Feeling guilty at selling Jewellery

[crazydoglover]

My late Dh worked in far East for many years.
we had good life, travelled till I had DS (now an adult. )
I am a year from retirement, we live in an older house that I’ve no intent on leaving unless in a box Ds lives at home
But it needs fair bit doing to it, as Dh passed away 12 years now so I’ve worked part time till son left uni. Sort of overlooked repairs to house . Here’s the thing, Dh bought me lots of jewellery over the 20 years we had together, and now I think it’s time to sell most of it, as the insurance is ££££ and when I am on pension money will be less than now.
I will keep few bits I love. But I’ve never worn most of it. Another family member my sis says I am dishonouring Dh memory but I got no Dd to leave it to .
I know Sis thinks I should give it her, she is a walking jewel shop!

But I will need the money , I’ve had it valued at 2 places and honestly was astonished at the value . You could buy a new car with it!
So I want to sell. Invest most of it in safe place to give a income
Sis is making right row out of it. Wish I had never said anything. Do I go ahead. Whatever she thinks. Ds don’t care. I got his dads things on side for him
opinion please

YANBU, sell it and enjoy the money, I'm sure your DH would want you to.

Your sister is a grasping twat, don't give her so much as a bean!

You’re right

I looked after my DMIL for 10 years, she had Alzheimer’s. Her sisters never visited. When she died she left me her jewellery. I sold it and bought a summer house. You can imagine their opinions. I don’t feel any guilt, I did the right thing when she was alive. Now I’ll do the right thing for me.

Well I never met your husband but I'm pretty sure he didn't buy it for you so you could give it to your sister.
You are keeping the pieces that mean something to you. And you are using the rest so you can keep your family home. I'm sure that would mean a lot to your husband.
What it's got to do with your sister I really don't know.
(Well I do. It's got nothing to do with her, hth)
Don't let her bully you x

I have never met your dh but I can tell you exactly what my mum would say if I inherited family jewellery from her:-

Don’t be ridiculous darling. Just sell the bloody lot of it, do something that will make you happy with the money and think of me while you are being happy.

Your DH bought it for you because he loved you, He would not want you to keep hold of it when the money would help you!

FWIW, My dad has bought my mum lots of jewellery over the years, and when mum has jokingly said she will sell it all and buy a Lamborghini (you've never et a less Lamborghini woman in your life 😃) when he's gone, my dad is adamant that she DOES sell it all and go crazy "Because its no good sitting in a box!"

Why on earth does your sister think it has anything to do with her 😆. It belongs to you. If she cares so much about it she could buy it off you.

Sister sounds very very selfish and toxic

Tell her she can have it if she pays full value for it! Otherwise ignore her and sell it!

I will keep few bits I love. But I’ve never worn most of it. Another family member my sis says I am dishonouring Dh memory but I got no Dd to leave it to .
I know Sis thinks I should give it her, she is a walking jewel shop!

She is both cheeky and greedy. Your DH would want what’s best for you, no question, and he’d trust your judgment

The absolute cheek of it, of course sell it and do whatever you like with the money, cheeky cow!

Your DH would want you to be comfortable, I’d sell! It’s not for your sister to decide upon.

I’m sorry you lost your husband, he sounds lovely. Just sell the jewellery and never mention the subject to your sister again (so cheeky).

Maybe ask ds if he wants to pick out a piece for a future partner.

I suspect this thread will be 100% yanbu.

Ignore your sister! Do what you want with it.

If you sell the jewellery and the money makes your life more comfortable now and in the future it will be like your husband has given you a wonderful present all over again. You're doing the right thing OP.

If you bought a car with the money would she expect you to hand that over the cheeky beggar

It's your jewellery. You're not wearing it and certainly not giving it away! She's just saying those things so she can get her mitts on it.

It's all yours to sell and enjoy the proceeds.

Of course you should sell it if you want. However I would hold onto one or two items to sell in the future too.

I sold a few pieces of gold two years ago. Didn’t really need the money but didn’t particularly want to hold on to the jewelry. It’s now worth twice as much. Thankfully I kept the majority of it including the 22 and 24ct . I plan on selling some more soon as gold prices are so high but I will keep some to sell in the future. The price may go down of course.

Your sister is outrageous.

It’s none of her business. She needs to wind her neck in and STFU.

What honours your marriage most is continuing to thrive and be stable, and continuing to keep a home for your Ds as long as he needs it.

Keep the pieces you love, sell what you don’t need and invest it in the security that you know your DH would cherish for you.

In past, women were given jewellery to be able to sell it if they needed money.

He gave you something pretty back in time with value for when you need it.
If you sell it now and use it to fix your home, the jewellery will serve it's purpose, making your life better and making your DS's life better.
Sounds absolutely fine.

Sell it to your sister if she's that keen - two birds, one stone. If the money will help you make required repairs to your home, your husband would support this. No one who loves you would wish you to struggle. Has the relationship with your sister always been difficult?

Tell her to fuck off! Nothing to do with the grabby cow!

I’ve got my GM wedding ring of 66 years and my mums jewellery, she was killed in an accident at 69 several years ago. I wear one ring of hers. The rest is gold and not my style. I have no DD. It’s on my mind to sell but I just can’t bring myself to do it yet. No doubt I will at some point.

Get it sold, enjoy the money and take pleasure knowing that your late DH would have wanted you to be secure.

Let her buy it from you if she wants it

Your DH wanted to treat you, he will be happy if you are. Sell away