fathausen by proxy?

[Jugjug]

I’ll preface by saying I don’t judge people with overweight children in the street because I don’t know their story or if the child has health conditions or has to take medication which causes weight gain.
I also don’t judge people who give their kids the occasional treat obviously.
I also don’t judge people with overweight older children/teenagers because I remember being that age and inhaling sweets my friends brought to school.

Now thats been said I know a few parents with visibly morbidly obese toddlers and the parents make no effort to sort it out and hand them family size bags of sweets as a snack!
Surely there must be something psychologically deeper going on here munchausens maybe? I just don’t get it

I imagine if a toddler grows up seeing their parents eat a lot, they might be less likely to refuse food as it seems like innate behaviour.

I'm interested in what causes this though - I had unlimited crisps, chocolate and junk as a kid and was still underweight. I also really struggle to get my toddler to eat enough - so what causes these toddlers to be obese? It can't just be the parents because I can't get my toddler to eat loads, even junk like chocolate etc

That's an interesting theory. I had unlimited UPF as a kid, my mum always tried to make us eat more, and I was underweight. My mum barely ate anything either (she lived on one small meal a day). Maybe it's more about kids copying their parents than the food theyre given, I hadn't considered that

The OP is not saying fat people shouldn’t exist, come on.

toddlers should not be obese. Young children should not be obese. It is not fat shaming to say this. It’s important to discuss it. It’s factual. And it’s doing a massive disservice to these children who struggle with all the factors that come with being obese to just sweep it under the carpet.

Exactly

I think it's more common over in the States.
I see lots of documentaries with very young children that are already obese.

People can say that my post is a misconception and point to the economics of cooking from scratch but it’s more nuanced than that. Yes if people cooked some pasta and a home made tomato sauce it would be cheap and healthy but lower income households are actively targeted to buy shit highly processed foods and the price and relative ease in comparison is an incentive.

It’s not a controversial view. Here’s an article from the president of the RCPCH and there’s plenty more in a similar vein https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2023/apr/17/britain-childhood-obesity-emergency-is-poverty-type-2-diabetes

They brought a shopping trolley to jousting?!? 🤣🤣🤣

In my case, I reeeeeally liked chocolate, I recall. Also tablet. (For those outside Scotland - it's a bit like Kendal mint cake, but crumblier.)

However, I'd been taught to eat and finish anything put in front of me..and because of how he'd suffered in the war, Dad liked to see me eating.

He did shift work and - even though I'd already eaten - when he got home, he'd put some of his meal onto a side plate for me. I never turned it down.

I also recall Mum telling me off for cutting fat off meat: "It's the sweetest part." I guess that that was because meat was expensive.

I did lose all the weight in the end, but put some of it back on as an adult. I gained weight whilst on medication and then lost it all, but gradually put that all back on again over the space of 20 plus years - I found food comforting.

Now in my 60s, I'm exercising and trying to eat healthily. I agree with those who say that allowing a child to become fat is deeply problematic.

I find what's been said about overeating contributing to height rather interesting: I was the tallest in our reception class. Mind you, Dad was nearly 6ft. I'm 5ft 9 inches.

I'll add here that I had lost all my excess weight by the time that I was 7 years old. (I have the pictures to prove it.) Unfortunately, I have issues with food to this day.

I grew up with having to eat everything on my plate. Even now as an adult i struggle with leaving food when full.

My kids are wee skinny things and I dont force them to eat. I make a meal if they eat half great if they don't eat any of it I'll save it for a bit till they are ready. Meal times are very relaxed.

As a child in the 90s (so not THAT long ago but probably lower obesity rates?) we-

Played out all the time
Didn’t get carted round in SUVs to every event or ‘activity’

Didn’t have parents obsessed with always making sure we had ‘snack’ taken on outings

I also feel like my parents (and friends parents) didn’t work as much compared to a lot of parents now where both are full-time and cooking healthy meals from scratch every night might feel less achievable.

Can you point to where exactly I said that 🤣
im talking about morbidly obese toddlers not you, do you really think literal toddlers should be so big they can’t run around with their friends? You must be joking

Genetics plays a role too. Whether familial genetics or luck of the draw. My step children eat an awful diet and don't get anywhere near enough exercise and always have and they are skin and bones.

