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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Dislike knitted baby gifts from family member

331 replies

LoftyOliveDreamer · 18/10/2025 00:08

A member of our family continuously knits baby gifts for our children, there is not usually much consideration for appropriate seasons regards to age/sizing and the patterns/colours are always quite garish. We feel awful because there is clearly a lot of time and effort gone into these. The person is a beautiful knitter however she will not take any suggestions on colours, or doing a more neutral/single colour piece that would mean it can be paired with other items.

We are left with sooo many items piling up unused, many are completely inappropriate sizing so they are zero use to us. However the ones that may fit are always wild patterns or very dated styles. Photo is just recent examples

We have tried to talk to this person many times but as mentioned before they do not listen. I feel pressured to quietly donate many of them because we simply do not have the space to store so many unused items, and I would hope someone else can appreciate and get some use out of them

Our last ditch attempt is suggesting a specific pattern book so hopefully this works, do you have any suggestions? Am I being unreasonable, are these examples nice?

OP posts:
Gwenhwyfar · 18/10/2025 08:29

They're for a baby. What does a baby care about style?

LeticiaMorales · 18/10/2025 08:32

Gwenhwyfar · 18/10/2025 08:29

They're for a baby. What does a baby care about style?

A couple of weeks ago I saw a little girl toddler in a denim mini skirt, those Ugg boots and a leather jacket. I thought it looked awful. Let her be a baby!

Gwenhwyfar · 18/10/2025 08:35

LeticiaMorales · 18/10/2025 08:32

A couple of weeks ago I saw a little girl toddler in a denim mini skirt, those Ugg boots and a leather jacket. I thought it looked awful. Let her be a baby!

Well, yes, that was inappropriate because she was wearing mini versions of adult clothes.
That's not the case here.

Nomdejeur · 18/10/2025 08:37

I quite like them, the little cardigans are so different from what you see in the shops. I fail to see how you are struggling to pair them with an outfit?

LeticiaMorales · 18/10/2025 08:37

Gwenhwyfar · 18/10/2025 08:35

Well, yes, that was inappropriate because she was wearing mini versions of adult clothes.
That's not the case here.

I didn't say it was the case here.

Mydoglovescheese · 18/10/2025 08:38

My DSis has just become a grandmother and asked me to make something for the new baby. I’ve asked her to let me know what the new parents want - style, colour etc and won’t be offended if they don’t want anything handmade. I don’t want to waste time making something that isn’t wanted and won’t be worn.

SpringingOn · 18/10/2025 08:39

I really like the pink cable jumper but not so much the cardigans. They do look skillfully done though so if you could steer to something of your taste - it could be a win win!

Barney16 · 18/10/2025 08:40

Well they are a very good knitter. As others have said already I would hate anything knitted with that weird nylony wool but other than that I think they are rather lovely, knitted with love in fact. My mum got round the volume of knitted items from her mum by asking her to knit us a birthday jumper every year. Something like that?

RaininSummer · 18/10/2025 08:40

I like the two patchwork jackets. Try telling the knitter that your child saw something specific and wondered if they could make it for them next time.

NarnianQueen · 18/10/2025 08:41

That’s not at all what I had in my head when you said garish and dated! I was imagining some of the monstrosities in my mum’s old April’s magazines of the 80s 😂
i think these are not too bad at all. But being given gifts that YOU don’t like is the issue.

Hedgehog23 · 18/10/2025 08:42

If you want to give them a specific pattern, I would frame it more as you have seen a pattern you would love for your little one and would they as a favour be able to knit it for you? You might also want to buy the yarn if you want specific materials/colour, though you may need to make some compromises as the knitter might have preferences there (such as not liking to knit with some materials, not knitting a huge amount of dark colours - which can be harder to see).

junebirthdaygirl · 18/10/2025 08:47

Could you redirect her to knit a throw for their bedroom..in colour that suits. They take ages and can be a lovely item to keep for years. My kids were very itchy with knitted stuff 8so could you use that as an excuse.
Saying that putting on the pink cardigan and hat for a walk in the woods or to play in the garden wouldn't kill anyone . Every moment doesn't have to be a fashion moment.

AmethystAnnotation · 18/10/2025 08:48

Can you you donate the unwanted items? A charity such as a women's refuge, or one supporting families in poverty might jump at unworn, hand-knitted children's clothing. My MIL knits and she is always knitting clothes for some charity or other.

Drivingmsdaisy · 18/10/2025 08:50

I don’t like them - I’m hugely fussy with knitted items. I always find wool super itchy (aware it’s a me issue) so I’ve never been super keen to put my babies in it.
My mum is a great knitter, it’s a hobby for her, but most are really old fashioned in style which I never liked. I was fairly direct and sent through pics of more modern patterns/colours and she was on board.
Is this relative someone you can be direct with?

