Time off work when your dog passes

[Arabiannights01]

I just think that I love my dog more than most humans and when it is her time to leave, I will be a distraught- mess for a while, I don’t think work will want a sobbing mess in front of customers. There should be a system where you get some kind of compassionate leave imo.

A new type of leave? How much leave do you think employers should grant?! We already have amazing leave compared to much of the world.

It’s going to be horrendous when a loved pet dies, but why can’t you work? My family have lost 3 dogs over the years, everyone very sad but also able to work.

Most people work through grandparent bereavement. I worked through a miscarriage. People work through good times and bad. YABU to think you should have a week off when your pet dies. Work in the day, grieve in the evening.

I have a habit of adopting old and sick dogs from the shelter and want two days off each time one dies. So far this year, I have had 20 days AL and 20 days dog grief.

Nope, not workable.

I mean some companies in general have plenty of scope for piss take with extended time off. (NHS) that’s not new. But I don’t think it’s right for anybody to say ‘get over it and get on with it’ in regards to a pet dying- that’s why I think there should be a (2-3 day max) provision for it. Like it or not, the death of a pet is awful and traumatic for many people and it’s not ok to dismiss that.

Speak for yourself. My employer is very generous with bereavement leave and I get a week for every spouse, parent, sibling or child that dies. Nothing for best friend although I have a compassionate employer who would still give me the time off.

Not all employers think there is something wrong with people needing to grieve.

When one of my childhood hamsters died I was so distraught I had to take the next day off school 🤣 and my aunty and granny took me out for a baked potato to cheer me up hahaha

In all seriousness, whilst it is very upsetting to lose an animal, many employers only give a few days for the death of a close family member, so I don’t see them giving anything for pets. It’s best just to keep a few days of annual leave for emergencies.

Work were really understanding to be fair, they offered me more time off than I ended up taking but I’d just started at a new school as an ECT1 and needed the distraction more than anything. It’s funny how you deal with things- I was climbing the walls at home- whereas DPs other relatives took way longer off. MIL didn’t go back to work for about 3 weeks, bless her

Three people in my office has been through traumatic dog bereavements ( all sudden deaths ) in the past couple of years. My manager would have no problem with us taking a couple of days off for this. I just took one and then it was the weekend. It gave me time to sort the cremation etc and compose myself.

"You know when you choose to get a pet that you are likely to outlive them."

You know when you're born that you'll most likely outlive your parents, but it doesn't stop you loving them or being bereft when they die.

I couldn't even mention my dogs name for 6 months after he died without bawling let alone talk about him but I wasn't able to take time off so had to somehow shelf it and have a little secret weep whenever I could.

You are not seriously equating the loss of a pet with the loss of a parent?

I said statutory.

I get compassionate leave through work.

Compassionate leave or sick leave - if you're unable to do your job, because of the state you're in, I don't see if it matters thats due to grief at the loss of a friend, family member or pet or being unwell for some reason.

AL isn't practical - who can take AL for a couple of days with no notice.

I don't think it needs something special though - I think it just needs employers to recognise that sometimes people won't be up to doing their job, through circumstances outside their control, for short periods.

I've had dogs die where I was in BITS, absolutely broken, not able to do anything much at all... and dogs pass that were totally expected, very sad but I could and did get on.

I don't think it should be a statutory entitlement because it would be completely impossible to manage and police.

But I think on the whole compassionate leave needs to be an entitlement in the same way parental leave is.

I'd take time off unpaid for my dogs dying. I love them with every fibre of my being and more than anyone in this world except my husband. But my employers are fantastic and I know my boss would tell me to just take a couple of days off.

@Arabiannights01 so what kind of compassionate leave do you have in your workplace? I've worked in places where there's two or three days, including the funeral, for immediate relatives. I can't really imagine anyone's going to add pets to that.

I have known people take discretionary days when a pet has passed on. But in reality, with immediate relatives, it's usually a case of getting signed off sick if you need more time.

I had to put my cat down in March- we had her for 18 years. I took no time off. I was terribly upset but soldiered on.

Thanks lovely. In the care of the heart failure clinic at the local hospital, but so much better than he was - really sweet of you to say that, it was so horrifically scary at the time. Remember holding his hand and saying: "Come on you silly old boot!" and him laughing and coughing. Horrible thought, keeping spirits up when you don't know how it will end. Thanks again, I really do appreciate it.

I'll fairly relaxed on time off but no specialised aminal bereavement is a step too far.

I've no problem with taking emergency annual leave but where is the line, what about a goldfish or a turtle?

Exactly. Really clear why we’re not a productive economy - no work ethic

Losing a parent is not remotely like losing a pet but, actually, many people don't actually grieve that much when their parent dies, particularly if they are very elderly and in poor health.

I have no relationship with either of my parents and haven't done for well over 20 years. I'll not be taking time off when they die (if anyone even tells me)

A friend lost his father a few years ago. that he DID have a relationship with. Definitely didn't take much time off work

I've had numerous pets, cats and dogs, over the years and they were my family. However, I never had any time off work when they died and I think it was better being at work rather than sitting at home grieving. I also returned to work two days after my much loved DF died.

If you really must have time off then take annual leave.

Just to lighten the mood - we used to have to sign a late book when we were late into secondary school. I will always remember someone signing: "I was 30 minutes late because my guinea pig had labour pains..."

How would you know?

Grief is a form of sickness

Are you joking?
I had my horse for 10 years. If I was having a bad day or upset I would go and ride or see her, she was my hobby, my friendship group, my exercise, my life. Then she died and all I wanted to do was go to her, like I did on every bad day and she was there. She was there through relationship breakups, work issues, health issues

it was like being homesick for a home that wasn’t there any more and I had no idea what to do. I couldn’t say her name for a year

What do you mean 'many people don't actually grieve when their parent dies'? That's unquantifiable. Some maybe, but 'many'?

And those who had a poor relationship with their parents in life might need a similar amount of time away from work as those who had a great relationship, because of the need to come to terms... and we all do that differently. Like grief.

That’s great, all credit to you. But would you have, if there was a day you could have used just for that specific purpose, to grieve the loss of a long-standing family pet?

Also let’s please remember that all jobs are not the same- it’s far harder to ‘soldier on’ sat in front of a computer being quiet say to being in front of a group of children being the all singing all dancing presence you are normally.