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AIBU?

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Original poster

Is my 6 year old strange?

118 replies

Namechabgeforthis · 21/10/2025 21:54

Came back from MIL’s home and I’m still seething about a comment she made: she basically said my son is funny (she meant weird funny) as he plays with dolls and has a kitchen. She asked me why he’s like that. I just smiled and said he’s caring and likes looking after his babies and he will be a wonderful father one day.

I just feel a little worried about her comments and really upset with her. Is my son strange? Did anyone also have sons who played with stereotypical “girl” toys? How did you manage comments? Did it upset you?

OP posts:
LavenderBlue19 · 22/10/2025 15:40

Does your husband not do any childcare or cooking? How very strange, if he doesn't.

I would mainly be concerned about how he'll react if your son does turn out to be gay - not that it's any more or less likely because of what he plays with, obviously. But if your husband is going to have a problem with that (or with him perhaps having gay friends) you need to nip that in the bud right now, before your son is old enough to understand comments.

DaisyChain505 · 22/10/2025 16:05

Of course he’s not bloody strange. Your MIL is just living in the sexist Stone Age.

whatsit84 · 22/10/2025 16:06

Not weird at all. I was worried about my 6 year old (at the time) future ability to be a father when he dragged his doll around by the neck 🤣🤪

Hotflushesandchilblains · 22/10/2025 16:11

hiddeneverythin · 21/10/2025 21:55

No - it’s just that generation are not outward-looking. Nothing strange at all

As someone who is probably from 'that generation' this is bullshit. Women in their 60s were all about being able to live how you wanted without following norms - younger generations are far more rules bound IME. In the 90s, trying to find baby clothes they were all designed to be unisex - now its all pink and blue.

In any case, its also bloody rude to comment on a child like that.

ShodAndShadySenators · 22/10/2025 16:20

I had older brothers and played with Action Man*, toy guns and toy soldiers as well as the dolls' house and farm animals and Fisher Price. No playthings makes a child one way or another, it's just toys and playing. He may lose interest in time, he may not. Doesn't matter. Tell her to wind her neck in, he's simply learning through harmless play.

*Action Man had MUCH better accessories than Sindy did, imo.

Rubes24 · 22/10/2025 16:28

Its completely normal for boys to play with dolls and kitchen toys etc. It is also normal for girls to play with racing cars and trains etc. However I would be very concerned by your husbands homophobia and the implication that playing with 'girls toys' will lead him to be gay. Obviously it won't, but most importantly would your husband be very unhappy if this son was gay?! This would really worry and upset me- he should support and love his child no matter what their interests and personality are and who they decide that they are attracted to later down the line!

Scully01 · 22/10/2025 16:33

I have two boys, got them both a babydoll, buggy and a kitchen when they were toddlers. This stuff pisses me off. Kids should be able to play with any age appropriate toy they want.

TreeDudette · 22/10/2025 16:37

My friend's son wanted to play princesses with my daughter when they were about this age. His mum was a good egg and bought him his dream dress. He was Belle and my daughter was Cinderella. For weeks they'd both wear their dresses at home, out on play dates etc.. He had a kitchen, babies etc.. too. He is now a brawny Scottish 14 year old young man. He is perfectly well adjusted and shows no signs of wanting to wear a dress. Your son is fine, let him play with whatever he wants!

ahoyshipmate · 22/10/2025 16:40

Your DH is the problem here!

FamBae · 22/10/2025 16:46

My dd had a garage and ds loved pushing a doll in a toy pushchair, used to deck himself out in strings of beads as well. He's now a great dad who loves a game of rugby. But what is really sad is that your child is growing up in a homophobic environment. Your going to have to adjust the balance as he gets older op.

Btowngirl · 22/10/2025 16:50

Namechabgeforthis · 21/10/2025 22:01

I think she was hinting about the gay thing and her comments were edging towards that. My husband thinks I should nip things in the bud now and that I encourage him to behave like this! He chose the baby doll himself and I got him a car seat for his doll when we go on journeys.

Really strange that anyone is worried about or considering a 6 year olds sexuality. I’d be concerned about her or your partner saying any of this wild outdated stuff in front of your son.

Walkingthedog46 · 22/10/2025 16:58

When my daughter was about 18 months old we were in the garden and she had in her hand one of those tiny little ‘Dinky’ type car. My neighbour looked over the fence and commented on the fact my daughter was carrying this little car. She then asked if my little one also liked dolls and when I said that she did, the neighbour replied ‘ oh that’s good, she’s quite normal then’. I was speechless!

