To not clean up DH’s sick

[Dollyflip]

DH went out for ‘a few drinks’ last night and rolled in at 1.15am. Our bedroom is downstairs and it’s all open plan downstairs. 11DD slept with me as we are up early for football. DD woke as dog was barking when he got back. Anyway he threw up all over himself on the couch it’s EVERYWHERE. DD was scared and upset as she could hear him just being sick. I went out saying ‘what the heck!!’ And left him to deal with it but he hasn’t. And he just sat saying to me stop being a fuckin prick and sorry. Now he’s fast asleep upstairs with all the sick left everywhere and I have to get up with my DD for football. Should I have cleaned it all up?? Or am I right leaving him to deal with it? I’m going upto him now and telling him he needs to sort it out. I’m so repulsed by him. We are going on holiday weds too but the way I feel now I hate his guts. He hasn’t been sick like this for a long time but has had incidents when hes been drunk which has lead to us nearly splitting up numerous times. I feel to blame as if I had split last time this wouldn’t of happened and my DD wouldn’t be upset!

Your daughter will be far happier having her holiday cancelled/postponed and not having to put up with and witness your husbands abusive behaviour to you and to her instead of carrying on this nightmare even longer. Ring women’s aid and educate yourself on what keeping your children in this situation does to them - they often end up with abusive partners themselves because they have grown up thinking this is acceptable because mum stays with dad!

he has no respect for you, puking everywhere and then thinking you should clean it up is beyond unpleasant. Go out with your child as others have suggested and hope that he has cleared it up when you get back and then tell him this is totally unacceptable and ask how he intends to change and behave like a partner and a parent

What a disgusting man child.

I'd be sending him this thread and packing his bags.

He needs to know how vile he is.

Also, book for a cleaning company to come in and do a deep clean and make him pay.

Christ, what an utter PIG.

Cancel the holiday and start divorce proceedings.
Tell you DC you will organise another holiday for just the 3 of you.

The being sick isn’t a dealbreaker for me, the projecting, lack of remorse and nasty behaviour is. It sounds like this isn’t a one off and it’s the last straw. YANBU.

You need to divorce him. He has no respect for you or your children and by staying married to this vile pig you are setting a terrible example to your daughter.

I’ve spent ages cleaning and his reaction was that I’m over reacting! I’m not joking the sick was on the walls, all over the toilet, I could still see some where he had cleaned so I had to clean myself also bicarbonate soda, thanks for whoever mentioned that!

LTB.

Sounds like he has a problem. I would say either you quit drinking or I am out. Disgusting really. Some people have a problem where they just can not stop...basically all or nothing types. I had an ex would drink a lot and kind of stumble etc, thankfully that was it. It might be time to have a sit down to discuss options, as it sounds like he cannot handle his drinking.

Utterly foul. And if you have a 11 year old child and a 16 year child, I am guessing you are no younger than in your late 30s. This is the kind of shit that teenagers get up to, who can't handle their drink.

I'd be looking at this man in a very different light @Dollyflip How would he feel if YOU did this?! And do not clean up the sick. Make him do it.

edited to say...

I see things have moved on and he has attempted to clean it up, but you're having to clean some bits he has missed!

Tell him if this happens again, you'll kick him out.

.

@Dollyflip regardless of the vomit, you say he repulses you. You need to split!

Search the Internet for a local firm who can come tomorrow and do a professional clean. He pays.
Book yourself and child(ren) into a Travelodge or similar (Google for cheapest locally) for a couple of nights, they'll love it. He pays.
Phone school and explain about homework (ideally he phones but it's doubtful he will) perhaps blame the cat for the sick if you don't want school to know the truth.
Whether you leave him or stay with him is up to you.

What’s the point of him?

He’s an alcoholic
He disgusts you and frightens/embarrasses your children
He’s an appalling role model
He’s lazy and entitled
He doesn’t respect you and doesn’t take responsibility for his actions
You have your own money and don’t need his

It’s a no brainer. Let this be the straw that broke the camel’s back. There’s a better life for you and your children.

Did you point it out to him and ask why he thinks it’s an overreaction to not want sick on your walls?

I have 2 adult son's at home 18 and 21 and they have both come home very drunk, one fell up the stairs, giggled, farted and went to bed and had his 2 paracetamol and water he had left himself. His sober self knew his drunk self wouldn't do that.

The other one came in again very drunk, was trying to talk to me but it was like 2 in the morning and I told him he could tell me the next day. About 3 mins later I could hear him being sick. I said did you make it to the toilet, he has never made it to the toilet ever, it was usually on the bathroom floor but that night it was the sink. I asked do you need a hand and he said no my mess I'll clean it up. My other half got up the next morning and there was one bit he missed but I thought he had done well.

So if young ones can come home wrecked and not be sick or expect someone else to clean it up or be an arse why can't he.

I generally have a bit of sympathy for people who vomit from drinking every once in a while. I know it can sometimes catch you unaware and is absolutely mortifying when it happens.
But, to projectile vomit all over your house as if he’s redecorating, and then be so aggressive towards you is way out of line. Leave him to clear it up.

Sorry! Just seen your update.

Good for you. You and your daughter deserve better xx

Good for you OP. Being sick over your own child’s homework is unforgivable. What a nob.

I am surprised by the number of people on here who would think this man deserves any more chances. Just once would be enough for me. Beyond disgusting.

Now the alcohol must be wearing off he’s apologised and changed his tune. Thanked me for cleaning up. Doesn’t change the way I feel unfortunately.

Too little too late I’d say. What a poor excuse of a man.

There's no excuse for the husband.

I cleaned up after my late husband when necessary...but the difference is that he was a stroke victim, didn't vomit because of drink and was extremely embarrassed and apologetic on those rare occasions when it happened. (The stroke had affected his stomach and sometimes a change of medication caused an unexpected reaction. His mobility issues meant that he couldn't get to the bathroom in time.)

Be done this time, it sounds like you have zero respect left for him, and I feel pleased for you….sometimes it’s like a big bright warm sunshine has just woken you from a nasty dream.
No go outside and skip off to find a life you deserve to have.

Dig him out of bed and read him the riot act. You and DD are out for football and other activities and it needs to be properly cleaned up before you get back, then he needs to pay for a new sofa, as the acid in the vomit will have ruined it. And then a serious conversation about the way forward, if there is one, because it sounds as though he has a significant problem with alcohol.