Early 20s with walking stick

[emilyinlondonx]

I’m in my early 20s and have been diagnosed with degenerative disc disease. I do get PIP, and on my bad days the pain and fatigue can be really difficult to manage.
I’ve been thinking about getting a walking stick to help me on those tougher days, especially when standing or walking for long periods, but I feel quite anxious about it. I’ve seen some unkind posts online about young people using mobility aids, and I can’t help worrying that people might judge me or think I’m exaggerating.
My partner keeps reminding me that I should do whatever makes life easier and more manageable, and I know he’s right, I just wish I could switch off that little voice that worries about what others will think.
Has anyone else been in a similar situation- young and using a walking aid, or feeling self-conscious about it? How did you get past that worry? Any tips or experiences would really help me.
Thank you 💛

I’m so sorry you have to go through all of that. It must be incredibly frustrating and exhausting to deal with that all on top of everything else. Thank you for sharing your experience <3
I hope you get lots of moments where people are kind and helpful, and that your walking aid makes things a little easier day to day. You deserve to be able to get around without judgment or hassle.

I was going to suggest looking up on your council website how to self refer for a living aids/independent livjng etc assessment. If your physio is NHS, they should have referred you.

I’m so sorry your daughter has to deal with all of that it sounds absolutely exhausting. Thankfully I haven't been sworn at but I am also too shy to verbally ask for a seat unfortunately. It’s shocking that even with visible aids and badges she still faces abuse.
Hearing that she’s treated better abroad is telling, isn’t it? It must be nice to know there are places where people are more understanding.

They never even mentioned anything like that :(

I had a major flare of my hypermobility combined with burnout in my mid 20s. I had no choice but to use aids. Personally I used crutches as my wrists aren't stable enough to use sticks and I didn't find them at all supportive. I bought crutches with Fischer handles for added comfort and then I jazzed them up with printed gaffer tape. If I was going to use them I'd make them mine. No one thinking I'd hurt myself as they obviously weren't hospital issue ones. Thankfully it passed after 5-6 months and I don't need them at the moment. They are still in the back of my wardrobe for just in case though. Use what you need. Don't worry about anyone else.

Get 2 walking poles. Much more stable., and far less likely to cause any reaction, if that is bothering you.

If anything, I think it would be a visual signifier to people that you are disabled. I am going through cancer treatment at the moment, which has left me with some mobility issues, and I’ve been amazed how much people take for granted that you are perfectly fine just because you look young and otherwise healthy. I’ve also been surprised myself meeting others with similar issues how well we all look. To look at any of us - and probably you too - people don’t automatically clock on that you are disabled because of your appearance. I think a walking stick would help people understand a bit more what your needs might be. And if it helps you more comfortably get around and do things you need and want to do, that’s great.

I am much older than you now but had to start using walking aids in my twenties due to autoimmune arthritis.

It is hard at first to get your head around the fact you need them but it was honestly the best thing I did. It has kept me mobile and active. I use a pair of crutches from cool crutches (they are the best imo - not cheap but an excellent investment, I have had my current pair for 10 years and they are a life saver)

When I was younger I got the occasional funny look or question / comment (usually, you can’t possibly have arthritis you’re too young 🙄) but most people are kind and I found that having a visible aid made it more obvious I needed help / a seat / extra room etc

Jesus lovely. Get specialist advice on what you need & how to use it properly. (Can you afford a private consult? )

you're very young & need to do .everything you can to support your body now. For now & the future. Honestly, yes twats will judge, but so the fuck what? Who cares what they think? They won't be there now or in the future for you. Their opinion on it is meaningless.

msybe a rollstor you can keep at work might help. But is your job suitable for you? Or is it placing too much strain on your body?

Look after yourself (& future self), do what you need to do & don't worry about what twats think. I know it's HARD but find your voice, get a seat on the bus, don't sit on the floor.

xx

Definitely talk to your physio. But there are lots of different options for sticks out there and you shouldn't feel embarrassed. I use one when I need to.

I also use one if I am getting public transport, because my disability is "invisible" and it helps make the disability more visible so people don't get frustrated if I walk slowly or use a priority seat

I hobbled into the local doctors surgery with the aid of two sticks, clearly in a lot of pain, as a young woman. While waiting in line at the reception desk an elderly lady asked if I was going hiking. My response - if only I could!

People don't think before opening their mouths. Do what you've got to do.

Oh, this makes me genuinely upset. God what society do we live in now where are you having to being worried about being judged.

Fuck em, do whatever you need to make your life better.

Yes this, I had scowls from a bunch of people in the queue for flu jabs, because I asked to use a seat and they were ahead of the queue of standing people. I didn't jump the queue and made sure those in front of me went first. But it seemed to be beyond the comprehension of all the much older people in the queue that me being eligible for a flu jab and me not being able to stand and queue might be connected!

Follow some young disabled online and embrace..you do not need to hide . Do what you need. Ger a nice bright colored stick(s).

Bbc ouch archives

BBC - Ouch! (disability) - Podcast share.google/cheDA5647LuI7TVtN

Eg Source: Instagram share.google/CyHKKHcXPoV7Lvu5W

I will check these out thank you!

This website does a good range https://www.coolcrutches.com/?tw_source=google&tw_adid=625883781345&tw_campaign=18503156107&tw_kwdid=kwd-316872960944&gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=18503156107&gbraid=0AAAAAC-LWxEsa5zjO4c3J5dWEbqjsNqMF&gclid=CjwKCAjwu9fHBhAWEiwAzGRC_-JP6Z6Yej34kVi7Xf8GowSO1bEdo8FyY1yI01Qpekv5dLuApX-VgRoCIBEQAvD_BwE

How About some jazzy Nordic walking poles. They would help but you may feel more comfortable using them.

Either way you do what helps you my lovely, don’t worry about judgy strangers.

From my experience, if you need one then you use it and don't care what others think.

You should use them when you need them, there are unkind, hostile and ableist comments and glances even to disabled older people. So you should prioritise your health because the comments and reactions never stop. A lot of people are simply impatient and rude and you have to trust yourself and focus on your own health.

Lauren P - Access Your Life https://share.google/23gDj4mq4z9ksnQh3

https://www.instagram.com/the_chroniccampaigner?igsh=MWlqdm5saHIzdGZ6cA==

Check Discord communities too (my dd is mid 20s with chronic illness and has found community online)

I absolutely agree with your partner.

If you need sticks, crutches or whatever to help your mobility issues then of course you should use them.

And yes you need professional advice from the physio for the most suitable aid and how to use it.

Where I live I see people of all ages using sticks and crutches and walking frames.
There's never been any hint of them being judged. And people generally are very considerate of them e.g when getting on buses etc.

Any one who judges someone just because they need a walking aid is contemptible imo.

I’m working on that mindset. It is not that easy when you are a young person.

I had to use a stick in my mid-20s. For me it made my (mostly) invisible struggle more visible so I found it made things easier in that respect, as well as making my life easier. I bought one which was brightly coloured and patterned.