My nephew always has home cooked food and whole foods, but he is just huge. His parents are healthy and slim and exercise lots. But he was huge even as a solely breastfed baby. He's the sweetest kindest and wisest boy I know.

I often take my nephew out for the day and I am currently very large (normally a size 8-10 but heavy steroids made me balloon). I know people are probably looking at us and judging us /me. But we have far too much fun and far too many interesting things to talk about to care.

People may find "why we eat (too much)" an illuminating book. Metabolism and genetics have a big role to play too.

I have been fat since I was a child and have struggled over the years with periodically losing weight and then regaining it, often becoming heavier each time.

As a consequence, I was mindful that my DS didn't follow the same route and despite my issues with food and struggling with my weight, he was a slim child.

So many of us overweight/obese parents actively work to make sure our children don't follow in our footsteps.

Unfortunately Ive seen many obese toddlers and children through my job and in society in general.
Few months ago I was on the bus going to work, was about 8.30am. Saw a mum at the bus stop with child about 5 in school uniform and a toddler in buggy, both extremely overweight..
Mam handed them sausage rolls and jambons from the local deli ( could have had a mental morning, needed quick warm food, I get it) But then she took out a large bottle of 7up and poured it into the little girls school water bottle and put it back in school bag along with extra sausage rolls and crisps, for her lunch I presume. 🙄 This is fully neglect.

What rubbish!

I've been fat since I was a child and have constant battles trying to lose weight and then regaining it with a bit more added. As I get older I have health issues that would be improved to some extent if I could reduce my weight.

Everyone knows the health implications that mount up, the playground bullying and isolation and not being able to keep up in PE lessons. Parents should be doing everything as far as possible to prevent that happening to their children. It's not being 'ableist' to ensure children keep to a healthy weight. It's ensuring as far as possible that you don't contribute to poor health outcomes and social issues for your child in the future.

But the quantity of food given to overweight children costs more so I don't understand the poverty argument always. We went to a class outing at McDonald's in the school holidays. In the few hours we were there the mum of the very overweight 2 boys purchased them a full size meal with a drink, followed by an icecream and then two large milk shake type drinks (like the half a day's caloric intake each). Would have cost a heap and the boys weren't even asking for more - she just called them over from the play area to keep eating and drinking.

@Fuzzywoo the fatism is when you assume that everyone can and should be a "healthy weight" when actually you mean "should visually look to be a certain body fat percentage".

I have lipoedema. I have had it from a child. People like you assumed I was unhealthy and greedy. I was neither, I was just different. People saying my difference is wrong and should be erased is hateful.

It's just plain ignorant too.

It's established knowledge now that genetics plays a big role too. People have hugely varying metabolisms.

It is neglect. Physical and nutritional neglect, which includes failing to provide basic needs such as adequate food.

Neglecting to give them healthy nutritious food
Neglecting to ensure they exercise (active hobbies, running about, playing outside)
Neglecting to consider portion sizes
Neglecting to minimise unhealthy snacks/treats

it is a type of neglect that often goes under the radar because they could be the most loving and emotionally present parents, but fail to see how their eating and exercising habits are extremely damaging to a child both physically and mentally.

Did you fail to read where I said I’m talking about people I personally know who give their toddlers huge bags of chocolates and sweets every day.
even said in my first post I’m not judging people I don’t know. This isn’t about you

No, it's about you and your hatred for a difference. Fat people are not wrong to exist. People are not in the wrong for existing where fat. You looked at a difference and went "those people should not be different".

I genuinely cannot tell if you’re joking. Yes I looked at some people I personally know with morbidly obese toddlers who eat mounds of cakes and seeets every day and thought that should not be happening.

i made it quite clear in my post that I was only talking about that specific scenario.

Do you seriously think that toddlers should be so big they can’t play with their friends when it doesn’t have to be that way?

Where are all these morbidly obese toddlers?
OP, like so many others, has a dislike of fat people and is just trying another angle.
Stupid, lazy (and now child abusing for good measure) fat people.
Hanging is too good for them.
Same old, same old.