To tell MIL to go with other SIL

[Tightytights]

MIL asked my DH if I’ll take her shopping to buy an outfit for an upcoming special event. I suggested a shopping experience at John Lewis as I’d had one and enjoyed it. I have only two ‘free’ days this month to myself and agreed on one of those days to drive her to the store (1.5 hours drive each way).
She suggested we make a day of it and could I book lunch somewhere which I did, I booked a ‘naive’ place. She’s now invited other DIL and her adult granddaughter (who both are extremely frugal shall we say!), and wants me to find/book somewhere cheaper. Neither of them work and to be honest I do feel somewhat miffed at now having to spend the day chauffeuring them and having them moan about the cost of everything to the point MIL will no doubt end up funding their lunch anyway, and I’ll have to pay for a possibly boring lunch for myself.
AIBU to tell MIL to book a place herself? DH says she’ll get all flustered about that but I’d prefer not to go at all now but neither of them drive so they need me.

Why doesn’t your DH take them?

YANBU , but , I think you have to go , if only to drive. But suggest MIL ask the other DIL to book lunch, somewhere she is comfortable, and hope it’s reasonable.

It does sound like my idea of hell to be honest, but you are doing a kind thing for MIL , so I would just suck it up.

Not sure why they would want to go to watch granny trying on outfits to be honest, but maybe you can lose them , and just meet up for the drive home.

I am aware that I sound awful….

She asked me for my ‘fashion expertise’? Other DIL and her daughter don’t really do clothes and to be fair I am certainly no expert but compared to them I am maybe.

Just cancel - it no longer works for you - she can choose clothes online.

I agree with the above poster, it makes sense if the other DIL books a place to eat as cost will dictate her choices.

Has your MIL been watching too much 'Say yes to the Dress?' Annoying that your MIL invited the other two without consulting you.

I would try and get out of it, blame work, suggest that DH ferries them around and enjoys some family time.

Suggest to MIL that you meet with SIL another day, as you were looking forward to your day out.

I agree with this

Sounds like she wants a nice day out with you all.

you seem annoyed as it’s taking up a ‘free’ day of yours. Do you not like spending time with your MIL?

I understand the lunch thing, if MIL will get flustered just message SIL and ask where they would like to go

I think this was the plan all along. Add them in, get you to sort everything and be their driver.

But maybe I'm cynical.

Can MIL get personal shopper in John Lewis so you don't have to ? Then maybe you can wander off on your own. I hate when someone changes the plan . Adds a whole new vibe to the trip. Only two need to go . Cant think of anything worse than shopping with a gang.

MIL is nice enough but I certainly don’t choose to spend time with SIL as we are just very different people, huge age gap, massively different outlook on life etc. I can’t quite fathom why her and her daughter (who is also the same as her mother) would want to go except it’s a free day trip out!

Bet MIL planned it so you’d all have a day out together, my moneys on it. Youll just have to go if youve already agreed to drive etc.

First, what's the event? Is this a family function that your MIL knows your SIL and/or her granddaughter might need an outfit for as well?

I don't think I would cancel. MN's hatred of people asking for anything aside, asking another woman whose opinion you trust to help you pick out a dress for an important occasion isn't an extreme request and you haven't given any info to suggest that the presence of your SIL and niece is enough reason to cancel. I would also be willing to be flexible about lunch.

But you also don't have to do all the work here. Ask your MIL to pick a new place for lunch if she wants to go elsewhere and offer to rebook if that's the type of task that overwhelms her. Then just keep falling back on "MIL thought everyone would like it" in response to any complaints.

A function just MIL is going to, it’s an award ceremony. She is going with a friend who is very fashionable and understandably wants to look and feel nice.
Ive suggested SIL chooses somewhere for lunch and she’s responded that ‘they don’t know how to do things like that, that’s more your thing’. This is exactly what I feared as they don’t do the internet etc so it’s left to me.
I really feel like saying no but know it’s going to cause more drama.

If you are feeling generous, agree to go but insist your husband go along as well. That way at least you will have some support.

If he declines, I'd cancel. She can shop online or get her fashionable friend to help her. Free days are precious to people who work full time; I would not be spending 3 hours on the road and hours more faffing about watching someone else evaluate clothing choices.

What is she receiving an award for, if she is so minimally competent that she cannot book a restaurant reservation?

They all sound helpless and annoying. It feels like you agreed to this trip under false pretenses and your MIL should definitely have consulted you to check that you were OK with it before inviting her other DIL and her adult grandaughter.

You've already booked a restaurant that you like so if this isn't suitable for your SIL, she should suggest and book somewhere else.

Totally agree with this! Back out now!
'Oh isn't it great SIL can take you, I was going to.have to cancel!'
If you drove them all,and mil then paid for them, but not you, I'd drive off and leave them!

I’d be tempted to respond that you haven’t got time to look for another lunch venue-so you’ll cancel the current one and they can choose a place on the day.

it’s frustrating that they’ve decided to tag along but are requiring you to change your plans. No good deed goes unpunished!

Yes, this is exactly how I feel that no good deed goes unpunished!!
I have suggested again that SIL researches and books somewhere that suits her or alternatively I’m happy to leave them to it. I’ve done my bit in booking the stylist session.
They are furiously pathetic to be honest and I am always the capable one and this time I just may say no!!

Most people don't like their MIL THAT much. How rude of her to invite other people. I would be cancelling. You are just a useful free taxi.

If you have booked 'an experience' in John Lewis and I am assuming a personal shopper pulling some items, then MIL doesn't have to rely on your fashion expertise. They will be a professional for that. Work emergency means your DH can do the driving then he can park himself on the sofa and enjoy spending time with his Mother, SIL and niece.

Or dh can do the driving ?!!

I wouldn't be agreeing to any further outings.
Her adding others into the outing would piss me off, so rude.
You are the driver.
Send her son for a family day out.
Utterly thankless in this case.

I think it was really amis of DH to invite MIL.,SIL etc.Uncle Tom Cobley and all.

It was quite cheeky really, and they look as though were fishing for a cheap day out and chauffeur driven lifts from you.

I would have a real beef with DH about this.

What a nerve

An ex friend who l was out with on a music night let her daughter come along and join us for most ot the night.

Because her daughter had got fed up with friends she had gone out with from work.

Just cancel OP. You know it’s not going to end well!