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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Dislike knitted baby gifts from family member

331 replies

LoftyOliveDreamer · 18/10/2025 00:08

A member of our family continuously knits baby gifts for our children, there is not usually much consideration for appropriate seasons regards to age/sizing and the patterns/colours are always quite garish. We feel awful because there is clearly a lot of time and effort gone into these. The person is a beautiful knitter however she will not take any suggestions on colours, or doing a more neutral/single colour piece that would mean it can be paired with other items.

We are left with sooo many items piling up unused, many are completely inappropriate sizing so they are zero use to us. However the ones that may fit are always wild patterns or very dated styles. Photo is just recent examples

We have tried to talk to this person many times but as mentioned before they do not listen. I feel pressured to quietly donate many of them because we simply do not have the space to store so many unused items, and I would hope someone else can appreciate and get some use out of them

Our last ditch attempt is suggesting a specific pattern book so hopefully this works, do you have any suggestions? Am I being unreasonable, are these examples nice?

OP posts:
LeticiaMorales · 18/10/2025 07:49

That's what I used to do! A babygro and a cardi.

lavenderandlemon · 18/10/2025 07:57

DenmarkStreet · 18/10/2025 07:40

I'm a knitter/ crafter when I have time. You have to realise that the joy for the knitter is in the process of knitting. For this person I would also not think that she is that interested in the actual outcome as she doesn't care or listen to your preferences. Possibly once done it is out of mind as she is on the next project. So I'd say feel free to dispose of, but to a charity shop they are unlikely to attend.

Exactly what I was about to post! Knitting is her hobby that she enjoys, having young kids in the family is just an excuse to go full steam ahead doing something you enjoy!

In your position OP, I wouldn't worry too much about treasuring every single one of them as sentimental family heirlooms (but I probably would keep a few of the nicer ones to look back at when they're older). Right now, if they fit, they can wear them for playing in. If they don't fit, could they be doll's clothes? Or maybe suggest to relative that she knit a doll to match them? Otherwise, pass them on to someone else or charity shop them.

Princessconsuelabananahammock9 · 18/10/2025 07:58

Those are gorgeous!

How are those garish?

They have a vintage Chanel vibe.

Traeth · 18/10/2025 08:00

I love knitting or crocheting when I’m doing it for someone else. I know it sounds cheesy, but each time I’m working on the item, I think of that person. So the end result is one of love. But …. I do ask the person first as I would hate to land someone with something they hated.

I do think it’s more difficult for you now as there’s a pattern (excuse the pun!) and she has no clue you don’t like or use them. So I’d go with the suggestion to ask her if she could make something you’d love and that you’d love and buy the wool yourself. Good quality acrylic isn’t dirt cheap.colours of course personal taste! If you know nothing about knitting yourself, as PPs have said, for many it’s the process, but seasoned knitters or crocheters have their preferences as to what they enjoy making too so I wouldn’t assume on that front.

I have had offers of making stuff for people declined, no biggie for me, I feel pleased they can be honest and I’ve avoided what you’re describing.

I think the items look well made and the cable one I couldn’t even dream to try, too much focus required there for my liking!

MooDengOfThailand · 18/10/2025 08:00

My sister had a similar problem.

I solved it by taking all the knitted baby stuff to a charity shop in a city 100 km away that I was visiting for a day's shopping.

Baital · 18/10/2025 08:01

I quite like them, but if they are not to your taste then whether other people like them is irrelevant!

Photo and donate, or use as back up/ extra layers / for mud wrestling.

Melonjuice · 18/10/2025 08:02

I think they’re gorgeous ! Definitely not dated or garish at all - these are colours Ive seen in places like River Island baby, and reminds me of a set I bought from John Lewis a couple of years ago
you need to tell her not to knit stuff for the kids any more - you have enough clothes and no where to put everything
she obviously loves knitting and giving and would be thinking of your children while she’s knitting so this is coming out of love but tell her there are lots of children in the community who could really do with these clothes , she could also knit and donate to her local NICU / instead- these little babies need these woolly bits to keep warm . I appreciated them when my daughter was in there. Maybe you could donate yours there? There are also baby clothing banks you can give them to

ParmaVioletTea · 18/10/2025 08:03

I don’t think they’re dated or garish. If it’s real wool, then they look very warm and practical.

Just say thank you and use what you can, and donate the rest.

Princessconsuelabananahammock9 · 18/10/2025 08:03

MumChp · 18/10/2025 07:30

Depends who you are.... I wouldn't dress my child in them.

You wouldn’t put a sweater made for your baby on because you don’t like the colour?

We are talking about a baby…

I always wonder how picky parents manage when their kids are old enough to pick out their own clothes.

phoenixrosehere · 18/10/2025 08:04

I think only the one on the far right is nice but that doesn’t matter. You don’t like them and you don’t have to accept or keep them if you don’t want them. There is no obligation to keep a gift regardless if you like it or not.

I have three children and I can count on one hand how many wore knitted items as babies. It was rarely ever cold enough for them to wear them and only one child actually liked hats but that wasn’t until he was a toddler. We used a blanket maybe once but they outgrew it quickly and actual jumpers and hats, no. It ended up being mostly clutter and donated later.

