Going out - what's reasonable?

[KingdomCome1]

NC for this in case it gets read by other half.

Not after any comment or discussion on my situation, just interested in what people believe is reasonable in this situation.

Partner A WFH full time. Works hard, quite a lot of pressure.
Partner B SAHM to a preschooler. No childcare used as we don't need it and prefer not to.

Both partners in full agreement over working status. Both partners have limited time available to them to pursue personal interests.

Partner A usually goes to bed early but sometimes wants to go for an evening walk, though may not decide this until the last minute.

Partner B has a hobby. Partner B doesn't usually have to leave the house for the hobby before the child is in bed in the evening and has, TBF, deliberately engineered it this way. Partner B could go out earlier but doesn't to prevent Partner A being left to do bedtime. There are some occasions where leaving before bedtime has been inevitable though.

The child is usually an excellent sleeper and very good at bedtime but once in a blue moon can be unexpectedly challenging.

How many evenings per week do you consider it would be reasonable for Partner B to go out for their hobby in this particular set up / situation. Neither partner wishes to be unreasonable but the amount that Partner B would like to go and do the hobby is causing conflict.

I’d say about twice a week is reasonable, but it depends on if B is going out any other evenings in the week; I’m assuming that they’re not.

I think a couple of times a week is reasonable.

Letters are confusing, just say who is who

Couple of times a week is reasonable

It's literally A and B.

No, they're not. It's literally for their hobby.

How long are they out for? If it's a half hour jog, its fair for them to go out a lot more than if it's an entire evening.

Is the hobby dangerous? Or disrespectful?

Depends on what the hobby is.

It's a whole evening - leaving 7:30ish returning 22:30ish.

Twice a week.

No, not in the least.

what thoughtful and considerate partners you are.
two evenings a week seems reasonable.

3 times? It doesn't sound like much else is happening apart from the evening walk, so as long as A can go for the walk at least every other evening there shouldn't be too much of an issue. How long is B out for with the hobby?

What’s causing the conflict? It doesn’t sound like it’s the child’s bedtime - is it lack of time together if B wants to be out all evening most days, for example? Or is it that A doesn’t feel like they’re able to go out for the same amount of time? Is the hobby expensive?

I know but my brain kinda switches off if i cant visualise who's who

If partner B pulls his their weight in the family then maybe 3 times?

It’s all rather subjective. It should be what each partner is happy with. Partner A and B should talk.

My wife’s hobby means she’s outside all evenings, and then part of the weekends (each day). I do my hobby either in the day and then the spare space on weekends.

I tend to do most evening child care routine.

I married my wife and encourage her hobby, but we discussed ages ago how it works for us. I know plenty who wouldn’t like our arrangement.

In guessing you're B, it partly depends on the hobby to me, does it need to be done several times a week like a team sport to not let others down or solitary like running or something individual

I'd say max twice a week. It starts to bring the strength of a relationship in to question if one partner is choosing to do the same hobby rather than spending time with their partner one you're getting to 3 or 4 nights per week.

Once would be reasonable i think, twice feels a but sad in terms of time left together as a couple, especially should the other partner want some equivalent time out.

Twice a week I would say. I’d be really quite annoyed if my partner went out 3 or more nights a week for the whole evening.

This.

Two nights a week is probably the max I’d be okay with because that way one gets two nights for hobby, the other gets two nights for their walk, and you still have 3 nights for family/couple time.

The hobby is solitary. It's done with others but nobody is dependent on anyone else being there. B can leave anytime (though would rather not) and can be back in approx 40 minutes.

Conflict is that A feels that they should not feel constrained to the house when B wants to go out. They also don't feel they should have to manage difficulties with the child should they arise (once in a blue moon). The conflict also comes if the hobby evenings are close together or consecutive. For clarity, B isn't proposing more than 2-3 times a week.

2-3 I'd say, so long as the hobby isn't so emotionally or physically exhausting that they're not able to be a supportive and available partner the rest of the time, or a huge drain on the family finances. A should obviously be given equal opportunities to have free time away from chores and parenting duties even if it isn't for a hobby - if they each take a couple of evenings (or equivalent weekend time) a week, that leaves 1-3 evenings plus weekend daytimes for housework, spending time as a family all together, visiting wider family and friends plus some couple time which seems a fair balance...