TheExcitersblowingupmymind · 22/10/2025 19:57

Namechabgeforthis · 21/10/2025 22:01

I think she was hinting about the gay thing and her comments were edging towards that. My husband thinks I should nip things in the bud now and that I encourage him to behave like this! He chose the baby doll himself and I got him a car seat for his doll when we go on journeys.

Fgs playing with dolls and kitchen toys won't make him catch the gay
There was a similar thread,a wee boy wanted a pink bike and the dad was against it alluding the pink bike could have gay connotations honestly where do these dinosaurs get their ideas from.

jalepenowine · 22/10/2025 20:06

Course it’s not strange. She just comes from a different time and is closed minded.

I’ve got a six year old who is go-karting mad and wants to get into formula one, a right high-speed devil who knows everything about cars….he has asked for a k-pop demon Barbie doll for Xmas! They like what they like!

Coffeetime25 · 22/10/2025 20:10

long as he not wearing dresses and has girlish haircut then I don't see a problem

CinnamonCinnabar · 22/10/2025 20:11

Birdwordie · 21/10/2025 22:10

My son is the same age and asks for his nails painted, likes to play cafe and role play being a baby etc. He used to have a baby before it randomly creeped him out. His favourite colours are sparkly and loves rainbows. I think its normal 6 year old behaviour, boy or girl. They're still so young it really hadn't crossed my mind there's something off with him. I think you should ignore such comments, you know in your heart there's nothing strange about your child so tell her to stick it next time

Aw my son has grown out of playing shops now and I kind of miss it!
Agree that this is entirely normal role play behaviour and sadly it sounds like there is some homophobia in the family.

Greenwitchart · 22/10/2025 20:14

Your MIL is the one who is being weird...

LouH1981 · 22/10/2025 20:15

No, but it’s absolutely something my MIL would also say.
Presumably it’s perfectly normal for your husband to cook and take care of his children so why wouldn’t your son copy what his parents do?
Some of that generation drive me nuts!

LouH1981 · 22/10/2025 20:17

jalepenowine · 22/10/2025 20:06

Course it’s not strange. She just comes from a different time and is closed minded.

I’ve got a six year old who is go-karting mad and wants to get into formula one, a right high-speed devil who knows everything about cars….he has asked for a k-pop demon Barbie doll for Xmas! They like what they like!

They do a K-Pop Barbie doll?! My 6 year old would love this!!

TheExcitersblowingupmymind · 22/10/2025 20:18

CinnamonCinnabar · 22/10/2025 20:11

Aw my son has grown out of playing shops now and I kind of miss it!
Agree that this is entirely normal role play behaviour and sadly it sounds like there is some homophobia in the family.

Show quote history

My the playing shoppies (Scotland)
Takes me back over 50+years ago.
Using a low wall as a counter with various bits of junk lined up for sale.😁

TryingToFigureItOut2 · 22/10/2025 20:18

Just say "pull yourself together"

lackingfestiveinspo · 22/10/2025 20:19

My almost 6 year old happily plays dolls & with the toy kitchen with his younger sister.
Equally, she will play with his toy cars and in the mud. Toys are just toys.

Birdwordie · 22/10/2025 20:26

CinnamonCinnabar · 22/10/2025 20:11

Aw my son has grown out of playing shops now and I kind of miss it!
Agree that this is entirely normal role play behaviour and sadly it sounds like there is some homophobia in the family.

Show quote history

I think in the age of tech its important to keep the imagination alive, who cares what they're into as long as they're happy and safe. Its odd for the MIL to inadvertently suggest the poor boy is gay he's 6 for crying out loud. How is he supposed to act?! But yes I agree its so lovely to watch them play/role play!

ADHDwifeHP · 22/10/2025 20:26

SilenceInside · 21/10/2025 22:13

I would be concerned about the sexism and homophobia from your DH and the idea that you’re somehow to blame for the normal development of your child. Did you know your DH had those kinds of views?

This. This. This. There such a danger that your ds will pick up that his dad doesn’t like him…

JLou08 · 22/10/2025 20:31

It's a generational thing. Completely normal these days for children to play with whatever they like regardless of gender. My brother would've been discouraged from playing with anything 'girly' though. My dad did make a comment about my little boy playing with a pram, nothing like your MIL, just saying that used to be frowned upon.