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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask if I look frumpy

237 replies

keepcalmanddance · 19/10/2025 12:00

Do I look frumpy in this outfit? I’m early 40s. Also do I look like I’m slightly pregnant?

To ask if I look frumpy
OP posts:
Thread gallery
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PadamPadamPDoom · 20/10/2025 16:17

@keepcalmanddance - this is the kind of outfit you should be looking for:

Lounge trouser suit

Once again - it doesn’t matter that you like your legs. Showing them off to the detriment of your whole appearance isn’t how one gets to look stylish. You need a balance between top and lower halves, which this outfit provides with shoulders, hips, and wide trouser hems creating an hourglass. (And with any top or jacket you may want to size up to accommodate your largest measurement and then have the rest of the garment tailored to fit you.)

Tryingatleast · 20/10/2025 20:39

Op your bra is what jumped out at me- I went and got a push up bra and it’s definitely changed my outline. Also I always think baggy means loose and flattering but tighter clothes can also be more flattering whatever your size, it’s all about fit

keepcalmanddance · 23/10/2025 08:16

peoples thoughts on this red dress photo

To ask if I look frumpy
OP posts:
PadamPadamPDoom · 23/10/2025 08:24

Much better than the knitwear ensemble in your OP.

Again, it needs more supportive underwear. A well fitting bra would give you a visible waist.

The same dress with long, narrow sleeves to the wrist, and no puff at the shoulders, would be a hundred times better. As would an increase in length to just below your knees. The skirt part is sadly indeterminate. Ideally it should either form a tulip shape - tiny waist, rounded hip shape and narrowing in at the hem; or it could swing out widely, with lots of fabric, to an exaggerated A line.

Essentially the dress needs to be much bolder and more ‘intentional’ in its structure.

WLnamechange · 23/10/2025 08:41

Honestly get measured for a new bra, it will change your life. Don't go to marks and spencers have a look at boob or bust.

GenerateNewUsername · 23/10/2025 09:12

keepcalmanddance · 23/10/2025 08:16

peoples thoughts on this red dress photo

You look lovely OP. So much better than the first photo. A flattering wrap style dress that hugs nicely under your boobs 👌🏻

Thunderytoday · 23/10/2025 09:19

You look nice but I think the dress could be a bit longer and it doesn’t fit you that well. Agree with pp that it needs to be more structured to flatter you. What about spending a bit more on a similar style dress but better quality? It would be worth it as it’s the kind of thing you would wear a lot.

keepcalmanddance · 23/10/2025 09:47

Where is the best high street shop to get measured for a bra? I live in south London so looking at shops in croydon Sutton Kingston etc to get measured if anyone has any recommendations pls

OP posts:
PadamPadamPDoom · 23/10/2025 10:07

Can’t help with bra shop locating but, just for reference perhaps, with regard to dresses you could purposefully browse these by:

Cos

Not saying you have to like them all, but as you’ll observe - they each have a definite, determined shape which is intended to flatter the wearer as a whole person, not just one part of her body.

GenerateNewUsername · 23/10/2025 10:21

I live in a similar area OP and I went to the John Lewis in Kingston and got professionally measured there. They were good but it’s hit and miss depending on who you get!

Merryoldgoat · 23/10/2025 11:18

@keepcalmanddance Bentalls used to be very good but not been there in years. I would try John Lewis too.

The key with a good bra is the support should be from the band not straps do measure tight around your underbust and start with band size that matches that.

PumpkinsAndCoconuts · 23/10/2025 14:28

keepcalmanddance · 23/10/2025 08:16

peoples thoughts on this red dress photo

This is much better. Very relaxed, comfortable. The underwear looks adequately supportive for what looks like some relaxed / leisurely time outdoors (if it feels comfortable/good to you).

BebbanburgIsMine · 23/10/2025 23:37

I like to wear longer skirts and dresses OP, but I think the jumper and skirt look absolutely fine.

I like that outfit much better than the red dress one.

poshcrisps · 23/10/2025 23:42

Red dress photo is great OP.

MyAmusedPearlSquid · 24/10/2025 00:58

Unflattering look I would guess 48-52

DietQueen2023 · 24/10/2025 09:13

keepcalmanddance · 23/10/2025 08:16

peoples thoughts on this red dress photo

Vast improvement on your first pic 😊

Westfacing · 24/10/2025 09:36

You/re very brave to shows pics of your clothes - these threads can be brutal!

The red dress is flattering because it's fitted and gives you shape.

In your original photo I'm afraid you look scruffy rather than frumpy - don't send the jumper to a charity shop as pp have said, it's needs to be thrown out as it's out of shape and would be of no use to anyone.

Like you I had good legs and carried my weight around the middle so I know how tempting it is to go big, but it really makes things worse. A top/jumper in good condition, closer fitting and a good few inches shorter would improve your appearance and shape.

Even if your jumper and skirt were brand new the proportions are wrong - that's the 'frump' factor, IMO.

keepcalmanddance · 22/11/2025 18:17

How does this outfit look?

To ask if I look frumpy
OP posts:
PadamPadamPDoom · 22/11/2025 18:32

It isn’t really an outfit for leaving the house in, @keepcalmanddance.

Are you going out this evening?

Merryoldgoat · 22/11/2025 18:35

I don’t want to be rude but that’s not an outfit - it’s casual runaround gear.

I wouldn’t wear that anywhere other than home or errands like school run/supermarket.

keepcalmanddance · 22/11/2025 18:43

That’s pretty much what I do wear it for - errands or school run.. obvs not on a night out

OP posts:
Flyingintotheunknown · 22/11/2025 18:43

Agree with pp’s I wouldn’t wear it apart from maybe at home. And if I’m honest it does look a bit frumpy

PadamPadamPDoom · 22/11/2025 18:47

Ok - I’m not entirely sure if you’re being serious or not …

Unless you badly need it as an extra layer in your bedroom or for house cleaning, the grey item is unacceptable and needs burning. It looks old, thin, shapeless, cheap, and has no redeeming features whatsoever. It’s not even a good colour on you, and doesn’t fit.

The t shirt is jarring and childish. It also looks old and cheap. It might be acceptable underneath a brown suede cropped jacket and tucked into a black leather pencil skirt, so all one would see is a black t shirt with some lettering. That would be ok.

The leggings / trousers - again look like house cleaning wear.

OP, an outfit needs to look as if at least one or two items fit you and have been chosen with care, or are at the very least lovely items in themselves, even if mismatched. Things don’t have to be fashionable but they need to look well cared for.

I am obviously only commenting because you have asked. I wouldn’t stop you on the street to decry your attire. I probably wouldn’t even notice unless it was somewhere where others were smartly dressed.

JurassicPark4Eva · 22/11/2025 19:06

keepcalmanddance · 22/11/2025 18:17

How does this outfit look?

What for? This is very generic - leggings, mismatched socks, ill fitting cardi, unflattering and ill fitting tshirt.... I'd wear it to slop round the house or to bed as pyjamas.

You could easily make this much snarteru- same leggings, matching plain socks with a pair of boots, better cut and plain (not graphic) tshirt and no cardi or a shorter, knitted and better fitting cardi (not one that's pulled out of shape).

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