Early 20s with walking stick

[emilyinlondonx]

I’m in my early 20s and have been diagnosed with degenerative disc disease. I do get PIP, and on my bad days the pain and fatigue can be really difficult to manage.
I’ve been thinking about getting a walking stick to help me on those tougher days, especially when standing or walking for long periods, but I feel quite anxious about it. I’ve seen some unkind posts online about young people using mobility aids, and I can’t help worrying that people might judge me or think I’m exaggerating.
My partner keeps reminding me that I should do whatever makes life easier and more manageable, and I know he’s right, I just wish I could switch off that little voice that worries about what others will think.
Has anyone else been in a similar situation- young and using a walking aid, or feeling self-conscious about it? How did you get past that worry? Any tips or experiences would really help me.
Thank you 💛

I would never judge anyone who needs any type of aid, please don’t be put off using whatever you need to help you day to day.

I also want to add that I wear my disability ID on a lanyard and I also wear an offer me a seat badge when using public transport but people still look at me funny and it is VERY rare I am offered a seat. Sometimes I end up sitting on the floor of the bus/ train. I believe this is because I look young and I don't 'look disabled' so that is increasing my anxiety.

You either need one or you don't.

Tell them you feel sick - seats will clear magically

Thanks I do understand that. I suppose I meant more that I do need one on bad days, but I’m just struggling a bit with the confidence side of things. Usually on my bad days I cannot leave the house so it would actually allow me to have a life. I'm not posting regarding whether I need it, but more about coming to terms with using one when I’m still quite young and worrying what people might think.

I think understanding is rapidly increasing and its great that more people are feeling able to use mobility aids rather than suffering in silence or not going out and about. Please do get a stick if you need it, may also help people to see that you need a seat as well.

Define need here ?

makes life easier and less painful as the OP has described ? That sounds like need to me

OP get advice on how to use the stick - and find out if two would be better than one to prevent damage caused by twisting

I think the trouble is really just that there are unkind posts on the internet about everything, but you just have to ignore all the opinions and the noise and do whatever you need to do to make your life easiest and the most fulfilling.

Thank you that’s a really good point. I’ll definitely speak to my doctor about it. It actually came to mind because my supervisor at work mentioned it- I’ve had to take quite a few days off because of the pain, so it might help me stay on my feet and manage work a bit better.

I voted YABU as couldn’t quite work out which way you were asking but your partner is dead right, you do whatever makes your life easier and if this means an aid, sod what other people think

My ds is 21.

He has hereditary spastic paraplegia and can walk, uses crutches or needs a wheelchair. Depends on how his muscles are (or rather aren’t 🤣) functioning any given day. He also can’t walk for more than 20 minutes without extreme fatigue.

No one ever judges him. I would hope they never do either.

You may find a rollator with built in seat useful for the days you need to stop and rest so I’d look into one of those too.

If you want something personal with good grip for wet days Cool crutches are a fab website.

One of the issues from a health point of view is whether having a stick is actually beneficial or makes you become more reliant on it - I'd suggest advice from a decent physiotherapist. Also needs to be the correct type and height (crutches can cause nerve damage under the armpit & hiking poles aren't designed for use on a pavement).

Sorry, I probably didn’t word it very clearly! I meant AIBU to worry about this!

Thank you so much! My partner suggested I use crutches as I'd probably get less 'stares' than a walking stick but I didn't want people to think I am faking an injury- my mind is just overthinking to be honest

This is so helpful thank you so much. I will speak to my physio about this

Yanbu to worry.

Iy took my ds a while for his head to catch his body up in terms of what he needs and the fact that he needs different things different days/ type of event etc.

He’s an athlete and is very fit and otherwise healthy.

It’s a big adjustment

@emilyinlondonx are you under a physio? speaking as a physio -please see a physio for advice! if you have a degenerative disease (what is it exactly?)so young you need the correct input to maximise your mobility and function.

Have you tried an elbow crutch. I found one very useful and was able to lean on it better. (Mine was only temporary need).

This. Speak with a physio or the Dr as I used an elbow crutch and it gave me hip pain. Maybe a rollator would work better and give you a seat when you need it. Also, people are more likely to make space for you.

Thank you yes, I’m seeing a physio through the NHS. I have spinal stenosis, an annular tear, bilateral facet hypertrophy, multiple herniated discs and sciatica. My mum has DDD, I have always had back pain since I was a child but it seemed to get worse after Covid. I’m trying to keep on top of it with the exercises and advice they’ve given me, I have also had to have 2 surgeries already and I am doing everything in my power to avoid having another, just still figuring out what helps day to day.

Thank you everyone, I will definitely speak to my GP and physio as I didn't know there were so many things to consider so I really appreciate everyone's advice

Honestly if I saw a person of any age using a walking aid of any kind I would think nothing other than 'that person must need it and at least they have found a way of getting around easier'. You do what you need to do!

Hi OP

I have a condition which flares up and impacts my mobility. A lot of the time it can be fine but other times I need an aid. Sometimes it’s so bad that I can’t leave the house and other times I can get about with a walking stick. I commute and I’m familiar with the side-eye from others because I don’t always ‘look’ disabled or at least how they imagine a person with disabilities should look.

I’ve had everything from people ignoring me if I ask to sit, bumping into me as I limp along through to verbal abuse because I was sitting in an accessible seat and they couldn’t see my aid. I’m over it and either ignore them or call out their ignorance. Soon shuts them up. On the flip side most people are absolutely lovely and I’ve had several kind offers of help and support from strangers.

I’m sorry you’re going through this. Do what you need to do to make your life easier and ignore people as best you can. My advice is to invest in a decent walking aid that actually fits your body, it makes SUCH a difference. If it accidentally taps the ankle of the person who pushes you out of the way in their hurry then so be it!

You do need advice from your physio or OT. Getting the right support and using it correctly will help with your confidence and mobility. As others have said you do whatever helps you, don't give a moment's thought to what others are thinking. TBH they are most likely not even noticing what you are up to. Hope it helps at any rate

My 21yo DD has hypermobile EDS and has good days and bad days. She also wears a lanyard and badge. Has never been offered a seat, always has to ask for one and is often sworn at in response, rarely achieves a seat.*
She does occasionally use a stick. Always has knee braces on when travelling - usually visible. Makes no difference.

If you feel a stick would make life easier for you, give it a go. There are loads of different styles and designs out there or use a standard NHS type and pimp it up to match your personality. Don't rely on it making life easier in terms of getting a seat, but if you need it and it means you can get around more easily, have less pain etc then ignore everyone else and go for it!

*this is in London. when travelling abroad she is made to feel like royalty!