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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To find salary offered an insult?

508 replies

Willowtree5 · 16/10/2025 14:20

As part of a restructure, I have been asked if I would take on three direct reports (I currently don’t manage anyone, but have in the past - big pull of current role was no line management responsibility).

I said I’d consider it - whilst I know I can manage people, it does add to my workload and the ‘mental load’ of dealing with all the crap around sickness/absence, 1:1’s etc.

My manager said she’d establish what additional uplift to my salary would be possible and let me know.

They’ve come back with an offer of £125,000 (current salary pre bonuses £105,000) which I find frankly insulting given the workload this would add.

AIBU to tell them to stuff it?

OP posts:
godmum56 · 16/10/2025 16:32

take it, don't take it but stop with the "insulted" flouncing.

TogetherWeRise · 16/10/2025 16:37

@Willowtree5
Wow.
I'm a hospital ward Sister.
I am responsible for managing the care of 26 critically ill patients and a team of 20 staff of mixed skill levels, some of whom need huge levels of supervision to ensure high standards of care.
I am paid a salary of £47,810. London.
I would be crying with gratitude to be earning your current salary, let alone your proposed one.
What job do you do?

defrazzled · 16/10/2025 16:37

😂

Neemie · 16/10/2025 16:40

How much trouble are these 3 people going to be?!

I’d be more worried about the tax and actual take home pay.

Butchyrestingface · 16/10/2025 16:41

TogetherWeRise · 16/10/2025 16:37

@Willowtree5
Wow.
I'm a hospital ward Sister.
I am responsible for managing the care of 26 critically ill patients and a team of 20 staff of mixed skill levels, some of whom need huge levels of supervision to ensure high standards of care.
I am paid a salary of £47,810. London.
I would be crying with gratitude to be earning your current salary, let alone your proposed one.
What job do you do?

Something far more important than saving lives or caring for the sick, doubtless. And hell slap it into ye for not negotiating a better deal out of the bountiful fields of plenty that is the NHS.

Butchyrestingface · 16/10/2025 16:43

Neemie · 16/10/2025 16:40

How much trouble are these 3 people going to be?!

I’d be more worried about the tax and actual take home pay.

That would also be my concern.

i wouldn’t find the uplift “insulting” though. My mate got a 50p ph uplift about 12 years ago for taking on supervisory responsibilities in her role.

Onegingerhead · 16/10/2025 16:44

I manage people of half of your current salary, but it hugely depends on the sector. I voted AIBU but appreciate the increase can be seen as an insult in your field of work

LooseCanyon · 16/10/2025 16:46

Butchyrestingface · 16/10/2025 16:43

That would also be my concern.

i wouldn’t find the uplift “insulting” though. My mate got a 50p ph uplift about 12 years ago for taking on supervisory responsibilities in her role.

Which isn't far off what OP would be getting after tax per managed person.

Neurodiversitydoctor · 16/10/2025 16:47

HolyMacaroniBatman · 16/10/2025 16:24

It depends on what you want to do longer term. Lots of people struggle to get promotion to leadership roles because they don’t have line management experience. If you’ve already got this or aren’t looking for career progression at the moment then it sounds like the pay increase won’t be enough for you to want to do it.

If this gives you better career prospects longer term, £20k looks like a fair and reasonable uplift.

The pay band you’re in of just over £100k is one you don’t want to get stuck in because of the tax implications. But if you’re lucky enough that your pay and career are heading that way then the trick is to get promoted through it as quickly as possible.

This I had a year or so in this bracket now through it so much better.

Neurodiversitydoctor · 16/10/2025 16:49

Butchyrestingface · 16/10/2025 16:43

That would also be my concern.

i wouldn’t find the uplift “insulting” though. My mate got a 50p ph uplift about 12 years ago for taking on supervisory responsibilities in her role.

It's £2.80 ph extra after tax.

