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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Time off work when your dog passes

473 replies

Arabiannights01 · 19/10/2025 20:49

I just think that I love my dog more than most humans and when it is her time to leave, I will be a distraught- mess for a while, I don’t think work will want a sobbing mess in front of customers. There should be a system where you get some kind of compassionate leave imo.

OP posts:
Pessismistic · 20/10/2025 19:42

Arabiannights01 · 19/10/2025 20:56

I just think that it should be an entirely separate - new, type of leave. Most people have pets that they love and I don’t think it should be frowned upon if you take time off because your pet has passed away. For some people, their pets are all they have so it would be a stressful time. I might be living in la la land by thinking this but in my world, it would a new policy they every employer would have to adopt.

Yes it’s upsetting but some employers only give the bare minimum for a death of a loved one very close relative you have no chance with pets.

maggimae68 · 20/10/2025 19:47

There are quite a few companies now that have adopted 'pawternity' leave or pet bereavement as a policy.
Pawternity is for settling in new pets, but bereavement leave is offered by the likes of Google, Amazon, Co-op, Timpson. Lots of newer tech companies offer it too.
In our workplace it's at the managers discretion but we can offer up to a week of paid leave if needed.

SeaAndStars · 20/10/2025 19:48

Stolengoat · 20/10/2025 19:38

Why do people insist on comparing kids and pets, there is no comparison.

You're not wrong there. But not in the way you think you are.

SeaAndStars · 20/10/2025 19:49

Stolengoat · 20/10/2025 19:33

That's a ridiculous comparison.

Thanks for your learned evaluation.

Yetegs · 20/10/2025 19:50

maggimae68 · 20/10/2025 19:47

There are quite a few companies now that have adopted 'pawternity' leave or pet bereavement as a policy.
Pawternity is for settling in new pets, but bereavement leave is offered by the likes of Google, Amazon, Co-op, Timpson. Lots of newer tech companies offer it too.
In our workplace it's at the managers discretion but we can offer up to a week of paid leave if needed.

I think if a company wants to offer it then it’s absolutely fine. Companies can make whatever policies they like. But. It shouldn’t be a legal right as lots of companies would very much struggle with people taking endless time off. That’s what most are disagreeing with. Making it a legal right wouldn’t work.

Stolengoat · 20/10/2025 19:53

SeaAndStars · 20/10/2025 19:48

You're not wrong there. But not in the way you think you are.

Enlighten me then.

Grammarninja · 20/10/2025 20:00

There's no such thing as 'I've just broken up with my boyfriend of 10 years" leave which would be somewhat similar. Compassionate leave for the death of a close family member is because there are usually a lot of things to be done and require your attendance/attention.
I find work is the best place to be when terrible things happen. Such a great distraction.

Skates · 20/10/2025 20:02

I talk about my dog a lot at work. My colleagues know how much I love him. My boss already knows he won’t see me for a few days after I lose him. He said he would rather lose me for a few days to lose me forever as he knows I will tell him to shove his job up his arse if he demanded that I came into work.

YeOldeGreyhound · 20/10/2025 20:02

Lots of horrible comments in this thread.

The loss of a pet can feel worse than the loss of a human relative. This is something that is known, and can take some people by surprise.

www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/article/2024/aug/15/the-surprising-shame-of-pet-loss-you-are-supposed-to-think-humans-are-more-important-than-animals

I am sorry to read the stories of people losing their beloved pets on this thread. Even more sad to see people saying "it is just a dog" and saying people lack resilience, or are "workshy".

Grief affects everyone differently, and it is not a competition.

I thought I would post this here too, if anyone is going through it, or about to.

www.bluecross.org.uk/pet-loss-support

MoominMai · 20/10/2025 20:03

PerkyCyanPoet · 19/10/2025 21:09

When one of my childhood hamsters died I was so distraught I had to take the next day off school 🤣 and my aunty and granny took me out for a baked potato to cheer me up hahaha

In all seriousness, whilst it is very upsetting to lose an animal, many employers only give a few days for the death of a close family member, so I don’t see them giving anything for pets. It’s best just to keep a few days of annual leave for emergencies.

Unfortunately for some people who live alone and have no human family, a long time cat or dog is usually their family which unfortunately isn’t formally recognised as yes it could be very complicated to administer. I agree with you, it’s best just to keep a few days AL or flex if you have it, to the side. I mean it’s best practice anyway to do it for yourself or if your pet is poorly and you have the same issue.

SeaAndStars · 20/10/2025 20:07

Stolengoat · 20/10/2025 19:53

Enlighten me then.

