Time off work when your dog passes

[Arabiannights01]

I just think that I love my dog more than most humans and when it is her time to leave, I will be a distraught- mess for a while, I don’t think work will want a sobbing mess in front of customers. There should be a system where you get some kind of compassionate leave imo.

Cool. I’m sure people would most appreciate their dentist/doctor/hairdresser/teacher taking a duvet day last minute. Especially if they themselves have taken a days annual leave for the appointment. Only to arrive to be told the doctor is having a duvet day so it needs to be rescheduled.

It's always the same on here. It's a race to the bottom, who can be the best martyr. Now we have someone whose husband only took half a day when his mother died. Well done him! Have a medal. 🙄

My Dad had a month off when his mother died, it hit him really hard and they had loads to do not just sorting out the funeral, but her house, belongings, estate etc. he is an ex army officer used to leading hundreds of men so not some wet lettuce who can't handle grief.

I'm so glad half of you aren't my boss. A good boss has compassion, empathy and knows his staff well enough to know they won't take the piss.

@xSideshowAuntSallyXx
Not every employer can - or will - facilitate this kind of leave. Noting personal experiences isn't a "race to the bottom".

In which case a good boss can use discretion as has been suggested by most people on here. Most people are just saying it shouldn’t be dedicated paid time off purely for the death of a pet. So for those in jobs with flexibility and good bosses they will hopefully be allowed the time off as compassionate leave or whatever. Those without can just use sick leave or annual leave. Basically how it is now.

I agree, @Yetegs , that's really the upshot.

This thread gives me an insight into peoples attitude to work. When my DM passed i was at work and got the call to let me know (It was sudden and unexpected). I was knocked for 6. I called my boss and he told me to do what i had to do. No discussion about time off, nothing. I went home, gathered my things and picked my DB up to drive to be with my father. It was 250mls away.

It was a friday so i spent the weekend with my father and DB's and we did what we could and came home late Sunday night.

All 3 siblings returned to work on the Monday. We were still in pieces but we were brought up to turn up for work and not let our colleagues or our employer down. As it happens my boss found out i had turned in and called me to tell me to go home for the week which i appreciated. If he hadnt, i would have done my work to the best of my ability.

I love my dogs almost as much as my own children but there is zero chance i would take any time off unless i really couldnt avoid it (Appt to PTS etc). If i had to take any time off it would be coming out of my annual leave without a doubt.

This would be another burden on employers that would be abused in the extreme

I think this post is exactly what OP meant when she said people are institutionalised by work.
It is seen as something that has the priority above all else, and anyone not putting work first, even when something tragic in their personal life happens, is seen as work shy or having a poor work ethic.
We do not live to work.
If you die, your boss will replace you straight away.

I was distraught when my cat died many years ago, she was 18, but I had the day to take her to the vets then bury her, and went back to work the next day. As much as I like animals I don't think I can compare it to the grief for humans. I thought it was excessive when a colleague asked for cover the day after her cat died. Besides, work is probably the best distraction. Alternatively, use annual leave and they won't have a problem as long as it's not last minute (as I'm guessing in a customer-facing job it's one that might find it difficult to cover, always been my experience)

How would you know the reason that your doctor/hairdresser/teacher is not there?

Reading comprehension, please. I specifically said household OR immediate family.

That isn’t the point as you know.

No, how would you know someone you had an appointment with was having a "duvet day"?
My therapist cancelled my appointment when I was on the way to see her. Very last minute. I didn't find out the reason why for a few weeks, and I was not entitled to that information anyway because confidentiality is a thing.
Why is time off for losing a beloved pet seen as a sign of being work shy?

I work to live, I don't live to work. I've worked since I was 16 with only a 9 month break in my first year of university(never been unemployed in 32 years) but even I know if I died tomorrow, they'd have the job advert up by the end of November without a second thought.

Do you go to work when you're ill as well? Are you one of those people who refuse to take time off?

I knew as soon as I read this that you would answer that particular part of @FleurDeFleur ‘s post and ignore the other criticisms from a number of posters.

Any chance of any more replies? I’ll repeat the gist of mine to save you going back. Bereavement leave for hamster but not nephew? Are you gonna dig in or reconsider?

Sensible, sensitive, compassionate care given there ... and probably testament to your usual work ethic. It's what I have done as a manager; I could see a mile off that my coworker was struggling. IMO, it pays dividends as likely get a more 'whole' person back, when they return to work.

An email has literally just popped into my inbox from the Miscarriage Association about the government’s public consultation about the extension of bereavement leave to pre-24 week pregnancy loss. It’s still expected to be 2 years before the new law comes into effect. An interesting bit of context.

If you are that upset (and I would be a gibbering wreck) you can go off sick with stress. You don't have to explain what's caused the stress

Much as I've been distraught about the loss of some of my pets, I can't see how this would work.
Too open to abuse as others have said, I know some prople who would be having a death every week!

And @Arabiannights01 , pets don't "pass", they die. As do cut flowers and insects that splat on your windscreen.

I don't think policing the language someone uses when they are experiencing grief is appropriate or helpful.

I wouldn't say it to anyone who was telling me about their loss (although I'd definitely think it)..... But this thread is detached from such an event and to use such a twee euphemism for an animal dying is ridiculous IMHO. But of course the purpose of such a thread is debate.

You are equating the death of someone's beloved pet and family member with insects being splatted on a windscreen and cut flowers going over.

Many people on this thread have shared their experiences about losing pets.

I took two days with my dog. I didn't ask I just told them truth and gave no shits what they would think. I took it unpaid as all annual leave was taken. I personally think a couple days compassionate leave should be given but understand its not yet a thing and the politics behind it, as in it can be abused as alot of people like to do this.

But in my personal case I couldn't work I was a mess he was My baby so being out of pocket was not a worry at that time and i more than survived financially. If I went in I probably would have had a breakdown and risked behaving in a way that would have had worse consequences.