2025 08:14

My friend played with dolls when he was little and he is married with kids and has a phd. He’s fine. If he was gay he would also be fine.

MIL is absolutely the strange one here!!

HelloGreen · 22/10/2025 08:20

Sorry but I’d be furious at my DH for saying that. The homophobia and sexism is clear. What a shit role model for your son.

MyChocolateDiet · 22/10/2025 08:22

Nothing strange about him at all - and not all people of that generation think it strange (I'm late 60s).

MYOB12 · 22/10/2025 08:22

Both DS’s had a doll, pushchair, kitchen set up complete with ironing board and cleaning equipment! I mean it didn’t help encourage either to do any cleaning or ironing as they got older but it didn’t do either any harm! Eldest is now an adult with 2 DC of his own.

Jaweira · 22/10/2025 08:32

FBoys have ALWAYS enjoyed dolls - Toy Soldiers and Action Man are fundamentally dolls.

My ds grew up with his big sister’s toys so he always adored his inherited pink baby doll (who got renamed Lucas somewhere in the mix!).

Now he is 7 he has sadly decided he doesn’t like “girl toys” and denies that he ever did. I find it sad that now it’s all cars and light sabers and Minecraft.

On a quiet Sunday recently when I was feeling very poorly, he gently retired to his play corner and cooked me up a meal of plastic food on his toy barbecue set, got out his pink Doc McStuffins doctors kit, and looked after me.

I hope my sweet gentle boy stays in there somewhere, and that he will grow into an emotionally intelligent adult who doesn’t think we should be watching out for “warning signs of gayness” when kids are aged 6! Good grief 😂

Jaweira · 22/10/2025 08:35

Ps you need to track down Sean Lock’s little ditty and hum it to yourself when MIL starts giving you grief…

“When Johnny grows up he’ll be a soldier,
When Jimmy grows up he’ll be a sailer,
When Timmy grows up he’ll be a tailor,
And all the girls will be wives!
Washing up and cooking dinner, Washing up and cooking dinner, Washing up and cooking dinner,
Wives, Wives, Wives!!!”

ThatsNotMyNameAlan · 22/10/2025 08:38

Namechabgeforthis · 21/10/2025 22:01

I think she was hinting about the gay thing and her comments were edging towards that. My husband thinks I should nip things in the bud now and that I encourage him to behave like this! He chose the baby doll himself and I got him a car seat for his doll when we go on journeys.

Children who are very gender non conforming are more likely to turn out to be gay in later life.

My eldest son was very like yours and came out as gay at 14. Nobody was particularly surprised.

The question is - if your son DOES turn out to be gay later so what? Is it going to bother his father and his grandmother? Because those attitudes need to be explored and squashed now.