Time off work when your dog passes

[Arabiannights01]

I just think that I love my dog more than most humans and when it is her time to leave, I will be a distraught- mess for a while, I don’t think work will want a sobbing mess in front of customers. There should be a system where you get some kind of compassionate leave imo.

People will come up with any excuse not to work, maybe they can have a set amount of unpaid leave people can use

I took 2 days off when I lost my gorgeous lab in February. I just couldn't stop crying. When I went back to work I was still a wreck but I don't get sick pay so had no choice. I still get upset now.

The only time I’ve taken any form of time off work due to a bereavement was when my DD died. Contractually I’m entitled to lots of bereavement and compassion leave for a variety of people and reasons but most people don’t take the piss and take what they can get out of an employer, instead they just take what they need. It’s sad the number of people who clearly judge others without even knowing them.

If you can't say a loved one's name for a year - parent, sibling, horse or otherwise - then you really need to get some help. I hope you did.

My aunt and uncle were killed in a fatal car crash - I said their names at the funeral and after. It's a mental block not to be able to do that. And unhealthy.

I’d give one of my team a day off if they were genuinely that upset that they obviously needed it. Why wouldn’t I? In doing so, I’m not just being nice, it’s probably going to increase their loyalty and the likelihood they’ll work hard and flexibly in the future.

Having said that, I wouldn’t write it in to a policy. Precisely because these things affect different people differently, so I’m not writing in to policy the exact circumstances needed. I’d be giving you a day off because you needed it, not because of the pet.

I’m glad I do t work for people on this thread!

in my company we show flexibility, empathy, loyalty and compassion

my team work bloody hard, and a few days here and there breeds productivity, loyalty and hard work.

i can’t believe people are so cold.

I don't actually like the majority of work compassionate leave policies... everywhere I have worked has graded the relationship so for example 3 days for a parent, one for a sibling or in law and nothing for a different relative such as aunty. Some people may be closer to an aunt than a parent, but not be entitled to compassionate leave for their death.

I'd rather people be able to have so many compassionate leave days and use them ar their own discretion as to if and when they need the time off for a particular loss, and then anything over that allowance be used as sick or annual leave

If you read the post to which I replied you will see exactly the point I was making.

That said, both my parents were very old and had suffered terribly with long illnesses when they died. Of course I was heartbroken but there was also a strong sense of relief, that they were at peace and the knowledge that they'd had good, long lives.

The death of a beloved dog, one that has been with you day and night and for whom you were solely responsible can be just, if not more devastating.

Not everyone has the same relationship with their parents or their dog. Bereavement isn't universally uniform. It's not a competition. It isn't logical or equal or linear. It's not hard to imagine that each situation is different.

Grieve isn’t a competition or something to compare and feel others don’t come up to a made up standard you’ve set.

We've lost 2 ddogs in 18 days... Can't describe the loss. Am self employed and have to go to work. One customer gave me the afternoon off paid the day before latest ddog was pts as she said I should be spending time with ddog not working. Very kind. Actually had a week away (booked ages ago) which has given me time to get my head around losing them. Most people just don't grasp the loss. Have no dps /siblings and I won't recover from this any time soon.
Sincere condolences to those who have been in my shoes...

Christ this is Mumsnet at its best isn’t it 🙄 grief-stoicism Olympics.

I didn't, I said use your annual or sick leave? Are you quoting the right post?

That is not statutory. That is, as you say, a compassion employer. Not a legal entitlement.

I'm not - but do you think someone who can't say the name of their horse in a year is completely fine? I think that person needs help and that was the only point I was making.

For some people, a dog or other pet is their only companion and only 'family'. When the pet dies, their world falls apart. Our dog is part of the family too. When I read some of the responses to this thread and the lack of compassion, it really makes me feel sad for the world. Compassionate leave in many workplaces is on a case-by-case basis and I see no reason why it shouldn't be granted for pets as for many people, not just me, they are part of the family too.

I am a teacher.

Yes that's definitely what I was doing.

If you think someone who can't say their horses name for a year is completely mentally sound then I wonder where your own benchmark is.

And grief counselling will tell you that you need to talk about the person (or not) that you have lost. Because it's really not a sign of wellness not to be able to say their name.

Well, you made your point horribly. You didn’t just say horse, did you. You said ‘parent, sibling, horse or otherwise’. Don’t try and gaslight simply because you are devoid of empathy and compassion.

When my colleague's dog died he took a week off as compassionate leave and our manager was completely supportive of that. He was single and childless and the dog meant a lot to him.

A good employer would understand that and want their employee to take the time needed to feel better. They will also be able to tell the difference between someone using dead pets to get time off and someone who is devastated by the loss of a pet. There doesn't need to be a formal right to leave for pets imo.

Some of these comments are wild. If I died and it took my husband the half term holiday and 2 days to "recover", I'd be furious and haunting him to insanity.

Where I work we have personal days. You get one every quarter, and you can take them for whatever you want or cash them in at the end of the year. I took one when my best friend's mother died, to attend her funeral. I would use that if I needed it, but I don't think pet bereavement leave should be a thing.

no. If you think your dog is going to die, you need to keep days in reserve

For my grandparent, they gave me one day for the funeral, and almost just a half day. You're unreasonable op, take annual leave. You don't get much for people, let alone pets.

I'm not gaslighting and I know what I said. I made the point that grief comes in all manners because that is the point of this whole thread. Thanks for your nonsense judgement though. Enjoy your hyperbole.

I can’t believe 30% of voters think YANBU 😁

Designated pet-bereavement leave is obviously open to abuse.

My solution would be the right to take unpaid leave, for those who hadn’t kept aside any annual leave days. The cost could be factored in to the general cost of owning a pet.

Can you imagine the piss-takers?! I'm sorry if losing a pet is devastating, but it's open to abuse.

I have no doubt that I will need time off when my beloved godmother dies. I could have done with a week off when my best friend died suddenly, but neither of these situations merit compassionate leave in any Employee Handbook I've ever seen, except to say that compassionate leave for bereavement of friends or other relatives is at the discretion of your manager.