To feel a bit weird about the casual use of spoon theory

[smalldogdancing]

I work in further education and share a class with someone. She has started to start and end sessions asking people how many spoons they have.

I have an invisible disability and spoon theory is a way to communicate the challenges of that to those who do not. Hearing it used in this way has left me
feeling a bit strange. I suspect I’m being a bit precious about it though, too sensitive.

Not planning to say anything, I really like her and she’s good at her job. I’m just surprised by how much it’s unsettled me. I’ve found being chronically ill very lonley in part because it’s so difficult to explain. Just curious to hear what folk think.

It’s very commomly used with ND people too. Teaching all young people to aware of their energy levels and matching their comitments to how much energy they have is sensible in my opinion. It’s especially important for those who may struggle with energy level like people which chronic health conditions, ND people, carers and even those with an acute health issue need to be mindful that they have different levels of energy at different times. By using it with everyone they’re being inclusive to those who may have less energy in the long term.

It would irritate me because it is Pathologising able, healthy, NT young adults. And encouraging unecessary self absorption.

Their job is to be there in a fit state to learn and use common sense to manage themselves.

Like normal everyday life, grip in place.

I am in danger of using the S word (❄️ ) so will leave it there.

Interesting. I really dislike the theory as it's just not 'me' and think people would look at me if I was crackers if I started talking about spoons. But I don't think it can apply to acute illnesses. It ignores the horror of chronic illnesses and disabilities. Someone said "people don't care and you need to accept that" and I perhaps think "people don't understand and you need to accept that"

I don’t think the tutor is necessarily being ‘casual’ in her use and she’s not being rubbish to ask ‘how is your energy?’
but what will she do with the answers that come? People who feel rubbish and say so need to know that wouldn’t be met with a bad or wierd reaction. It would have to feel like a comfortable place to be honest. Is it that?

It’s not something I would use in front of other people about a cold but most people would acknowledge to themsleves that they feel a but shitty with a cold and therefore are going to to skip the gym and make an easier dinner. This is exactly what spoon theory is, working out how much energy you have and what to spend it on.

Can you? Can you leave a work mandadated foisted upon training session with out your job being compromised?

Why is it annoying if other people use it? Like pp say, there's no monopoly on its usage!

Fair enough. That makes sense.

I can understand why this would bother you. I do think that frequent co-opting of language used to explain disability is massively diluting the meaning and genuine understanding of the reality of disability.

similarly, it makes me feel annoyed when I hear people talking of having ‘burnout’ when they have had a rough week and need an early night.

It’s stupid anyway. Spoons 🙄

Who do you think owns the term 'burnout'? In that example they're talking about occupational burnout?
a state of emotional and physical exhaustion caused by chronic, unmanaged workplace stress. It can manifest as feelings of detachment, demotivation, and hopelessness, and can impact a person's ability to function. The World Health Organization (WHO) recognizes burnout as an "occupational phenomenon.
There's other types, but noone should be saying 'you can't be having burnout" that's owned by me!!'

I don’t think anyone owns it. But I think it is a term that is victim to linguistic bleaching.

burnout is debilitating. It’s not feeling tired or run down after a heavy week. I see it used in this way and it frustrates me.

I work in a profession where ‘occupational’ burnout is a massive risk, and I’ve seen the devastation it can cause. I’m also married to someone with ND who has experienced burnout, with real and long lasting consequences . I’m ND and I know I’ve skirted it, but thankfully have managed to avoid it.

I'm not trying to be the ‘burnout’ police. I just think it’s an overused and misunderstood term. Much like the OP seems to feel about spoon theory.

I don't think it has to be pathologising. It can be a good way to teach people about the concept of pacing themselves, which is a good lesson, especially when we have families who expect us to do and be everything for everyone. Another way of teaching boundaries and self-management maybe? That's something everyone can do with and, if you're a visual learner, this might be a good way.

I have heard of spoon theory and it’s never made sense to me. The number of spoons I have would depend on how large or small each spoon is supposed to be? Is 1 spoon = 15min of concentration or 150mins? Is 1 spoon = walk 150m or run 1.5 miles?

(I am disabled btw)

It seems weird to be asked to reveal something so personal? For those who are just a bit tired, it's a straightforward question, for those with an invisible disability it is a more intrusive question - how open someone with a disability wants to be varies person to person and day to day.

Your feelings about this question are valid, it is an intrusive question. Is everyone required to answer? That's not ok.

I think you could explain to your manager.

Oh, that's a thought - asking the question reveals who has heard of the concept, meaning that they are not afforded privacy or dignity in whether they reveal a disability - and it pressures people to reveal how they feel in front of others;

'How are you and how many spoons have you got after being with me for an hour?

Ten
Ten
Ten
Eleven
Ten
Ten
Two

'What did I do? Did I not energise you? What can you do to feel happier? I'm sad now. I want everybody to have tens.'

Whilst others mutter or say outright;

What's wrong with you to say 2?
There's always one that has to be different.
She just does it for attention

'

Exactly, I have mid stage Parkinson’s, I shuffle, have limited energy, get told I look well, I don’t use spoons theory, do what I can.
9 yrs in at 63, hate it.
luckily I can’t work