Horrified by DD’s new boyfriend

[Rosesspring]

I know this sounds terribly judgemental but I can’t help but feeling my DD can do so much better.

She has a new boyfriend - she has sent a photo of him (we haven’t met yet). Covered in tattoos - including his neck. He is currently out of work and lives with his parents on one of the local estates which has a dreadful reputation.

Do I just keep my mouth shut and hope it doesn’t go anywhere?

I couldn't have putt it better myself.

i think the only exception would be if he was in prison for rape/chikd sbuse/murder etc. and even then only him, not any potential grandchildren.

He sounds awful but could be lovely , I have a small tattoo but would draw the line at neck , face or hand tattoos, maybe that’s why he can’t get a job . I’m afraid you’ll have to keep your concerns to yourself on this one .

The surgeon that put my leg back together after an accident had two full sleeves of tattoos. Thank god they didn’t hold him back in the workplace.

If she was going to go on to marry a reform candidate with a swatz sticker tattoo, I wouldn’t have required a relationship with any of them thank you very much

Sorry to derail OP but I do think you need to meet this person and then make your own mind up but don’t feel you need to facilitate or pander to it.

You know the numerous threads about adult children going no contact..?

Horrified? Over someone you’ve never met or know anything about, apart from having tattoos and living on a certain estate. Good God 😂

Does your daughter live with you?

Be open minded. Don’t judge someone before actually getting to know his character and personality.

My dad tried that with me. I kept the new boyfriend and didn't see my dad for two years.

He eventually begged for forgiveness, and later ended up being very close friends with the boyfriend. He treated me like a queen and I was blissfully happy the entire 15 years we were together.

Parents don't always know better.

Good lord

You said that your grandchildren would never be welcome if you didn't like their father?

No. Sorry, no.

This is a bullying tactic. Like if you do that there will be consequences. You are forcing your children to make the decisions you want or forever be damned. Threatening to exclude and deny your daughters children was disgraceful. Your decision here was the poor one.

Gosh, that's good! I'll definitely borrow your Gran's phrase.

Your standards are very low.

I love this, wise words indeed.

Be nice to him unless he gives a good reason for you not to

Wise lady 😀

Op what age is your Dd ? He might be alright you never know but it is best to be non committal and just hope it fizzles out.

As an aside 1 of my Dds was in a terrible relationship with a "nice lad" he was coercive and emotionally controlling ,

Have you met him? Do you have confidence in your daughter’s judgement or do you think she’s an idiot?
Invite him to dinner. He might be awful. He might not.
Husband and I both grew up on council estates. No tattoos because they weren’t a thing then unless you were a sailor or soldier. In our 50s now, educated, successful, dare I say fairly refined and enjoying our lovely, middle class children and fruits of our labours.

There weren’t any grandchildren
So we’re talking about fictional people that don’t exist it would’ve been 50% of a class a Cunt
Influenced for the rest of their lives by a class a Cunt.
If she had wanted to be a silly cow inflict that upon herself, there’s not much you can do but you don’t have to watch

Just make sure she goes on the pill.

On what basis does he “sound awful”?

Understandable OP. Let’s be honest, who would choose that for their daughter. Hope she sees sense.

You sound absolutely disgusting and I guarantee your children hate you.

Yes, that’s one bloke. That’s not the rule, that’s the exception.

My DH is covered in tattoos and was brought up on a council estate with no money at all. He's the loveliest, kindest and most hard-working man and best husband I could have ever wished for.

I agree with this. I work in a professional services firm and yes, things have changed and some people have tattoos! Nothing wrong with that, but they have tattoos that can be covered up. If you have tattoos on your hands, neck, etc you are automatically disqualifying yourself from many jobs. Fine if you are Elon Musk, but not a great idea otherwise…

Guarantee they don’t love 🤣

If he was abusive to your daughter then I understand why you stepped in, if he wasn’t and you just didn’t like him so whatever reason then you were unreasonable, you cannot dictate who any one can be with