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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want to do anything after Christening

101 replies

JoannaVictoria · 15/10/2025 19:09

I have an 8 week old baby and I’m having her christened this weekend.

I’ve chosen two god parents , a friend who has a child in my son’s year at school and my uncle so it is a small gathering.

AIBU to not want to do anything afterwards and just go home to breastfeed?

I’m still quite tired generally and just feel the christening itself is enough.

OP posts:
Ohthatsabitshit · 15/10/2025 19:10

You might not want to but surely everyone can pull together to celebrate welcoming your child into the church and the world?

DappledThings · 15/10/2025 19:11

Why not just have those few people round for cake? That's not too tiring is it?

TheatricalLife · 15/10/2025 19:13

I think I'd have to at least offer up tea and cake. I can't imagine people will hang around too long anyway?

Cakeandusername · 15/10/2025 19:16

Up to you. I think people would expect something after so if not make it clear. Would church let you do tea and cake after? Or just do tea and cake at home. My elderly mum really enjoys looking at my christening photos, it’s photos of a very modest gathering in our house with cake and loved ones holding the baby.

mumonthehill · 15/10/2025 19:17

People are stepping up to be a god parent to your child, i do think this deserves some cake and a cuppa if nothing else. It is something deeply meaningful and should be celebrated.

Sagaciously · 15/10/2025 19:18

That’s pretty odd. You need to do something to celebrate.

Rewis · 15/10/2025 19:18

I'd be a bit confused about a christening that had no cake and cofeee/tea served.

Dartmoorcheffy · 15/10/2025 19:19

I think this is why most people wait for the baby ro be a bit older before they get them christened. Why not postpone for 6 months and then you will have more energy and it will be more enjoyable for you.

Soonenough · 15/10/2025 19:19

If it is too much for you atm would you perhaps wait until baby is a bit older ?

HeddaGarbled · 15/10/2025 19:19

You need to feed and water the people who are attending at your behest.

user2848502016 · 15/10/2025 19:21

Maybe a quick cup of tea and cake at yours? Just godparents and close family.
You can get changed and breastfeed then. It’s a bit miserable to go home and do nothing

Screamingabdabz · 15/10/2025 19:21

YANBU. We only had the Godparents back for tea and cake after the church service. It was all pretty low key. It’s the spiritual symbolism of the sacrament that matters - not the knees up afterwards.

ComtesseDeSpair · 15/10/2025 19:24

Well, it’s a bit “Get out of bed early on a Sunday to come and do something important to me, now fuck off.” Inviting godparents and any close family attending home for tea and cake afterwards isn’t so hard, and won’t stop you breastfeeding.

Or, if you really really insist on not doing anything, then at least put some money behind the bar of a local pub or something and tell everyone to get themselves a drink on you and have a bit of a mingle and a chat.

Katflapkit · 15/10/2025 19:27

Order some sandwiches, cold plates and a cake from Marks & Spencers or Ocado. DH can put th kettle on. - you won't have to lift a finger

erinaceus · 15/10/2025 19:29

Is it your regular church? If it is, I would ask others in the congregation to help you provide some cake and tea. Explain you’re tired with a newborn and ask for a little help.

If the christening is taking place as part of a regular Sunday service there will likely be some hospitality after already so you could top it up with some posher cakes for the occasion or ask a baker in the congregation to make one.

Given you’ve got an eight week old I think it’s fine to ask for some help and keep the hospitality part on the shorter side but I do think it is necessary.

Roselily123 · 15/10/2025 20:08

wait till baby’s about 6 months - like most folks.
we were busy decorating the dining room ( for the house party ) after the christening- that by the time we got round for the christening, baby was 18 months old.
It turned out the most wonderful day.
It snowed in the morning, so the other 2 christening cried off, and we had the whole church to ourselves.
i certainly couldn’t have done all that at 8 weeks and breast feeding.

Aligirlbear · 15/10/2025 20:13

If you feel you must have the christening at 8 weeks then at least you should have tea and cake for those attending. Churches often have coffee after a Sunday service so could you tag onto that with cake if you feel something at home would be too much ? You really should do something for those making a special effort to attend. If you feel this way would you be better holding off until baby is 6 months or so ?

Original poster
JoannaVictoria · 15/10/2025 20:25

Screamingabdabz · 15/10/2025 19:21

YANBU. We only had the Godparents back for tea and cake after the church service. It was all pretty low key. It’s the spiritual symbolism of the sacrament that matters - not the knees up afterwards.

Yes my thoughts exactly!

OP posts:
Original poster
JoannaVictoria · 15/10/2025 20:37

Just a bit more info

We are regular church goers.

Christening is at a quiet time So not part of Sunday service.

No waiting isn’t right for us (nothing against it) but a priority for us is to have her Christened asap. Not first baby and have always done so for other children.

One of the godparents had a previous alcohol problem so a pub isn’t an option.

I have an autistic son who would struggle with something at home afterwards which kind of adds to the pressure.

OP posts:
Katflapkit · 15/10/2025 23:29

Not really sure what you wanted from posting on here. I get that you don't want to wait, and that you are tired with an 8 week old baby but mostly everyone has said small refreshments afterwards would be in order. You have pushed back on all of the suggestions. There's no need to post if you are certain of your choices.

MrsMoastyToasty · 15/10/2025 23:34

Go to a nice restaurant for lunch. Hot food cooked for you and someone else does the washing up afterwards!

RightOnTheEdge · 15/10/2025 23:58

As long as you let the people attending know in plenty of time so they are not expecting it and are disappointed, then I think you can do what you want.

It's nice that you are doing it because it's important to you.
My family and people that I know that christened their kids just did it for the party and never set foot in a church normally.

Whatwouldnanado · 16/10/2025 00:06

Is there a hall at the church? Nurse the baby before the service. Bring napkins milk tea and coffee. Surely you have a mate who could put the urn on and set some crockery out. Cake, bowl of strawberries, pots of tea and cordial for the kids and you’re sorted. It’s a social day for everyone.

fourelementary · 16/10/2025 00:09

It would be polite to offer your child’s godparents something after- even if just a cuppa. You can breastfeed with them there surely? Couldn’t your husband make you all bacon rolls and a cuppa, then you get a nap with baby for the afternoon? Your son you mention would surely be expecting lunch anyway so two other people he is familiar with shouldn’t be too challenging?

Cakeandusername · 16/10/2025 03:59

With your updates I think best bet is speak to church if they have facilities for a cup of tea after usual service just ask if you can do same after Christening. I’m sure one of congregation would be happy to help.
Doesn’t need to be for long just a cup of tea and piece of cake.
It doesn’t detract from baptism. I personally think it’s rude to invite people then send on way as soon as service over. Surely people will want to chat and see baby and have a few photos.