Perhaps, they could knit for local hospitals. I still have the tiny knit beanie I received when my daughter was born. Quite big when she was born but recently tried to put it on a few days ago but it barely fits her head now.

I hate to think of anyone wasting their time and if I had a hobby that could be gifted I would rather hear from the recipient if the gift is desired and would be treasured

Agree with this! Good luck.

LeticiaMorales · 18/10/2025 08:04

Princessconsuelabananahammock9 · 18/10/2025 08:03

You wouldn’t put a sweater made for your baby on because you don’t like the colour?

We are talking about a baby…

I always wonder how picky parents manage when their kids are old enough to pick out their own clothes.

I think some parents just like babies and toddlers in mini adults clothes, with logos.

Baital · 18/10/2025 08:05

Oh, and a special blanket is timeless.

Look at the Debbie Abrahams 'blankets and throws' books (maybe in your local library, but second hand cheap and plentiful on line) and see if there's any you like. A wide variety of styles, and a good few knitting hours to complete!

Then ask and see if they are up for it...

Shamesame · 18/10/2025 08:05

We have the same issue - I’ve sent pictures of styles of jumpers and cardigans when requested along with preferred colours and they always come back with cheap acrylic wool and colours and patterns I really don’t like. We do a photo and thank you and put them in a box for future dolls clothes.

Cherrysoup · 18/10/2025 08:08

I want the pink jumper in my size!

user1476613140 · 18/10/2025 08:09

All I see is Licquorice Allsorts.

Ednot2024 · 18/10/2025 08:09

I like them! Better than boring beige. Are they wool or acrylic?

OutOfDateTreacle · 18/10/2025 08:09

Yep, absolutely dreadful.
What a shame. Such skill channelled into these hideous things.
Buy a pattern and the wool for something tasteful, that you’d really like, and ask her if you can pay her to make it. That if she’s got too much on there’s another lady in the village that takes on little commissions. Hopefully she’ll just crack on and knit it up for you.
But the rest of it can go straight to the charity shop.

abracadabra1980 · 18/10/2025 08:09

MumChp · 18/10/2025 00:16

Just say thank you. Take a nice pic of the children in it and pass it on. No harm done.

This! Next time you see them the child ‘has grown out of it’. I feel your pain. My mother does the same thing with cooking - refusal offends but sometimes I could scream when I get handed a box of whatever she’s been baking and asked sternly ‘for the plastic box back’ - so that’s just another thing to do to add to myne er ending TTD list. Having told her for 30+ years, I don’t eat puddings or cakes, I’ve just come to the conclusion she does it for her own self gratification, so just let her get on with it. And she can wait for the bastard box back. Boils my piss, though it shouldn’t 🤣

Newsenmum · 18/10/2025 08:11

LoftyOliveDreamer · 18/10/2025 00:08

A member of our family continuously knits baby gifts for our children, there is not usually much consideration for appropriate seasons regards to age/sizing and the patterns/colours are always quite garish. We feel awful because there is clearly a lot of time and effort gone into these. The person is a beautiful knitter however she will not take any suggestions on colours, or doing a more neutral/single colour piece that would mean it can be paired with other items.

We are left with sooo many items piling up unused, many are completely inappropriate sizing so they are zero use to us. However the ones that may fit are always wild patterns or very dated styles. Photo is just recent examples

We have tried to talk to this person many times but as mentioned before they do not listen. I feel pressured to quietly donate many of them because we simply do not have the space to store so many unused items, and I would hope someone else can appreciate and get some use out of them

Our last ditch attempt is suggesting a specific pattern book so hopefully this works, do you have any suggestions? Am I being unreasonable, are these examples nice?

I was going to say yabu but I totally agree, somehow theyve made it so ugly!

If youve said “im sorry this really isnt my style” and they keep doing it I’d just give them away.

LeticiaMorales · 18/10/2025 08:11

Cherrysoup · 18/10/2025 08:08

I want the pink jumper in my size!

It's so cute! I don't even mind the jackets. Brown and cream isn't garish and is very "in"!

HopingForTheBest25 · 18/10/2025 08:12

She's knitting for her own pleasure, not as a kindness to you. Since she doesn't seem to care whether the sizing is right or you like the colour choices, you should feel no guilt at just passing it all straight on. She's isn't doing you a favour - she's dumping her hobby onto you and completely disregarding your own preferences for dressing your own baby. It's rude imo, not something you need to feel grateful for or guilty about.

Btowngirl · 18/10/2025 08:15

What size is the jumper & hat actually, I think DD2 would look so cute in that over winter 😂

Devonmaid1844 · 18/10/2025 08:16

I also have this - totally disagree with the stance of taking a picture and passing it on as that just adds to the ridiculousness of it.

We realised they weren't knitting for us, they were knitting because they liked to knit stuff like that. So would kindly say 'sorry that's not really what we'd normally put XX in, and would rather something like this', they quickly went back to knitting random things for other people and problem was solved.

LeticiaMorales · 18/10/2025 08:17

Such a problem to have!
Some easy solutions on here, OP.

ChildrenOfTheQuorn · 18/10/2025 08:23

I think the only items I've 'refused' to put on my child are really well worn, bad quality items. Not items that just aren't to my taste. I've been gifted a lot of knits and it's always a conversation starter at baby classes, people are jealous!

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