Cancelling First Date Help?!

[CheeseSandwich1]

I (late 20’s) met someone (late 30’s) on a dating app.

Talked, swapped numbers and a couple of days later he asked if I’d like to go on a date. I agreed and he suggested a very, very nice place. I let him know I didn’t expect to go somewhere like that for a first date but he said he was more than happy to go and that it would be ‘his treat’.

I now want to cancel the date. He seems lovely but I feel a bit inferior after talking more and my confidence is lacking. The only problem is I’ve looked on the website and he will have paid a hefty deposit to secure the booking. I feel awful if I cancel as he’ll lose that money.

What do I do?! Just go and get it over with?! Or cancel?!

Hi OP,

Rather than cancelling, could the restaurant booking be postponed until you know each other a bit better? Surely the restaurant would be happy to move the date?

I suggest going on a coffeee date / walk in the park date first.

You should never compare yourself to others, you have alot to offer and need to love and appreciate yourself first before anyone can love and appreciate you.

Also why would someone with wealth look down on someone from an ordinary background?

Never underestimate yourself and don’t prejudge a man you never met because he has money.

Take it slow and trust your intuition and don’t be ruled by fears.

Some nice jewellery and classic clothing can just be as nice as tight and short skin revealing items, better even. Who needs Love Island types for a LTR anyway, those relationships are not based on importance values the majority of the time.

Good luck and best wishes 🧚🏼💐🌸

This, I wouldn't worry I wasn't 'good enough', but I would worry it might come with 'strings attached'. Not that you are of course under an obligation, but the concept might make me uncomfortable and not really enjoy the date. It also depends a bit on the messaging phrasing, if its 'I have been wanting to try that place for ages, it my treat if thats ok with you' would me much better than 'I can afford it and I'm paying so that where we are going' type.

@Bushmillsbabe This. One guy I was dating (after a number of dates before) offered to take me to London for the weekend - restaurant, show, hotel etc. Despite my better judgement I agreed and then when we came home he actually said "I did all this for you and didn't get any @@@!"
I dumped him with immediate effect!

This is such an irritating post. You’ve flattened people into stereotypes: the self-made man with money, the Love Island type girl, the horsey country sort, and the light-tan, lash-lift, cashmere brigade. People are more than clichés.

I just don’t understand the urge to paint people with such broad brushstrokes. He’s seen what you look like. You’ve seen what he looks like. You’ve chatted. You like each other. You’re going on a date. You’ve eaten in enough Michelin-starred restaurants, by your own account, because you’re a foodie. So wear what you’d normally wear and act how you’d normally act. If you can’t or don’t want to, then don’t. Cancel the date. He’ll cope.

If you've been to many michelin starred places then you should know exactly what to wear. The same as you usually wear to them. If you think that women are turning up to that type of restaurant in "tiny dresses", then I suspect you haven't been to as many as you suggest.

If he wanted the high heels lips botox etc surely he would have gone for that.
He saw your pic
He liked it
Go!

if you’re taking about what wealthy men ‘normally go for’, they go for looks and youth. You’ve already ticked one box being 10 years younger. He’s seen your pics so obviously thinks you tick the second box. A rich man doesn’t need a rich woman.

@CheeseSandwich1 When is this date and did you go/are you going?