Feeling guilty at selling Jewellery

[crazydoglover]

My late Dh worked in far East for many years.
we had good life, travelled till I had DS (now an adult. )
I am a year from retirement, we live in an older house that I’ve no intent on leaving unless in a box Ds lives at home
But it needs fair bit doing to it, as Dh passed away 12 years now so I’ve worked part time till son left uni. Sort of overlooked repairs to house . Here’s the thing, Dh bought me lots of jewellery over the 20 years we had together, and now I think it’s time to sell most of it, as the insurance is ££££ and when I am on pension money will be less than now.
I will keep few bits I love. But I’ve never worn most of it. Another family member my sis says I am dishonouring Dh memory but I got no Dd to leave it to .
I know Sis thinks I should give it her, she is a walking jewel shop!

But I will need the money , I’ve had it valued at 2 places and honestly was astonished at the value . You could buy a new car with it!
So I want to sell. Invest most of it in safe place to give a income
Sis is making right row out of it. Wish I had never said anything. Do I go ahead. Whatever she thinks. Ds don’t care. I got his dads things on side for him
opinion please

This 100%.

I have some jewellery I will never sell, some are inheritance pieces. Whomever I leave them to, I want them to enjoy them, and if that means selling them for something they want or need more...that would make me happy too.

My grandson has already had my engagement ring to give to his own fiancé...(it didn't fit me anymore and my OH didn't mind a bit)

I hope the OP sells, gets a good price, and enjoys the money her lovely husband has enabled her to have after his death,

it is quite simply none of your sister’s business. Your H bought the jewellery as gifts for you, and I’m sure he would want you to use the items as you see fit.

This is a perfect example of why you should not talk about £££ to others unless you are absolutely certain that they will not try to muscle in!

It's none of her business. He didn't give them to her.

Agree with other posters, offer to sell it to her at an inflated price or tell her to get lost lol!

Your plan sounds very sensible. Why struggle in retirement with lots of shiny expensive things sitting in a box? The only opinions that matter here are yours and your DS's.

Absolutely none of your sister's business. You need money to continue living in the house and have the means to release funds. It's your decision only as no one else is going to come forward with any funds needed.
Sounds like it's gold jewellery with a high gold content if it was bought in the far East and gold is soaring in price at the moment. My bil worked in the middle East years ago and they considered any gold less than 18ct not worth having.
I would keep your sister on a low information diet going forward.

I know Sis thinks I should give it her,

Why would you give jewellery your husband bought you to your sister? I don't even get why she would think that might happen?

Even if she were your dh’s sister it would be nothing to do with her. But as she’s your sister it’s doubly nothing to do with her!

Cos she is a controlling madam. Had many a falling out over years.

Sell and tell her nothing from now on!

I am sure your DH would be as happy to know the jewellery helped provide a nice home when you needed it.

Your sister is outrageous.

Sell the jewellery and do the work on the house that needs doing. Use the money to put comfort around you and enjoy the jewellery that way.

I am so sorry you lost your DH - it sounds like he was a lovely person.

Don’t mention it to her again - sell the jewellery and tell her to mind her own business.

Do not give it to your sister. It really has nothing to do with her. It doesn’t sound like she has your best interests at heart. Sell it, if you need to. Put in your pension, and am sure DH will
approve, as the money will go towards looking after you in retirement

Tell your grabby sister to go do one. Its your jewellery and so you decide what you want to do with it. If you need the money to make repairs to your house, then so be it. The house isnt going to fix itself. What has it got to do with your sister anyway that she should have YOUR jewellery whixh YOUR HUSBAND bought for YOU.

Tell her that you dont recall your husband buying it for her. Shes very likely seen the value and £ signs. Price of gold has shot up so much recently.

Your mistake is that you tell her too much. It's absolutely nothing to do with her. You could always say that that's what he told you you should do with it. You could also say shut up it's nothing to do with you!

The jewellery you keep, if your DS does not want them there them to a charity and definitely tell your grabby sister about it

This is an easy one. Keep the jewellery you love and wear. Have the items you don’t wear valued by at least two sources, preferably recommended. Do some research on the price of gold and if possible you can quietly take it to a bullion dealer in person. This will reduce your insurance and give you some funds to do up the house if that’s your goal. Your hubby sounds lovely. Good luck.

You can take lovely photos, thank your late DH for the gift and the memoeries. And then send the lovely pieces off to their new homes to bring more joy to someone who will wear them

Now is a really good time to sell gold, its literally at record high prices. (Diamonds not so much)

I hope this is not insulting or rude, but just checking your valuation was for re-sale, not insurance. An insurance valuation is based on full retail price should you need to replace like for like, and would likely be a lot higher than a sale valuation.

Check bullion dealer websites (pressman master melts, or Cookson) for current gold prices so you know roughly what to expect. If you take it somewhere ask how much per gram they are offering so you can reference against other places and that days price.

Sell it and if your sister asks about it just say you don't want to discuss it. In a way it's lovely because he's still looking after you.

I would not feel any guilt or regret. The jewellery was given with love. You cant eat it and it wont keep you warm in winter. So Im sure DH would be pleased that you were using it for practical purposes.

My grandmother died in 1979 and left me the contents of her house and her jewellery. The house was to be sold so I had to quickly arrange a house clearance. No one in the family appreciated the contents but I already had some knowledge of the antiques market. It was a lot of hard work disposing of the contents in auctions and later in antiques fairs. The relatives offered me no help but were not happy when they learned how much it had gone for. I have gradually sold the jewellery over the years although I did keep one of two pieces to remember her by. Gradma knew I wanted to go to uni as a mature student so the money went in a good cause - to fulfill a life time ambition.

Wow, your sister is beyond. Sell it and enjoy the security. Price of gold has never been higher so there's never been a better time to sell x

Wow. I have the measure of your sister by her self-serving comments 😒
I’d hazard a guess that this isn’t the first time she’s decided it should all be about her.
So sorry for your loss. You know your husband would absolutely want you to use the jewellery to help keep you comfortable in your home.
Your sister sounds unsupportive and awful. Please put yourself first for a change, you are doing nothing wrong 🩷

Sell the jewellery, if your dh had wanted his sister in law to have jewellery he would have bought her some. He didnt so its none of her business.

However, why dont you consider downsizing if the house is too big too much to maintain? Im assuming you are in your mid sixties? You could live 20+ years once you have sold the jewellery and spent the money you will have to fund the running costs and any other maintenance that might crop up on a reduced income. How will that be funded?
Also does your adult son contribute to the house costs?