@Stolengoat I don't need to really, the answers are here in this thread.

Stolengoat · 20/10/2025 20:12

SeaAndStars · 20/10/2025 20:07

@Stolengoat I don't need to really, the answers are here in this thread.

I didn't think you would have an answer.

SeaAndStars · 20/10/2025 20:22

@Stolengoat I do have an answer but thought it was entirely apparent in the thread.

Obviously you think there is no comparison between kids and pets because kids are more important to you. Other people think there is no comparison between kids and pets because their pets are more important to them. People without children for whatever reason, the elderly/lonely and just those that don't want children but do have pets.

narcASD · 20/10/2025 20:25

@YeOldeGreyhound that’s a lovely response and very true, some comments on here are just nasty.

my dog is almost 16, I’ve had home from 7 weeks old, he is part of our family, was my comfort when I lost my baby, I’ll be devastated when he dies.

To those who replied with “it’s just a dog, well , they are just ignorant”

Partickthistle · 20/10/2025 20:25

Pythag · 19/10/2025 20:55

Absolutely not ! Can’t believe how work shy some people are !

This!

AppleDumplingWithCustard · 20/10/2025 20:26

I make no apology for having the day off work after taking my beloved 17 year old cat to be euthanised. I didn’t stop crying all day. I had a very supportive workplace and my colleagues were lovely.

Wimin123 · 20/10/2025 20:26

LoveSandbanks · 19/10/2025 20:58

Even my children didn't take time off from school when the dog died!

Quite right too - distraction much better - healthier for their future resilience as well.

Wimin123 · 20/10/2025 20:30

millymollymoomoo · 19/10/2025 20:56

I’m not wok shy. I’ve worked 80 hours a week for companies ( paid for 38). A few days off for compassionate leave is the least they could do !

Well as you never see your pet it won’t really affect you as you are always at work it seems. Or is that the old wfh where you can walk the dog whilst at work 😉

NewHome2026 · 20/10/2025 20:34

Compassionate leave would be a nonsense - where do you draw the line? Can I have time off for my cat? My hamster? My goldfish.

My dad was asked for compassionate leave as a manager about 15 years ago before people got really crazy about dogs and I think is response was fair. She was allowed to take short notice annual leave, or have it off sick and therefore count towards her sickness absence.

Wimin123 · 20/10/2025 20:35

FleurDeFleur · 20/10/2025 18:49

What line of work are you in? You're very generous, but I am wondering how you can afford this, and the overall impact?

Public sector I suspect 😂 our money

Stolengoat · 20/10/2025 20:38

SeaAndStars · 20/10/2025 20:22

@Stolengoat I do have an answer but thought it was entirely apparent in the thread.

Obviously you think there is no comparison between kids and pets because kids are more important to you. Other people think there is no comparison between kids and pets because their pets are more important to them. People without children for whatever reason, the elderly/lonely and just those that don't want children but do have pets.

I have no doubt that to some people their pets are the most important things in their lives and I have no issue with that. I've had pets that I have deeply cared about , however, in the grand scheme of things kids and humans in general are more important.

SeaAndStars · 20/10/2025 20:43

@Stolengoat Not to everybody.

FleurDeFleur · 20/10/2025 20:48

Wimin123 · 20/10/2025 20:35

Public sector I suspect 😂 our money

Certainly doesn't happen in schools!

Stolengoat · 20/10/2025 20:51

SeaAndStars · 20/10/2025 20:43

@Stolengoat Not to everybody.

Yes, to everyone, to society. We need kids, they are the future of society! My pet dog is not going to work in the nursing home when you get old or drive the bin wagon is it?

UsernameMcUsername · 20/10/2025 20:54

VioletBramble · 20/10/2025 08:53

Whilst I can in theory see your point, I think the competitive/comparative grief on this thread has little relevance to reality for a lot of us. I grieved far more for my cat then I did for my mother. She had dementia, I had already lost the person that she was years before she actually died and her death was not unexpected. I was sad, but not traumatised. My cat was my soulmate and my emotional support but he had an aggressive cancer and was gone within two months of diagnosis. I cried for weeks. Same when we lost a young dog. That was devastating.

Nobody has the right to dictate which should be the harder loss between a pet and a parent. Grief for a human is always seen as more "normal" and socially acceptable than grief for an animal, but it's also a very primitive emotion and we cannot predetermine the effect that it will have on us.

But people absolutely do have the right when you're asking them for something on the basis of your grief, in this case paid time off (which usually entails other people picking up the slack). Wider society isn't under any obligation to value cats equally with mothers.