Feeling guilty at selling Jewellery

[crazydoglover]

My late Dh worked in far East for many years.
we had good life, travelled till I had DS (now an adult. )
I am a year from retirement, we live in an older house that I’ve no intent on leaving unless in a box Ds lives at home
But it needs fair bit doing to it, as Dh passed away 12 years now so I’ve worked part time till son left uni. Sort of overlooked repairs to house . Here’s the thing, Dh bought me lots of jewellery over the 20 years we had together, and now I think it’s time to sell most of it, as the insurance is ££££ and when I am on pension money will be less than now.
I will keep few bits I love. But I’ve never worn most of it. Another family member my sis says I am dishonouring Dh memory but I got no Dd to leave it to .
I know Sis thinks I should give it her, she is a walking jewel shop!

But I will need the money , I’ve had it valued at 2 places and honestly was astonished at the value . You could buy a new car with it!
So I want to sell. Invest most of it in safe place to give a income
Sis is making right row out of it. Wish I had never said anything. Do I go ahead. Whatever she thinks. Ds don’t care. I got his dads things on side for him
opinion please

I got my son a gold coin for his 18th with his year of birth on. It’s sentimental but if he ever needs/ wants to sell it then that’s fine. So if he is struggling with bills or he just wants to go on a nice holiday with his friends that he would miss out on otherwise then I’ve told him it’s fine to sell it. It’s a gift. It’s for the recipient to do what they like with.

You can do what you like with it but in your shoes I would sell it and get some house repairs done then it’s sort of like your husband is looking after you/ making life easier.

Its absolutely none of your sisters business.

So your sister thinks that your husband would have rather you didn’t have money to make repairs and keep jewellery you don’t even wear?

And service that jewellery that you don’t wear by paying for insurance?

That can’t be what she thinks because it makes absolutely no sense at all. And you already suspect her real reason for saying what she’s saying.

Making the suggestion that she knows what your husband would have wanted more than you do is an outrage.

Wow! Did the 2% who thought you were being unreasonable have fat fingers!

My Mother was a jewellery person. She would always give me jewellery for significant birthdays. I’m not a jewellery person. My career over the years has never really made it appropriate. However, my Mother never really understood this, all women like and wear jewellery - of course they do.

At one point in my marriage we were looking to get together some cash. Whilst I didn’t have the emotional attachment that you do to your jewellery (or a nasty grabby sister looking to get her sticky hands on it…), I had no hesitation about selling it. I kept a garnet ring with a missing stone that my Gran gave me.

Sell it. It’s yours to do what you want with. Asking your DS if he wants to pick a piece for a future partner is a lovely idea too. Keep your greedy sister well out of it, it has nothing to do with her.

Absolutely sell it.

Your sister is a grabby twat.

Not a thing to do with her. Also, this is not even an ethical dilemma or something to agonise over. Carry on OP and make it clear to her that you won't be discussing it, and while you don't want to fall out about it, if she brings it up that's a real risk. If she pushes it despite the warning, then she's shown what really matters to her.

Sell it.

Your DH would rather you were comfortable in retirement than holding onto jewellery you don’t wear. Think of the money you get for it as one last gift from your husband.

Your sister is being a grabby git.

I'd be inclined to tell my sister I'd had a long hard think about her suggestion of giving your jewellery away, watch her eyes light up, then tell her you've given it to a charity that helps the sort of people she judges the most. But I'd do that after you've sold it and safely deposited or spent the money. And I'd stick with discussing the weather in any future conversations you may be unfortunate enough to have with her.

Well your sister can buy what she wants from you for the same price the jeweller offered if she wants it that much.

I do understand your problem though, I have some jewellery inherited from my mother which I'm never going to wear, nor my daughters, I need to sell it but somehow I can't quite bring myself to do it... I'm recently widowed myself and if my husband had bought me lots of jewellery over the years that I never wore, I know I would find that even harder to sell on!

Your dh would want you to be comfortable, not saving it for your grabby sister.

Edited to add, I lost the diamond from my engagement ring, dh wasn't overly bothered I was distraught, I don't think men generally are overly sentimental about possessions. Ps we found the diamond 😁

Arghh pressed the wrong button. YANBU! It's not disrespectful. You can only wear so much . It's a shamr it's sat away not being enjoyed. Let someone else have the joy. Xx

Fat fingers 😂…thought so…

Mine get like that when I’m asked to prioritise yukky jobs that need doing around the house.

He probably thought it was an investment and it is, in you and your future. Sell it. And be as happy as you can be in your home.

Offer to sell the jewellery to your sister, for what the shops offered to pay. If she says no, then sell to the shops.
It's up to you what is done with the jewellery.

She’s just jealous sell it

I would tell her that if she wants it she buys it from you at full price

just tell her you are not dishonouring his memory, he would want you to use the jewellery to help maintain the house if that’s the only funds you have

Go for it. Sister is a CF. Keep some of your favourites and sell the rest x

Sell it and maybe keep some of the pieces that have more of a significance to you in terms of memories.

I’d not mention it to your sister again.
If any of the jewellery consists of natural diamonds you could switch the natural diamonds out for lab grown diamonds at a fraction of the cost plus it would massively reduce the insurance cost.

Also, you might want to check your valuations if you want to hang on to some of the jewellery. Some valuations are ‘vanity valuations’ and are not representative of how much it would cost to buy new jewellery. (Especially if you are happy to use lab grown diamonds)

What on earth has it got to do with your sister. Tell her to fuck off (politely if you must).

Sell it but first take lots and lots of photos of the items. Maybe get a photo album and create a lovely memory book xx

Ah OP don’t feel bad x
You’re doing it cause you have to do it , you’re keeping some bits aren’t you 🤷🏻‍♀️..
Your dh would want you to , you’ve discussed with your son & as you’ve said you have his dads bits kept for him ..
All that matters is your son & you & forget everyone else ..
I’m sorry you lost your dh x

It’s your jewellery! Sister is being entitled and grabby. I would keep favourites and let DS choose something for a future wife. Sell the rest and let the money make you comfortable.
I have a few very valuable pieces from my grandmother. I doubt I’ll ever sell them but glad to know they’re there just in case. My DSis does not know about two of them and I’ve lied to her about the value of something else, she’d feel entitled to half the market price!

Jewellery is meant to be worn. Honour your husband’s memory by allowing someone else to get joy from it in the knowledge that it is making you more comfortable

Sell it and enjoy the security it gives you.
Nothing to do with your sister.
Don't give her any information x

What’s your sister got to do with it?