Time off work when your dog passes

[Arabiannights01]

I just think that I love my dog more than most humans and when it is her time to leave, I will be a distraught- mess for a while, I don’t think work will want a sobbing mess in front of customers. There should be a system where you get some kind of compassionate leave imo.

*commented

I don't know what you mean by "institutionalised" in people's jobs?
Everyone is replaceable, that's why people don't want to push it with absence and risk a disciplinary or steps to dismissal!

Death is a part of life, it happens every day all around us. Obviously grief can be hard going for a number of reasons but I dont agree with this idea that you have to stop everything when someone or something dies in order to "grieve properly". We still have to get up in the morning, get on with things, the world keeps turning. Death is what makes us alive.
Dropping everything to focus on grief is not always a helpful way of dealing with it.

This. Annual leave, time off sick or an understanding workplace. But that’s it.

the sheer amount of organisation required when a spouse (or other member of the immediate family) dies… that’s quite different with a pet.

and a pet - obviously- isn’t the same as a child or spouse.

The dog - human relationship has been built on the premise of the human outliving her dog or potentially quite a few dogs. That’s not the same with children, a spouse or parents. (Obviously. Does that even need to be said?)

There is a difference between dropping everything to allow grieving, and not being able to go to work because you are too distraught and would end up being sent home anyway.
Suppressing the grief process is not healthy.

I have gone sick for a couple of days previously when my dog died. Sickness is physically unwell to do job or mentally unwell. Shouldn't just be physically.

I'm saying this kindly and as a dog lover. You're being ridiculous

You do realise that there is a cost to employers of providing time off? Either in the form of work/output lost or cost of staff cover. to keep things going in your absence.

Quite apart from the potential for abuse and the griping that would come from people who don't have pets, who do you think should cover these costs? I'm an animal lover and know how hard it is to lose a pet but, honestly, if you want time off, use your annual leave or take unpaid leave. No one will frown at you taking time off, but please don't expect your employer to pay for it.

It does seem a bit excessive imo.

A few years back when DH's mum was terminally ill with cancer, he took half a day off work to say goodbye to her in the hospice and no time off at all when she died. Except for her funeral, obviously. At around the same time one of his colleagues had a dog that died and she took several days off to grieve.

In 2023 one of our DDogs had to be PTS as he was very ill. DH was working (different company than before), I was WFH and as I don't drive, he came home for a late lunch during which we took DDog to the vet, then afterwards DH returned to work for two hours. DH was in a terrible state - worse than I was, as DDog was his 'baby' - but wouldn't have dreamed of not going back into the office that day.

If some people can be given a year off to support their lifestyle choices, I'd best not be hearing any complaints if I take a couple of days off to grieve the death of a pet.

If you can draw that comparison, I can draw this one. I would complain (to the employer, not you) if you got 2 days of legal entitlement to leave for your pet, and I didn’t get it for the death of my best friend/auntie/cousin who, under the OP’s bright idea, wouldn’t qualify through not being animals.

Me neither. Different for guide and other assistance dogs - that's obviously a very different issue and it will take time to get another assistance dog to meet your needs.

OP didn't say anything about leave being denied for people who had lost human friends or relatives.
She said she thinks there should be a separate kind of leave for people who have lost pets.

There is no entitlement to leave for people who have lost friends etc, so enforcing it for pets would not be possible. But wishing that managers were more understanding and compassionate is certainly not a daft idea.

I think it should be policy for people to be able to have a day or so off for a bereavement of a pet.

The sensible distinction is whether or not a being in one's household or immediate family (parent, grandparent, sibling, child) died.

Friends, aunties, cousins, etc., are not part of one's household. Pets are. You can take annual leave or unpaid leave for friends, aunts, cousins. Like people already do.

Losing someone or something that was a living heartbeat in one's own home and daily life IS different.

Wow. So you are saying that pets should attract a separate, special type of leave which best friend/auntie wouldn’t? Bereavement leave for hamster but not nephew?

Er, I don’t agree.

That's not a "sensible" distinction. I wasn't living with my Mum when she died. I was still devastated.
I was living with a housemate I wasn't too bothered about.
So- not sensible or logical, really.

What about someone who was raised by their aunt? But obviously now being an adult doesn’t live with them anymore? Or a best friend they’ve known for 50 years and lived with for many years when younger. Maybe they grew up living with a cousin who their parents took in so was like having a sibling but isn’t one biologically. These cases you’d need to use annual leave or unpaid leave yes? But for ANY pet regardless of how old it was or what type it is or how many you have you get a few paid days off each time? Let’s face it employers will know if someone keeps asking for time off for different siblings or parents. It would be noticed if someone said their mum died 4 times in 2 years. But how could you challenge it if someone has 4 pets die? How can you prove it didn’t happen?

Maybe we should all be allocated a couple of days a year that are separate from AL that we can use any way we want - they could call them duvet days.

Would that be ok even in the public sector?
I'm just trying to imagine the impact on the education budget, for starters!

Our work allows a day. But honestly? Much as I adore my dog and will be incredibly upset when she passes, I’m an adult and will get on with my life.

Yeah, it’s not affordable. I like the idea, though.

Yes, I can't see it being workable really. I suspect most people soldier on, or if they can't, then call in sick.

Compassionate leave following a death is usually reserved for the next of kin. And this is because, aside from being grief stricken, they will have so much to do – possibly dealing with hospital, getting paperwork ready to register the death and visit the council, arranging the funeral, dealing with loved one's personal effects. It goes on and on and it all takes time. It's not the same with a pet.

This thread is bonkers.