Princejoffyjaffur · 16/10/2025 16:49

YourPeppyAmberTraybake · 16/10/2025 14:28

I think it sounds a really decent rise and it could lead to career progression.

My DH managed 150 people and earned 185k including his bonus.

no one can manage 150 people effectively. I suspect he had direct reports.

justasking111 · 16/10/2025 16:51

Ionlymakejokestodistractmyself · 16/10/2025 16:04

Judging from your OP and subsequent replies, no I don't think you should take on the line management responsibility.

Nor I. Not because of the responsibility but the timing. You're on your own with young children. You don't need more on your plate just now.

Butchyrestingface · 16/10/2025 16:51

LooseCanyon · 16/10/2025 16:46

Which isn't far off what OP would be getting after tax per managed person.

In which case, I’d only do it if there was a clear hell out of dodge progression route. 🙂

Butchyrestingface · 16/10/2025 16:52

Neurodiversitydoctor · 16/10/2025 16:49

It's £2.80 ph extra after tax.

I’ll tell my mate she’s in the wrong line of business. 😀

SwarmsofLadybirds · 16/10/2025 16:52

notthemayo · 16/10/2025 15:04

Just to add OP (as it seems to be central to your case) that I live in London too. Nursery fees of over £1500pcm. Husband who earns significantly less than me. And yet we survive!

You don't say your household income, but if it's around 90k ish split Iver 2 salaries then you're probably taking home more or the same as OP on a single salary of 105k. Plus you can claim child benefit which she won't be able to.

Neurodiversitydoctor · 16/10/2025 16:53

I have 6 direct reports on £160,000 if relevant.

GinSwiggers · 16/10/2025 16:53

You need to look at the salaries of your colleagues who are on that level of responsibility. There will be bands and you can't expect more than others with more responsibility.

Doyouthinktheyknow · 16/10/2025 16:53

I don’t think it’s unreasonable personally but it’s entirely your choice!

I don’t agree with it but in the NHS the difference between a band 6 charge nurse and band 7 Ward Manager was less than £1k a year when I stepped up. The difference in responsibility was enormous. I was managing nearly 30 people.

I did get an incremental rise after 2 years but stepped back a band in a different role with no managerial responsibilities and I now earn more because I do unsocial hours for a huge amount less stress.

SwarmsofLadybirds · 16/10/2025 16:55

OP, I wouldn't find it insulting but bear in mind it's their first offer. Why don't you counter it? They can only say no.

SpigTheFish · 16/10/2025 16:56

I dont think its insulting but you will get clobbered for tax, and probably won't see much of an increase.

I'd turn it down because I hate managing people.

thankgoditssaturday · 16/10/2025 16:57

You’ve clearly never worked in the health service!

SwarmsofLadybirds · 16/10/2025 16:57

sosorryimnotsorry · 16/10/2025 14:40

Nobody needs over £100k sorry YABU. I would expect anyone over £100k to be having huge responsibilities including managing people. You are just being greedy

What a bloody ridiculous mindset.

Firedrink · 16/10/2025 17:01

OP, you are perfectly reasonable to say no thanks to a low ball offer after tax.
What exactly is the net gain, versus the responsibility.
You already have huge sole responsibility in your private life, such an increase in work needs to be worth your while.
Yanbu at all.

Thisiswhatitsoundslike81 · 16/10/2025 17:01

YABU.... But only because I only know of restructures in the HEI sector whereby people have been told they're now managing X number of people (having zero reports before) with absolutely no increase in salary and staying on the same grade as others who have no LM responsibility...

Oh, and on about a third of the salary you've been offered!

CheezePleeze · 16/10/2025 17:01

ilovesooty · 16/10/2025 16:17

She seems to have a high opinion of herself and has been pretty rude to some people on this thread.

Yeah this is what I don't get.

If she's so big and important that she can just 'walk' into another job if she's restructured out of this one, why has she turned to a parenting website for advice?

Embarrassing.