If you truly don’t like them, just donate them or say that the wool caused an irritation and give them back “because they’re too lovely to go to waste”?

BertSymptom · 18/10/2025 08:51

We have a relative who knits DC bits and bobs and we have received both surprises and requests. I think hand knitted bits will always look quite dated in a room of toddlers and kids dressed as they do today but the nostalgia is part of the charm for me and I have loved some of the real classic pieces we’ve received. Some of the colour choices have been a bit of a surprise but I think a kid in lovingly made knitwear is so cute I don’t really mind the mismatch. Whenever DC is out in a knitted creation we do get compliments and asked where we got them.

I do get that they’re bold designs and if you’re really into beige babies and more modern looks it just won’t be your thing. It’s a real shame your knitter hasn’t accepted any direction in terms of colours or styles because you could have some really nice pieces. Have you tried buying the wool and passing it over saying you loved X design can you have it again in this colour in Y size?

Could be they just like to knit their favourites and your family is a good excuse. Only you can say how well meaning you think these gifts are but I’d politely thank, maybe take a pic if you think it’ll be appreciated and donate them elsewhere.

FineandDandie · 18/10/2025 08:52

Anyahyacinth · 18/10/2025 00:42

Aww I think they're adorable, liquorice allsorts colours. Loads of good suggestions in other posts. Bright colours are super good for babies development if that helps soothe the irritation 🥰🫶

I fully agree! Also - it's just kids clothes, it's not that deep.

ACR7 · 18/10/2025 08:52

I really like the pink and white jumper. I’d definitely have no problems putting that on my daughter.

RandomGeocache · 18/10/2025 08:53

I’ve received much much worse from my MIL and just said ‘thanks’ then put them in the bin

So wasteful.

I am a knitter - don't have grandchildren to knit for so mostly knit for myself or charity. Knitters are very resourceful and will look at knitted items in charity shops not just as the items themselves, but as a source of yarn, items which can be unravelled and knitted up into something entirely different.

Donate them, even if they are not to your taste.

SandrenaIsMyBloodType · 18/10/2025 08:58

I always make a point to admire hanknitted outfits on babies and toddlers when I see them out and about. They make a baby looked so loved.

LeticiaMorales · 18/10/2025 09:01

SandrenaIsMyBloodType · 18/10/2025 08:58

I always make a point to admire hanknitted outfits on babies and toddlers when I see them out and about. They make a baby looked so loved.

They do, that's so nice.
I'm feeling a bit sentimental, because my auntie who knitted for my (now adult DC) is no longer with us. I used to love opening her parcels of cardis and hats. ❤️

ChampagneLassie · 18/10/2025 09:02

As a one off fine, but this would wind me up, I hate waste. I’d be blunt, and sort of order what you want we’d LOVE a plain single colour in this wool, buy the wool and specify size. If they continue to give you stuff like this, oh this is such a waste it’s too small & not practical it’s going straight to charity.

KeepTalkingBeth · 18/10/2025 09:02

Those are not to my taste (I hate the look and feel of knits) but I don't think they are garish. I see true horrors in craft fairs sometimes - think shapeless clothes with purple, green and pink stripes, plus metallic effects, in 100% polyester yarn. What you have been given is nothing like that.

If you don't like them you could keep them in your nappy bag or in your car as part of a spare set of clothes?

TeaRoseTallulah · 18/10/2025 09:03

ChampagneLassie · 18/10/2025 09:02

As a one off fine, but this would wind me up, I hate waste. I’d be blunt, and sort of order what you want we’d LOVE a plain single colour in this wool, buy the wool and specify size. If they continue to give you stuff like this, oh this is such a waste it’s too small & not practical it’s going straight to charity.

It's not waste of it goes to the charity shop.

Toooldtopretend · 18/10/2025 09:04

It’s such a shame she’s spending her time where it’s not going to good use - her knitting is lovely but I totally understand your issue on the colours.

There are loads of causes out there that would massively appreciate her talent. As an example, Salford Baby Bank provides care packages for families most in need and they always like to include a hand made item to personalise the boxes. Apparently blankets are really needed as babies are dying as they are being smothered by people using things like dressing gowns to cover them as they have no other options whereas the knitted/crocheted items are breathable.

could you suggest knitting for something like that?

ChampagneLassie · 18/10/2025 09:05

TeaRoseTallulah · 18/10/2025 09:03

It's not waste of it goes to the charity shop.

I mean there’s a good chance it gets binned off, not bought. Making things more people would like would make more sense