Could he find someone to have a child with

[ILoveAnjanaVasan]

Crazy question, and I haven't thought this through or spoken to my partner about it so don't take it too seriously!
I am much older than him and can't have kids. He was undecided about having his own children but we got together anyway and he is happy with me.
I have always felt a bit guilty about him not having the opportunity to have his own children and while pondering this I wondered if he should try and have a child with someone else. So my crazy question is this. Could he find someone who is single and wanted to share parenting with him. Maybe someone who hasn't met the right person or who is gay? Is this a thing and has anyone ever heard of this happening in real life?

No!

Could you live with him having sex with another woman and her always being in her life. I think he has two choices to accept if he is with you that he remain childless or to end the relationship. However this is his decision to make and you need to be mindful you aren't pushing him away. Niot everyone wants children and are happy with life as it is.

They don't have to have sex or be in a relationship to have a child together

Do you want to be a parent?

this is very odd - if he has told you he was undecided and is happy with you. Why don’t you believe him?

I don’t want kids. If my H made such an offer to me I’d be highly offended to be honest.

I am a parent, my children are grown up. I wouldn't want to be a full time mum again but would support him if he did (want to do it part time)

I think you are very naive, of course they will be in a co parenting relationship. You would be crazy to suggest this. She will always be there.

Possibly. But these kind of intentional co-parenting situation usually come about through friendship.

Has he mentioned wanting children recently?? If not a bit odd you wanting to propose this idea to him

No child deserves to actively be brought into a situation with separated parents and the lack of stability that brings. Would you be interested in fostering or adopting and building a family together?

Oh, yes a co-parenting relationship of course they would have to be. I don't want to be in a poly amorous relationship or anything like that.

That would be really weird all round I'm afraid & it could cause some serious predicaments for you both. What would you do at Christmas if he wanted to spend it with his child and so did it's mother? Sit at home alone? You could end up jealous, lonely & full of resentment. If he seems happy with you just enjoy it! If he wanted a family of his own he probably would have done so by now.

This is why I am pondering on here and haven't spoken to him about it

No, I wouldn't want to be a full time parent. I don't see why it would be unstable?

What do separated parents do at Christmas?

This pipe dream won't work out. That child would be in your life as long as he is your partner. It would take him away from you too.

It sounds like it could be quite complicated and have risks, but I believe there are co-parenting websites. Potentially they could help match him with someone, I don't know. I know someone who chose to co-parent with a platonic friend (they are both heterosexual but had not met the right person), they were friends before though. Assume one of them could meet a romantic partner, then would be quite similar to the situation you describe considering.

Would it be easier for you to adopt together though or would you be able to use donor eggs and you carry the child (if safe clinically for you to do this of course)

I doubt I will propose the idea to him tbh

I think it's up to him to drive this if its something he wants. Presumably he's been with you knowing this was a choice he'd have to make and he's made it to happily be with you. I think I'd accept that at face value. If things are working well for you both why muddy the waters. And most importantly would this be in the best interests of whatever child gets brought into the world.

That makes sense

Interesting, I think you'd have to be very certain about the person you chose to co-parent

Completely agree.

You are looking at this through the lens of being a parent already.

not everyone wants children. it’s not a need that everyone has.

Is this filling a hole you actually have in your life somehow?

He hasn’t mentioned it to you. Why is this even an idea?

OP missed you saying above you wouldn't want to be a full time parent, so my suggestions about adoption or donor eggs are not very helpful. If you don't want to be a full time parent though, I am not sure co-parenting is very good idea, if anything were to happen to the co-parent you would become a full time parent. Just a consideration of course.

No, no holes in my life it's just that question in the back of my mind if there is one in his